Teaching about Temptation

I realize this is a silly, minor, pre-school situation, but I try to see the teachable moment whenever I can.

I should start by mentioning that I don't like Sponge Bob. I know many moms think he's harmless, but that show is not the kind of cartoon I want my kids to watch. Anytime you need to answer a question like, "Mommy, why did Sponge Bob jump off that building? Why does he want to kill himself?" you start getting clued in that it's not quality children's programming. I don't like the messages it sends, I don't appreciate the humor, and I certainly don't want my kids mimicking the behaviors and attitudes of the characters.

It's bad enough that I have to decode harmless phrases like, "Who killed my sister?" which seems odd until Ryan adds, "Who killed the Wicked Witch of the East...was it YOU?" (they love Wizard of Oz, flying monkeys and all)

That said, guess what show is usually on at our gym daycare? Yup. Sponge Bob. Sometimes they turn it to Playhouse Disney, but Sponge Bob is on more often now that the bigger kids are out of school. Whenever it's time to pick my kids up after my workout, they announce, "Hey Mom! Sponge Bob was on t.v. today!" Aah, the forbidden fruit...

The thing that makes me most frustrated is that every hour, they have the kids do a massive clean-up of all of the toys. The routine is: they get a sticker if they helped clean up, then they all sit in front of the t.v. for 5-10 minutes to relax before destroying the room again. I see why the workers do this, but it's starting to bother me. Several times when I've picked up the kids, they've been among 30 other kids sitting quietly in front of that horrible Sponge Bob cartoon. It was quite surprising to figure out that my kids are not being encouraged to, but practically forced to watch a show that I despise!

Well, yesterday when I dropped the kids off, one of the workers asked if we found out what we're having, so I stopped to chat with her for a minute. Before I left, I scanned the room to wave "good-bye" to Ryan and I found him alone, laying in front of the t.v., enamoured with Sponge Bob. Now, that could partly be my own fault since they don't watch t.v. at home anymore. The kid misses t.v. - I get that. (That's going GREAT, by the way...the imaginative things these kids are playing amaze me every day.)

I'm sure many of you are thinking, "If you'd just let him watch t.v. every once in a while..." Save it. The benefits of the t.v. being off in our home are not even worth arguing over. The fact that he gets creative when he's bored instead of flipping on the t.v. is so exciting for me. It's the same concept as giving your kids sugary foods consistently so they won't go nuts at birthday parties. Personally, I'd rather my kids overeat at parties and get the sick feeling they should get after eating garbage.

I called Ryan over to the little door and explained to him that he has a choice: even when I'm not around, he can choose to follow our house rules or he can choose to do what he wants to do, even if it goes against what he knows I would want him to do. He nodded, knowing exactly what I was talking about, looking down in embarrassment as he walked away. He knows why I don't like Sponge Bob. I've actually watched it with him and pointed out examples of why I disapprove of the show.

Fast forward an hour to pick-up time. Kaylin saw me right away and went to tell Ryan that it was time to leave. There he was, again, sitting alone staring blankly at Sponge Bob while dozens of other kids were busy playing around him. (*sigh*)

On the way to the car, I thought over my words carefully. Although this is a minor offense, it kind of isn't. I know many of you will think I'm blowing it out of proportion, but this could be a pre-curser to things to come. Integrity is a huge issue for me and I want to take every possible opportunity to teach these kids the importance of doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.

I started by talking to Ryan about the choices he gets to make when Mike and I aren't around. He has the freedom to obey the rules we set at home, to do as he pleases or to do what other kids are doing, even when he knows that we wouldn't approve. I explained that there are many rules that we have at home that need to be followed when he leaves our front door: using his manners, being kind and polite, sharing and taking turns, not using "potty words" or other disrespectful language, things like that.

From there, I brought up the choice he made to watch Sponge Bob at the gym instead of playing video games, coloring, climbing the slide structure, or to playing with other kids or toys. He hads plenty of other options of fun things to do at the Kids Club.

But this is where I leave it up to him. I want him to want to make the right choice. I didn't think I'd be giving him this freedom at his 5th birthday, of course, but this is very similar to a gazillion other choices he'll make as he gains maturity and wisdom.

I remember facing tough decisions in my early elementary years: should I use 4 letter words just like my friends? Should I tease the weird kid at school who gets on everyone's nerves or should I be kind to them? Should I "take" the crayons that my mom won't buy me or wait until my birthday, like she suggested? (by the way, I was 5 years old and I DID "take" them, but I felt so guilty that I didn't color with them for almost 3 years) Should I sneak a cookie that I was told not to eat, even though no one is around to see it? Should I lie to my mom about doing (fill in the blank here) without permission or should I tell the truth?

Remember when I recently posted about my kids growing up and getting easier? Um, yeah...they're not as physically needy as they once were, but the brain cells I have to use every day to mold and direct their young minds is exhausting. I'm beginning to understand the people who say that parenting only gets tougher. I think most phases are probably difficult in their own way. At first, the physical demands are exhausting, then you're in teach, teach, teach mode, and soon we'll have tween attitudes and hard-core teen issues to deal with.

And then they'll grow up, move out and we'll miss them like crazy. Are we gluttons for punishment or what???