Teaching Kids to do Mom's Chores

I feel crippled. Not to take away from people who are actually crippled and not just temporarily without the use of an appendage, but seriously, it takes me 3-4 times longer to do the simplest of tasks. Not being able to do things for myself and my family is extremely humbling! This unbelievably expensive accidental broken wrist has limited my ability to run a functional household and I've been forced to make some adjustments.

During the week, Mike is really only home and available for a few short hours to help catch up all that has been neglected throughout the day. So, I've had to solicit my tiny little helpers and begin to train them in the ways of major household chores.

Yesterday, Ryan made oatmeal from start to finish all by himself. The last time he attempted that, he walked away from the pot and it overcooked into a hard, cement-like lump in the pot. (That was not very fun to clean by the way!) But yesterday, 100% success. Absolutely delicious and the pride on his face was priceless. He's been making eggs for quite some time, and now that he has the oatmeal formula down, I only need to teach him how to make smoothies and our regular breakfast menu has a competent new mini-chef.

The next big task that needed attention was folding laundry. After cycling two loads of towels the other day, I left the kids to get all the folding done before they were allowed to play with their friends. They came through like champs, and I only had to take a brief moment to teach Ryan how to fold the towels so that they would fit in the cabinet, then teach Kaylin how to fold the kitchen towels so that they were functional and stackable, not "pretty". (I am now wishing that I would've taken a picture of the "pretty" towels before they were refolded…they were a tower of lumps, piled high in a criss-cross pattern.)

The bottom line is this: it's so much easier to do things ourselves. Teaching kids is a painstaking, patience–building process. But when you're in a position that you have no choice, like I am now, you may as well take the time to teach them correctly. So this is the perfect opportunity for me to sit back and monitor new jobs until they are done well.

They've really had to step up, these kids of mine. I don't always thank them as much as I should throughout the day, but I've made sure that every night at bedtime, they know how much I appreciate their hard work and that I acknowledge all that they did that day. Because it's a lot. 

 Maybe this inability to do chores for weeks and weeks is going to turn out okay after all...? 

Annoying One-Handed Activities

Kaylin picked me out a green cast...it matches absolutely nothing in my closet!

I have never been quite so jealous of people with two working hands than since I broke my wrist.  Now that I have a harder cast, you'd think my free fingers would be more helpful, but they're still very sore with limited mobility. I can't use my thumb at all because the nerves are directly connected to the area I injured. It's awesome. Basically, the tiny sausages fingers on my cast-hand are utterly useless.

Below is just a short list of tasks that are much more difficult (not impossible, but definitely more challenging) to do without the assistance of a non-dominant hand.

It is no longer easy for me to...

- Type

- Zip zippers or fasten buttons 

- Put on deodorant

- Properly wash my hands

- Blow my nose

- Ring out a wash cloth 

- Clasp a bra 

- Pull my hair back 

- Hang a shirt back on the hanger when I change my mind about what I'm wearing 

- Take out the contact in my right eye because my nose is in the way 

- Put the cap back on the toothpaste

- Clap when my oldest son gets baptized 

- Tie my youngest son's shoes 

- Curl my daughters hair
- Braid my daughters hair
- Pull my daughters hair into a pony tail

- Hold a book to read (ironically, now that I have time) 

- Turn sharp corners quickly in my vehicle
- Make a 20 point turn when people park too close to me in a parallel spot

- Wash dishes by hand
- Fold towels
- Fold PJs
- Fold laundry of any kind

- Chop vegetables for my salad

- Cut up meat for my kids

- Lift a large package of anything into my cart at Costco 

- Fill produce bags without the contents rolling out 

- Put a twist tie on said produce bag 

- Shave my good-arm armpit 

- Pop a zit (I haven't had to do that yet but that thought occurred to me today)
- Put on a Band Aid

- Change my sons sheet after he wets the bed 

- Open jars, bottles, or things without a flip-cap top
- Open packages of any kind

- Close storage bags and containers

- Change the toilet paper roll

- Gather dinner ingredients in my arms in one trip like Rachel Ray 

I'm considering becoming a hippie. Bra-less, no-frills hair, no shaving my pits, lack of deodorant, skirts and dresses all the time...now if I could just learn how to play the acoustic guitar one-handed, I'd lead us all in a few 60s tunes.

Don't get me wrong - I am grateful my right wrist wasn't affected. I can write, drive, flip pancakes, and wipe my own bum without assistance. I'm trying to find positives in the little things!

I'll begin writing more uplifting posts soon, but for now, I'm enjoying wallowing in self-pity. Feel free to laugh at my inabilities...someday, I'm sure I'll join you.

