Q&A Wednesday - "How do I leave a comment?"

With the contests I've been holding this summer, I've had several people tell me that they can't enter because they don't know how to leave a comment on a blog. It just occurred to me to write it all out for you so those of you who think you need to sign up for a Blogger account, can see that you DON'T need to!

Step 1: Go to the bottom of the post that you'd like to leave a comment. On my blog, it will say, "6 comments" or even "0 comments" - click on that.

Step 2: Once in the comments screen, type your comment in the text box at the top, right side of the screen.

Step 3: Select one of the options below.
- Log in with your Google (gmail) I.D. OR...
- Log in with an Open ID (for LiveJournal, WordPress, TypePad, AIM or you can type your own OR...
- Click on Name/URL to type just your name or both your name and your blog URL address OR...
- Click Anonymous to come up as "anonymous" with no name or link in your comment.

Step 4: Type the word verification in the box. (that's not on there to annoy you...it helps avoid spam comments)

Step 5: Select "Publish your comment."

I hope that was helpful! Now that it's been explained to you, I expect lots and lots of comments. (Was that subtle? No?)

Ideas for Intentional Parenting

I don't get much controversy on my blog, but my recent post about How I Got my Babies to Sleep Through the Night definitely ruffled some feathers. For those who read my posts through a reader and don't know what I'm talking about, there were some opposing opinions and responses in the comments of that post, including a heart-wrenching situation from a reader whose two month old died of SIDS.

(By the way, one sleep association that I forgot to mention in that post was singing. I have sung the same song to each of my kids, probably until they were 2-3 years old, before bedtime and every nap. Maybe that's how "Rock-a-bye Baby" got it's fame! As I was singing to Jason the other day, it occurred to me how huge that sleep association has been for me. So, for those of you who read my post and are trying to figure out how to get your own babies to sleep well, whether you rock them to sleep or lay them down awake and drowsy, try picking a special song to sing to them each time!)

By nature, I'm a bit of a people pleaser, so hearing that the first commenter was going to potentially stop following me caught me off guard. Although I'm a fairly neutral person, I definitely have my own opinions and I have to realize that I can't please everyone. And since this blog is my outlet, sometimes my ideas are going to rub people the wrong way.

I never want to offend anyone, but the part of my personality that I'm complimented on the most (being "real" in my posts) can be just as easily turned into my greatest weakness. (being "too real" in my posts)

Some asked why I didn't delete the comments that disagreed with my opinions, but honestly, that thought never entered my mind. I'm fine with the comment section of my posts being a place for people to share their feelings and I have no intention of deleting comments unless they're really offensive or just plain mean.

This got me thinking about how and why I parent the way I do. Getting off the topic of babies, I want to talk for a minute about the little people we're raising and who we hope they become.

I remember being clueless about parenting when I was pregnant with Ryan. I thought I had it all figured out by watching what other people did "wrong" through the years, until it came down to doing it myself. Then I realized just how difficult parenting can be.

The best piece of advice I ever received about parenting was this: look at other people's children and how they behave. If you like what you see, be sure to listen to the advice of those parents. That doesn't take into consideration a child's natural temperament or personality, but overall, I've noticed that if I find a child with characteristics I desire for my own kids, I can usually look to their parents for guidance in those areas.

A few years ago, we spent a lot of time with a family whose son was around Ryan's age. He was a very mild-mannered boy (Ryan was still very impulsive), listened to his parents the first time (Ryan often tuned us out), was gentle and loving and kind (Ryan was an over-excited spaz in comparison) and Mike would leave these friends' house feeling horrible about the child we were raising.

But eventually, I noticed that this "perfect" boy's personality did have some drawbacks. For example, his parents were often frustrated when he played sports because he was rarely assertive enough to kick the ball in soccer or play proper defense in football. Sure, he was a natural rule follower, a "lover, not a fighter," but his passivity bothered his dad as much as Ryan's impulsivity (is that word???) bothered Mike.