 

I had plans...

This week, all three of my kids are at vacation Bible school from 9am to noon. I haven't had this much pre-planned alone-time in...a very long time. I made a hair appointment, had a list of things I wanted to do around the house, shopping to do, returns to make, and piles of scrapbooking to catch up on. I even planned to cross several things off my 101 in 1001 list. (#8, #24, #37, #57, #65, #66, #68, #86, #87, and #96, to be exact)

But all of these things are difficult to do with one hand. Possible, yes, but much more difficult and much more time consuming then I was expecting. The hair appointment was well-timed, since it took me two hours to shower, wash my hair, blow dry my hair with Kaylin's help, and get dressed for church on Sunday. Getting my hair cut, colored, and styled yesterday should last me at least 3-4 days of not having to think about what my hair looks like. (don't judge) Because you know it's gonna be a hot mess without two hands to hold both the round brush and the blow dryer. 

I'm trying to take the hint that God wants me to slow down a little bit this week, but short of sitting around and watching t.v., it's been tough. I'm already bored out of my mind and growing increasingly antsy. I'm severely frustrated that all of my plans will not get accomplished. I suppose I could organize some of the nooks and crannies that were on my list, it will just take a very long time.

This little accident of mine is really cramping my style. Don't expect too many fun, excited, happy Katie posts until this stupid cast is off. Because it's making me cranky.

(*sigh*)

#43 - Find an amazing hair stylist who can do my hair the way Kristi did

(we interrupt this week of a wallowing, one-handed pity party for an exciting announcement)

6/25/13 - today (that's not a duck face, that's me looking sultry)

Finding a great hair person is not easy. In a city the size of Phoenix, you'd think I'd have tons of options, but not many "great" stylists charge an affordable price anymore.

A while back, I weaseled my way in to get a cut from my pastor's daughter. She was very inexpensive and very popular, meaning she was booked 8 weeks out and wasn't taking new clients. But I saw the results of her work and begged, and she saw the mop on my head and agreed to help me. 

She didn't have time to take on another color client, so I began coloring my hair dark. Myself. It was fine some days, ugly and ashy others.

2/20/09

Eventually, I got sick of it. And instead of watching in horror as I turned my locks orange while going back to blonde on my own, she slowly highlighted it back to blonde for me.

4/15/09 - the first highlights in the six month process

We had a great thing going, Kristi and me. Then she moved far, far away. I had Mike take a picture of my last cut from her, so I could remember what my hair "used to look like".

2/11/11

I tried a couple new stylists, but to no avail. One did great color, but I didn't love the cut, the other did great cuts but took three hours for an full appointment and was 20 minutes away. And I didn't love the color.

3/13/13

Today, I went back to another new girl for the second time. Before celebrating that I found someone new, I wanted to make sure the first cut/color success wasn't a fluke.

during...

...after

It doesn't appear to be a fluke. So I can cross #43 off my list of 101 in 1001 list. Yay!

#90 - Get a new kitchen table

A couple of weeks ago, Mike and I spent a hot date night shopping for a deal on a kitchen table. Don't be jealous...13 years and we still got it goin' on!!!

It was delivered last week and we love it! It's dark, pub height, has a fun lazy susan in the middle and storage underneath. Not to mention that the sides fold up to make it round and more accommodating for guests. 

Tonight after dinner (that my sweet friend brought us), Mike summoned the kids to attack the mess that we call a kitchen. He loaded the dishwasher, Ryan cleared the table, Kaylin wiped rice off the chairs (in her leotard from gymnastics and her crown from VBS today), and Jason vacuumed. If I wasn't so depressed about my broken wrist, I might have enjoyed watching them lazily! But I welled up with pride and took this picture, realizing I hadn't posted about our new table yet. May this one last 20 years, just like the last one! #90 is crossed off the 101 in 1001 list!

Battling Attention/Focus Issues with Nutrition

Last week, I mentioned that we took the boys off gluten. Many moms with hyperactive, um, busy children have reported incredible results in behavior when their lifestyles eliminated wheat and gluten. Children with ADD and ADHD who have removed gluten from their diets have been taken off medication while showing vast improvements in following instructions and focusing on daily tasks, chores, and school work.

I wanted to give it a try, even though I didn't understand all of the details. After this weekend, I finally feel like I'm in the loop on WHY it works, not just THAT it works. 

Mike and I spent all day Friday and Saturday at the Arizona Families for Home Education (AFHE) Annual Conference. One of the speakers, Dianne Craft, taught one-hour break-out sessions to cover a variety of learning delays and processing problems. This woman was awesome: she stopped doing personal consultations (people would fly in from all over to see her for just a day) when she realized she was booking out more than 12 months. Now, she teaches to the masses through her website and speaking engagements. She doesn't want kids to wait a year to get the help they need. I was so blessed to hear her speak about topics that are daily struggles in our family.

Her talk about why kids have focus and attention issues was absolutely intriguing. Sure enough, the primary reason for many children has to do with their nutrition. 

I feel like I'm going to be all over the board explaining what I learned this weekend, so I apologize. To hear what I heard, you can go to this website and click on 2013 AFHE Annual Convention (if it's not available now, it should be up later this week) and get the "Kids and Teenagers with Focus/Attention Problems" $4 download. If you struggle the way we do with any kind of learning glitches, daydreaming kids, even picky eaters or kids who are highly sensitive to textures, sounds or tags on their clothing, listening to this download will be a great investment of your money and time. (PS - No, I am not being paid in any way for referring you to her website.)

In the meantime, I'll try to recap some of the highlights for you. Basically, kids with these kinds of issues have an imbalance in their "gut". Maybe they had anti-biotics for ear infections when they were little or you had mastitis while nursing and took anti-biotics yourself. Regardless, the affects are  completely reversible and the results are incredible. 

Many of us know that people, boys especially, don't get enough essential fatty acids and oils. Increasing fish oil (not from Costco or Walmart, by the way - we've been taking the wrong pills) and other natural supplements (to rebalance their "gut") will show amazing improvements when paired with drastically reducing (or eliminating) gluten, processed foods and sugar. She has many supplements that she personally recommends and sells on her website, but she encouraged us to buy them at our local health food store or online if we can find them cheaper. Her heart was to help kids, not to get rich...I am so excited to see if this affects our boys and even me, with my unmedicated ADD. This is her recipe for rebalancing the "gut": 

* Pro-biotics 3 times a day for 3 months to "re-plant" the good stuff that was killed off by anti-biotics. (NOT chewable, liquid or powder and must be refrigerated only - if you get this brand from a discount provider, you will just need to take double the amount of capsules because it will not have been received in freezer packs and has less "life" in it)

* A natural anti-fungal like Grapefruit Seed extract 3 times a day for 3 months to kill the yeast that is fed when gluten and sugar is consumed. Tablets only, not liquid. For children under 6, open the capsule and sprinkle it on something sweet - as long as it gets swallowed, do what works!

* To see the full effects of what healing nutritional deficiencies in children really can do, she also recommended trying the following 3 times a day for 3 months: magnesium (for noise sensitivity, irritability, racing thoughts), 5HTP (the "cooperation" vitamin, insomnia, fear, helps the "Eeyore" personality), EFAs (attention/dyslexia), Orange-Flavored Cod Liver Oil (that is emulsified) for better brain performance. There are recommended brands of all of these in her website store.

Mike is a natural skeptic and even he is on board. We shopped around and placed an order for a bunch of natural supplements that we're going to try. The personal testimonies for various results of this 3 month "plan of attack" were inspiring. Children whose grades improved, some who ate meat for the first time after 5 years because the texture didn't bother them, others whose learning problems were "fixed".

The characteristics of the types of kids this process will help described my (seemingly picky/stubborn) boys to a tee. Things like anger/irritability/aggression, memory problems, bed wetting, chewing on clothing (this is new for Jason), sensitivity to loud noises, sensitivity to tags on clothes or clothes that aren't soft/worn in, seeing more negatives than positives ("it's not fair"), mood swings (I affectionately call Jason my bi-polar boy), sugar/carb cravings - just to name a few. Kids don't exhibit all of the characteristics listed, but I was shocked how many of them described Jason and Ryan.

If you're interested, I'm happy to scan and email a copy of my notes from this lecture, as she doesn't go over all of the hand out verbally in the recording that I linked to above. But seriously, this information was life-changing. Unless, of course, it was all smoke and mirrors and doesn't work at all. In which case, I will humbly retract the praises I have been singing throughout the past several paragraphs.

I truly think this woman is a genius. Or the people who taught her were geniuses and she's just passing along the information. Regardless, I cannot wait to put some of her advice into practice. I normally don't care about the science and reasoning behind why things are the way they are, but hearing her explain the brain and how it works was captivating. Her talk on Training Your Child's Photographic Memory is going to transform how I teach my kids math and spelling. If you're a homeschool mom, be sure to download that recording as well, or at least watch the brief video about her Sight Word Cards on her main webpage. 

I'm so excited to get started with our "new" school year in a few weeks. My kids are going to get their confidence back and fall in love with learning once again!!!

(How's that for optimism?)