Sometimes we just need to accept our kids the way they are and understand that what they're going through might be a phase.

I have one particular friend whose children are so amazing that, before she moved away, I used to hang on every word she said about parenting. Her youngest two boys are respectful little gentlemen and her oldest daughter, who just graduated from college, is headed to the Dominican Republic for a year with Campus Crusade for Christ.

I'll share a couple of the secrets she told me. She was the first person to encourage me to write a Family Mission Statement. It took a couple of years, but having that discussion with Mike, along with developing our House Rules has meant that we have a direction for our family.

Also, one of their big family values (in their mission statement) focuses on leadership. So in addition to her daughter being a cheerleader in high school, she was the senior class president, too. A popular, well-liked leader who was on fire for Christ. Talk about well rounded!



One last thing that I remember her telling me is that she intentionally opened their home for play dates and gladly accepted the role of carpool mom. She was able to make teachable moments out of the overheard conversations. "Do you remember when the girls were laughing about the outfit of another girl in school today? How did that make you feel? How could you have responded differently?" Things like that.

I also remember the first time I saw a toddler with good table manners at a restaurant. Upon asking his parents about it, they explained that they practiced "staying seated until everyone is finished" at home, so their kids had more dinner table stamina when they went out to eat.

One thing I find myself thinking about are the rebellious kids, especially the older ones. I realize most kids rebel in some way, but my hope is that the foundations I lay early on will encourage my own to return quickly if they develop a pattern of wrong choices.

(I know I'm getting long winded, but I have to share one final situation. Hang with me!)

Many pastors kids end up rebelling, but all three of our pastor's kids are in ministry and married to pastors. Mike asked our pastor's son about this once. Kind of a "what did your parents do right?" type of a question. He suggested that it was because his parents were pretty strict up until high school, then at that point, they loosened the reigns and let the kids make mistakes while they were still under their roof. By the time they went to college, they weren't confused about their new found freedom and didn't go off the deep end.

Our pastor's daughter cuts my hair, so I recently asked her the same question. Before hearing her brother's answer, she had several ideas about why she and her siblings didn't stray from the church. First, she told me that her family was the same at church as they were behind closed doors. Her dad was the same at home as he was up on stage and if the kids had been arguing in the car, they weren't expected to put on a happy face once they arrived at church. Basically, it sounds like they were allowed to be themselves and weren't expected to act a certain way just because their dad was a pastor.

She also said that she thinks all of the kids turned out the way they did because they each knew that, no matter what they did or how bad they were, their parents always loved them. She felt that she could go to them and discuss absolutely anything. She remembers talking and talking and talking things through. As kids, she said her father never spanked out of anger, but sent them to their rooms until he cooled off before giving the punishment. So by the time he explained why she was being disciplined, she said she usually understood why she was getting spanked and, even though she didn't want it, knew it was a consequence for a decision she made.

I don't know about you, but when I first heard all of that, I found it very refreshing. It seems like it would take the pressure out of being in the spotlight.

None of the parents I mentioned are perfect, but I certainly don't need to recreate the wheel when it comes to parenting. Personally, I'd rather learn from other people's mistakes and successes and adapt them to our own family, if possible.

This was way longer than I expected. I probably should have broken this into two posts, but I was on a roll and don't want to go back and fix it. For those of you who actually read till the end, hopefully I didn't bore you to death!!!

Have you gotten any amazing "how to" advice from other parents over the years?

"Lord, please change his heart. Or change mine..."

The last time I remember being on polar opposite ends of a decision with Mike was when we were engaged. He was dead-set on the mother of his children staying home to raise them, while I had just graduated college and had no intention of giving up my young career just because I birthed a couple of kids. (FYI: his mom was a SAHM during his younger years, mine was a Fortune 100 executive while I went to daycare. Not that we let our upbringing affect us or anything...)

I shared this dilemma with my Bible study friends and they suggested that I pray about it. So I prayed: "Lord, please either change his heart or change mine." If you remember from reading the whole story, my heart was changed. And I can't imagine it any other way.

Almost 11 years later, I am back to praying that same prayer.

A few weeks ago, in the heat of a huge argument minor disagreement Mike announced that he is done having kids. I was shocked that he made that decision for us...for ME...and felt like I'd been sucker punched.

To give you a quick history, our pregnancy with Jason was a surprise. I wanted one or two more babies, but Mike was still deciding. God took the reigns and made up Mike's mind for him. While I was pregnant, we discussed that if baby #3 was a girl, Mike really wanted to call our family complete. If it was a boy, he was open to having a fourth to try for another girl.

Since having Jason, whenever the conversation of baby #4 has come up (which it does because everyone asks if we're done or going to keep trying for another), Mike has always had the "if" disclaimer in there. Given how uncomfortable he is with the economy and his job security, I assumed that the "if" statements helped keep the pressure off himself. But apparently I heard "when" every time he said "if," and I'm finally realizing that in his mind, the "if" was growing smaller and smaller each time he said it out loud.

Now, this is not going to be a Mike-bashing post, but I feel led to share our situation. The problem is that there's no ability to negotiate with this topic. Either he gets his finalized family of five or we eventually try to have another baby. (or two, but I'm not pushing it...)

As an Accountant, his opinions are often shaped by the financial implications involved. Not only would having another baby cost us dearly during the pregnancy and delivery (our insurance is horrible, so we'd have to pay out of pocket) but Mike sees the long-term dollar signs as well.

Bless his heart, my sweet husband wants to make sure that we support each of our kids through college and help our daughter(s) with her wedding. When he hears, "more kids," he hears, "more cars, more tuitions, more potential weddings." He wants to give them the same opportunities his parents gave him, which were: he lived at home through college, all expenses paid, while he saved his paychecks so he could have enough money to put down on a house after graduation. I'm convinced that his lack of student loans and early real estate investment began the snowball effect for us living a debt-free lifestyle.

Then there's me. I don't worry about our future finances. I have a very freeing child-like faith that trusts that God will provide, as long as we're good stewards with the money we're given. I grew up wanting to "have a few and adopt a few." I don't know when those thoughts formulated, but it's always been my desire to have a larger family.

So we're at an impass. The initial emotion I felt after Mike made that announcement has subsided, partially because he retracted the fact that he's "done" having kids and now says that he just doesn't want to discuss it for a few years. Fine by me...my uterus has plenty of good years left! And in the meantime, I will continue to pray that God changes his heart. Er...um...OR mine. ;)

(And Kaylin is determined to keep asking God for a baby sister. Pray, girl, pray!!!)

#66 - Play in the rain with my kids

Last night was the perfect night to cross off #66 from my 101 Goals in 1001 Days list. We had a mild little monsoon after dinner, so my kids begged to put on their suits and bust out their dusty umbrellas.

I handed Mike the camera and joined them. My inner dialogue consisted of the following:

"Okay, I'm in the rain. Now what? Wait - I didn't actually DO my hair today, did I? No, I didn't. Whew!"

"Here I am. Standing around in the rain. Getting wet. Are we having fun yet?"

"Let's have a taste. Yup...it tastes like water. I just drank polluted-air water...YUM."

"Enough of this standing around. Tag - YOU'RE IT!"


"You can't catch me, little boy. My legs are longer!!!"

Sure, I can jog on a treadmill for a half an hour, but being chased by an extremely energetic six year old wore me out within minutes. That boy is FAST!

So I finally played in the rain with the kids. It was a fun Mommy memory and I think I won some cool points with the kids...

Q&A Wednesday - Kid Interview Ideas

Katie commented on the Easy School Book post saying, "I love your scrapbook idea. Would you mind sharing your Q&A ideas. Thanks for the great idea!"

The original idea for the Q&A came from a form that the pre-school had me fill out. After thoughtfully coming up with my answers, I kept a copy of the sheets, thinking that I'd get a kick out of reading them years later.