Gluten Free Brownie Bake-Off Contest

This morning, I ended up making three different pancake recipes for three different dietary needs. It was chaos, but it was interesting to compare the recipes side-by-side.

I'll go into detail in another post, but we've had Jason off dairy for a few weeks (he had "pancakes" consisting of 2 eggs and a non-ripened banana in the blender - surprisingly good!) and as of Friday, I took the boys off gluten/wheat/flour. They've been fine with it! I made four-ingredient Greek Yogurt Pancakes with Bob's Red Mill Gluten-Free All-Purpose flour and everyone enjoyed them, even Mike. For me, I made my go-to: Biggest Loser Oatmeal Pancakes. 

This afternoon when I was in the mood to bake and everyone was craving a sweet treat, I suggested that we have a brownie-making contest. I am embarrassed to say that I have SEVEN flourless brownie recipes on my Pinterst board and have been wondering which is best. I've made the Clean Eating Brownies and they were good (souffle-like), but I wanted to compare them to another recipe or two. We couldn't make this recipe because we were out of bananas and this one required pumpkin. But I had plenty of recipes left to choose from.

We started with boys vs. girls making three recipes and added a fourth when the kids asked if they could switch parent partners after the first recipe. 

Brownie #1 (Chef Kaylin and Chef Mommy)

"Zucchini Paleo Brownies" made with almond butter, grated zucchini, honey, egg, vanilla, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg and chocolate chips.

Brownie #2 (Chef Ryan and Chef Mike)

"Best Gluten Free Brownies Ever" made with almond butter, eggs, agave nectar, vanilla, cocoa powder, salt, baking powder and chocolate chips.

Brownie #3 (Chef Ryan and Chef Mommy)

"Sweet Potato Paleo Brownies" made with melted chocolate (chips), cooked sweet potatoes, honey, eggs, vanilla, baking soda, salt, and just 1 T each coconut oil and coconut flour. I left out the cocoa powder (we ran out) but adding a little extra coconut flour (unsweetened, shredded coconut in a coffee bean grinder) and some chocolate chips on top.

Brownie #4 (Chef Kaylin and Chef Mike)

"Chickpea Brownies" made with Starbucks Via, chickpeas (garbanzo beans), eggs, baking powder, salt, chocolate chips, sugar (we used agave nectar) and canola oil (could use coconut, but we followed the recipe for this ingredient).

We measured, mixed, baked, cleaned, waited, cut, tasted, and voted. At one point, Mike said, "I wonder what we should have for dessert?" Smart alec.

Brownie #2 was the only one that got a "thumbs up" from all of us. Of course, Jason voted all four brownies a "thumbs up" - the only "thumbs down" was from Ryan on Brownie #4. He HATED the coffee flavor. Mike wants me to add a Starbucks Via to Brownie #2. It was a little strong for my taste, but a little might enhance the flavor of the chocolate.

This bake-off was a fun family activity. It was fun for me, obviously, because I love to bake, but Mike and the kids even got really into it. Mike committed to his two recipes without complaining and Ryan didn't check out until Jason woke up from his nap and was ready to wrestle. We need to all work together in the kitchen more often!

How's not yelling going?

Has anyone been wondering how I'm doing with the whole "no yelling" challenge? Well let me tell ya: It's going quite well, thankyouverymuch! Not perfect, but it's rare if I raise my voice once every few days anymore. I think I'm getting a handle on my reactions!

It's a good thing, too. Because I'm seeing different angles of things that used to send me over the edge. For instance, a few weeks ago, I was making dinner and the kids were playing in the garage. All of the elements of dinner were ready to be pulled off the stove at the same time when suddenly, my doorbell rang. Then again. Then againandagainandagainandagain. I knew it was Jason, but instead of swinging the door open and barking, "Stop it. NOW!" I opened the door gently, expecting to calmly squat down and remind him to ring the doorbell only once.

But when the door opened, I found my beaming son with a flower in his hand. "Mommy, I picked this flower JUST for YOU!!!" burst out of his mouth with pride.

(Be still my heart.)

Had I come unglued because of the relentless, back-to-back doorbell ringing, my sweet son would have hung his head and walked away, crushed. That memory would be one of me feeling guilt and shame instead of love and appreciation.

I was proud that I paused and set my frustration aside to use the annoying opportunity as a reminder of courtesy and respect.

Another example that I think I handled well (or at least better than I would have in the past) happened the week after Easter. After his "nap", I walked into Jason's room to find empty eggs and candy wrappers everywhere. Dozens of them.