The questions the pre-school asked include:
- What are your child's favorite activities and special interests?
- What does your child like doing most outdoors? What about indoors?
- What is your child's usual attitude toward situations which separate them from you?
- What activities do you enjoy doing together as a family?
- Describe your child's most pleasing qualities...
- What characteristics do you find most frustrating to you in dealing with your child?
- What means of discipline do you find most effective?
- Does your child have any fears?
- What responsibilities does your child have at home?
- Why do you want your child attending pre-school?

Now that Ryan is in grade school, I'll probably ask him questions (instead of answering the questions about him) for the book. Things like:

- How are you feeling about starting a new school year?
- What is the most exciting thing about starting __th grade?
- Are you nervous about anything?
- Are there any familiar friends in your new class?
- What do you think you'll learn this year?
- Who is your best friend in school?

Things like that. Nothing life-changing, just things that might be interesting to look back on as he gets older.

I hope that's helpful!!!

The Bored Box {Ideas for Curing Summer Boredom}

Now that summer break is more than half over, most kids are probably running out of things to do every day. If you're committed to keeping the t.v. off, like I am, you need to have a plan when you hear your kids whine, "I'm bo-ored!"

One quick and easy way to help your kids stop complaining is to create a Bored Box.

Have the kids sit down with some notecards and write one activity on each card that they like to do. Help them come up with as many ideas as possible, writing down everything that they do on their own, with siblings, with friends and with the whole family. Think about things to do inside, outside, places to go that are nearby and some that require some planning. Put them all in there to draw from later.

Then, next time you hear, "I'm bored," direct the kids to the Bored Box.

Some ideas from our {Pre-School} Bored Box include:

- board games (not to be confused with bored games)
- puzzles
- hide and seek
- duck, duck goose
- freeze tag
- building a fort
- tea parties
- play house
- play school
- dress up
- indoor dance party (or freeze dance)
- build a race track
- color
- paint
- play doh
- Mr. Potato Head
- Princess color forms
- bake with Mom
- swim/run through the sprinklers
- sidewalk chalk
- blow bubbles
- jumping rope
- hoola hoops
- sidewalk painting with water (all you need is a bucket and a brush)
- go to the park
- feed the ducks at a nearby pond
- ride bikes
- kick around the soccer ball
- play at the mall play place
- visit the animals at the pet store

My type-A personality wants to take it a step further and separate the ideas into categories like "rainy day activities," "backyard activites," things like that...but I haven't done that. Yet. Actually, I guess I did that when I wrote the all-inclusive Pre-school Activities post, when I was anticipating Jason's arrival. Check that out for even more tv-free fun.

Another idea is to scour the clearance bins at craft stores. This is something I just started doing. I'm going to keep a stash of craft kits available for "rainy day" activities.

I recently found a set of two ceramic figurines with paint and a brush for $.49. I picked up a couple of them (I wish I would have grabbed more) and they occupied my kids for over an hour last week.


What are some things that would be in your Bored Box???

#1, #2, #62, #64 + Household Cleaners Recipes

Here are a few new items checked off my 101 Goals in 1001 Days list...

#1 - Wake up at 6am every day for 30 days in a row. This happened back in May, but I'm just blogging about it now. It felt SO GOOD getting up before the kids, reading my Bible, often working out and/or showering, cleaning the kitchen, etc. It was easy to do this challenge as the sun started rising earlier in the morning. Now that it's light around 4:30-5am, I've re-learned how to sleep in a fully lit room. ;)

#2 - Create a realistic housekeeping plan and follow it for 1 month. Every Saturday, I've continued to set my timer for an hour and have everyone help cross things off the household to-do list. I wrote more about it back in May, but it's continuing to work beautifully. Our weekends finally feel productive and relaxing!

I know this seems over-the-top, but I made a checklist for the fridge to make sure we're cleaning certain parts of the house regularly. Everything doesn't need to be done every week or even every other week, but it's been interesting to see the things I naturally procrastinate. Some weeks, I look at the list and prioritize what we focus on for the hour, based on what's been neglected.


#62 - Do a cleanse. I saw a coupon in the paper for $5 off a 14-day Jillian Michael's cleanse. And yes, I tried it. I have heard tons of disgusting stories of things that...um...exited people's bodies during their cleanse experience, so I was interested to see what would happen to me. I must eat too healthy and not have enough garbage backed up inside, because nothing out of the ordinary happened. I was more gassy than normal for those two weeks, but I didn't lose a single pound. Maybe I did something wrong - ? The box promised a 30-day, money-back guarantee, so I'm taking the package back to CVS for a refund.

#64 - Start using 100% homemade household cleaners. I listed all of my recipes in this post, but below are a few of them for quick reference. (I put the recipes on each squirt bottle with a Sharpie marker so I can refill them easily. This cute, crafty bottle below was a gift from a friend who gave me the recipe.)



All-Purpose Cleaner
1 teaspoon Borax (in the laundry soap aisle)
2 Tablespoons white vinegar
1 Tablespoon dish soap
2 cups water
2-3 drops essential oil (I use peppermint...a little goes a long way)

Glass Cleaner
2 cups water
1/2 cup white or cider vinegar
1/4 cup rubbing alcohol
1 to 2 drops of essential oil (optional)

Toilet Cleaner
Add 1 cup baking soda to the toilet, leave for one hour, then flush. It will clean the toilet and absorb the odor.

Oven Cleaner (inside)
4 Tablespoons baking soda
1 quart warm water

Fabric Softener (washing machine)
1/2 cup white vinegar added at the beginning of the wash cycle reduces static cling and soften clothes.

Fruit/Veggie Wash*
1 cup water
1 cup white vinegar
1 Tablespoon baking soda
20 drops grapefruit seed extract (ask at your local health food store)

Directions: Spray on the produce and allow to sit for 5-10 minutes. Rinse clean.
*WARNING! Combine these ingredients in a larger-than-you-need bowl, then pour it into your squirt bottle with a funnel. The white vinegar and baking soda cause a pretty cool, but incredibly messy chemical reaction if you mix it directly in the squirt bottle. Fizz. Everywhere. Ask me how I know.

Does anyone else have any go-to recipes for homemade cleaners???

How I Got My Babies to Sleep Through the Night

During a swim date with my neighbor last week, she mentioned that a recent vacation had messed up her baby's nighttime sleep schedule. What's worse is that he suddenly wasn't napping anymore. At five months old. She was just weeks away from returning to work as a teacher and was feeling pretty stuck.

My advice to her was to focus on the naps. From everything I've read (and my own experience with three babies), each child should be able to sleep 11-12 straight hours by 6 months of age, if not sooner. Now, please don't start throwing rotten tomatoes at me if your two year old still wakes up crying in the middle of the night, but I stand behind this theory.

Here's why.

By six months of age, they physically no longer need to eat in the middle of the night. (unless your doctor recommends it for your underweight baby) If your baby knows how to put themselves back to sleep (without your help) during the day, they will be able to do the same at night. If they don't do it during the day, they probably won't sleep well at night...no matter how tired they are.

It's all about sleep associations.

Some babies have a pacifier, others have a blanket or a stuffed animal, but too many kids have the unwanted sleep association of MOM. Rocking, bouncing, singing or nursing back to sleep. If you don't mind "helping" your baby back to sleep, more power to you...I'm not here to judge. But if you want a little freedom and you're ready for your baby to be more independent when it's time for them to rest, they need a new sleep association that doesn't involve an adult.

(Updated: one sleep association that I forgot to mention is singing. I have sung the same song to each of my kids, probably until they were 2-3 years old, before bedtime and every nap. Maybe that's how "Rock-a-bye Baby" got it's fame! As I was singing to Jason the other day, it occurred to me how huge that sleep association has been for me. So, for those of you who read my post and are trying to figure out how to get your own babies to sleep well, whether you rock them to sleep or lay them down awake and drowsy, try picking a special song to sing to them each time!)