Me: (inhaling all of the air in the room) "Jason - did you eat all of your Easter candy?!?!?"
Jason: "It wasn't mine."
Me: "I don't care whose it was...did you eat it?"
Jason: "Hmmm..."
Me: (in a warning tone) "Jason Matthew..."
Jason: "I'm not gonna lie...I'm jus' thinkin'..."

I tried to hide my smirk, but he caught me and burst out laughing. How am I supposed to teach this kid lessons when he cracks me up?

At night, Jason is now in the habit of coming out of his room to have me fix his diaper. He calls the closures "the pokes" and he needs me to readjust them after he wiggles around in his bed for a while. This drives Mike nuts. Is he stalling bedtime? Possibly. But when I undo his diaper, it's always red and scratched in the place where he's complaining. He's a big boy and physically, it's time for him to be out of diapers. But, unfortunately for everyone, he's not ready. And diapers don't come in size 7. There's no use getting mad at him for being too big for his diapers. I just expect that he's going to come out of bed every night for me to loosen it a little bit so he can be comfortable for bed. 

It's not always easy to keep my cool and I'm not always able to hold my tongue, but being conscious of my tone and my heart attitude has made a huge difference around here. I want to consistently be in a place of delighting in my kids instead of being put out by them.

Have you taken the "no yelling challenge"? If not, try it today. Then tomorrow. Figure out your triggers and try to eliminate them as much as possible. Take it one day at a time until you retrain yourself to respond differently. It could completely change the tone of your home!

Raw, Gluten-free, Dairy-free, Sugar-free Energy Bars with Chocolate, Cashews, Almonds and Dates

Are you scared of all of my weird recipes lately? I've spent lots of time in the kitchen experimenting this month and I can't help but share the recipes that are worth repeating. I'm posting them so I will remember, but also to help those of you who are on my little gluten-free, dairy-free bandwagon.

That's the kind of girl I am.  I'm a giver.

Ingredients

2 Cups (300g) Moist Medjool Dates, pitted and chopped
2 Cups (280g) Raw Cashew Nuts
½ Cup (60g) Raw Almond (without skin)
¾ Cup (75g) Cocoa Powder
A Pinch Of Sea Salt
½ Cup (40g) Unsweetened Shredded Coconut (I omitted - not a fan)
2 Tbsp Vanilla Extract
2 to 3 Tbsp Cold Water

Equipment: Food Processor
11 ½ x 4 ½ inches (29 x 12 cm) Loaf pan, lined with aluminum foil

Directions

Combine chopped dates, cashews, almonds, cocoa powder, and sea salt in a food processor. Pulse and process all the ingredients together until the texture is coarse. Then add the shredded coconut, a quick pulse, and add the vanilla extract, a little water at a time until it reaches a dry but moist dough consistency. Scrape the dough mixture into the lined pan, press evenly with a rubber spatula, and chill for about an hour before serving.

I Forget About the "Mean Girls"

Today is our first official, planned day off from homeschooling. I was feeling a little burned out and made the executive decision to take the month of June off. It's still cool enough in the afternoons for the kids to play out front with their neighbor friends, we have things like VBS and church camp scheduled, and the novelty of "summer vacation" is definitely in the air with everyone we know. And this is the perfect time for me to get all of my stuff done. Car stuff, hair stuff, doctor appointments, scrapbooking...you know, the important stuff! 

Yesterday after the gym, I took Jason and Kaylin to the car wash and to get the oil changed. During the 1+ hour adventure, I noticed was another mom and a young girl who arrived at the same time as us and had the same services done on their vehicle. The girl befriended Kaylin. 

We learned that her name was Sara and that she just finished 5th grade. She. was. talkative. She talked to Kaylin, she talked to me, she talked to the man sitting near us, she talked and talked and talked. And her mom was silent the entire time. She watched Jason and smiled at his Jason-ness a few times, but she didn't say a word. After an hour of chatting and playing, Sara asked where Kaylin goes to school. 

Kaylin: "We homeschool. I'm getting ready to start 2nd grade and my big brother is starting 4th grade."

Sara: "Oh! You homeschool! I go to (named her school). That's where I make most of my friends. Except I don't have many friends. Most of the kids in my school are pretty mean to me."

Heart. Breaking.

Being in our little homeschooling bubble, I tend to forget about the "mean girls." And the cliques. And the teasing. And the bullying. It's like this cultural stigma that we can't get out from under as a society. There are anti-bullying campaigns and no-tolerance policies and yet there are hundreds of thousands of kids, just like Sara, who are affected by their peers in a negative way.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about Sara. That poor girl could very well continue to grow up feeling less and less worthy. Or maybe she'll get to high school and "find" herself, make some friends who treat her well and use her past pain to write awesome ballads that will earn her a Grammy?

I'm hoping for the latter.