This picture (below) was taken of Jason in March. He was lying on a blanket on the floor, fussing. It was just a few minutes before I was going to load him into his car seat (where I knew he would fall asleep on the way to our destination), so I gave him his pacifier and blanket to keep him quiet until I was ready to leave.



Within seconds, he had snuggled the blanket to his face and his eyes were falling closed. In the middle of the family room carpet, surrounded by the loud chaos of the kids playing and me barking at Mike to load this and that into the van. (just bein' real...) It was not an ideal sleeping environment.

Yet, because he had his blanket and pacifier, he knew it was time to sleep.

My personal opinion about sleep associations is that they work best if they're given only when it's time to sleep and every time it's time to sleep. Often, the best sleepers are thumb suckers because their thumb is always attached. My oldest two found their thumbs around 3-4 months old, but with Jason, I forced a pacifier on him. (because it took so long to break Ryan of the habit) If you don't have a thumb sucker, try offering something else during naps and at night.

In addition to associating a particular object with sleep for your child, I'm also on the "cry it out" bandwagon. I know it's not for everyone, but if you rush in to comfort your child every time they make a peep, they will inevitably have trouble falling back to sleep on their own.

Those of us who do choose to let our babies cry it out know that, when done correctly, it only lasts a few days. We're viewed as heartless monsters, yet once the work is done, most babies fall asleep quietly and even wake up quietly 99% of the time for years to come.

I'm an avid Baby Wise fan, so if you need more structured ideas of why and how to let your baby cry (without feeling like a neglectful parent) then pick up a copy of Baby Wise and read, read, read. I'm not going to get into all of the details here.

I will say this one thing: if your emotions tell you to go in and pat the baby's tummy to let them know you're still there, do it. But if you've met all of their physical needs (they're fed, have a clean diaper and aren't too hot/cold) and they've been awake for any length of time over an hour or two (more for toddlers) then they're tired. They're crying because they're tired.

Most babies aren't wired to only cry when there's something wrong. Sometimes they just cry because they're babies. Babies cry. That's what they do. I had colic as a baby and cried for hours every day, despite my mom's attempts to calm me. I didn't cry...rumor has it that I screamed. And not just for a few days...for weeks and weeks. But I don't have any emotional childhood scars! I turned out fine. Just sayin'.

If you let your babies cry it out at a young age, the "what if's" are significantly reduced. You know they aren't teething and you can eliminate most of the other 100 things that run through your head when determining why they're crying. The older they get, the stronger their will.

And if you wait until they're over 8-9 months...then you have a baby who can stand in the crib while they're crying. It's much easier to cry yourself to sleep when you're laying down than when you're standing up, wouldn't you say?

Please understand that letting your baby cry it out isn't easy. It wasn't easy for me as a mom, for any of my kids. In fact, just a few months ago, when venting to a girlfriend about Jason waking at 5am every day, she suggested I move him downstairs to the playroom. I was so concerned about him waking up the rest of the house that I'd go in to shush him or pick him up, which accidentally started his day. By moving him downstairs, the crying didn't seem as loud and within two mornings, he began sleeping until 7am, cooing and playing until I go in to bring him to the breakfast table.

If you're mentally arguing with me about letting your baby cry it out, focus on finding a sleep association for them instead. A small stuffed animal, a blanket, something that they can identify as "looks like it's time for me to fall asleep now." And remember: they might have this for several years, so pick something durable that could even be replaced if lost.

Whatever you choose to do, be consistent. Try one thing for a week or two and if it doesn't work, try something new. But know that a well-rested child isn't the result of luck. Most parents of "good sleepers" found tricks that worked for their kids. And I'd venture to guess that few of them were quick, easy solutions.

Stick with it, whatever "it" is and "it" will eventually all work out. Sweet dreams!

My Price List for Groceries

I've heard a frugal general rule of budgeting $25 per person per week for groceries. Our monthly grocery budget is $500, but I can usually keep it closer to $400, even with the higher cost of organic foods, formula and diapers.

When I ran across this blog post from a mother of three teens who spends $300/month on groceries, I was intrigued. One of her suggestions was to make a price list for the groceries that you purchase most often.



So I began putting together a price list. Some of these prices I've kept in my head, but now that I've switched to organic milk and grass fed beef, I've started losing my confidence that I am getting a good deal.

Instead of sticking one price to each item, I wrote down "good, better and best." The "best" price is produce in it's peak season, baking goods at Christmas, free condiments (after coupons) around BBQ time, things like that. The "better" price is the best price I can get using coupons during a sale in the off-peak time and the "good" price is a decent sale price without a coupon.

My price list includes all of my kitchen staples: what I keep on hand in my pantry, fridge and freezer. I'm not going to share my whole list, partly because it's huge and you might make fun of me, but mostly because prices vary so much from region to region. But I will share a few things:

My main staples include the following "best" prices:
- whole grain bread ($2/loaf through my co-op)
- organic milk ($2.50/half gallon)
- hormone-free eggs ($1.50/dozen)
- natural chicken ($1.97/lb)
- ground turkey ($3/lb)
- grass fed ground beef ($3.99/lb)
- grass fed steak ($4.99/lb)
- wild Alaskan salmon ($8.99/lb)
- natural peanut butter ($.13/oz)
- unbleached flour ($1/5lb bag)
- whole wheat flour ($2.50/5lb bag)
- white sugar ($1.50/5lb bag)
- brown and powdered sugar ($1/bag)
- Nestle chocolate chips ($1/bag)
- oats ($.50/lb)
- dried beans ($1/lb)
- apples ($1/lb)

Some of the things I don't pay for (because they're available for free after sales and coupons) are:
- pasta
- bottled salad dressing
- bottled marinades
- mustard
- frozen vegetables (specifically Steamers)
- liquid hand soap
- toothpaste
- deodorant
- paper towels
- most cereals (can usually get for less than $.50/box, Kashi for $1/box)
- fresh pineapple (in season, it goes on sale for $1 and Del Monte often has coupons)
- bagged lettuce (same as pineapple - Dole and Fresh Express coupons make them free)

For those of you who belong to Costco or another warehouse club, don't be tricked into believing that their bulk-price is the best you can find. Especially if you shop the sales and clip coupons.

A few items that I buy at Costco (because they are priced ridiculously low*) are:
- pure vanilla extract ($3.50/16 oz)
- yeast ($3.24/2 lbs)
- baby formula ($16.49/36oz)
- natural peanut butter ($7.59/56 oz)
- raw, whole almonds ($9.69/3 lbs)
- bottles of water ($3.45/30 bottles)
- trash bags ($12.49/200 tall kitchen bags)
- pesto ($7.79/24? oz)
- feta cheese (can't remember, but it's cheap)
- hummus ($6/32 oz.)
- deli turkey slices ($3.85/lb)
- bananas ($.33/lb)
*Keep in mind, prices vary by region.

What are some of the price points where you live?

Serving Others with a Happy Heart

Now that my kids are getting older (and more capable), we've started requiring that they help more around the house. At 6 and almost 4 years old, they're still in the stage where they usually love to help, but playing is always more fun that working, so we definitely get resistance now and then.

I recently wrote about our family chores and how I set the timer for an hour every Saturday morning to cross as much off the to-do list as possible, expecting everyone to participate. That is still going VERY well, by the way. I love the momentum of everyone scurrying around doing their tasks and Mike loves that after an hour, we're done. Sometimes we finish up for 30 minutes on Sunday, but it's short and sweet, then it's over and we can all relax and play.

One of our house rules is to "look for ways to serve others with a happy heart." This rule is not only to do things for others with a happy heart, but to LOOK for ways to serve others. For now, I'm going to write about the last half of the statement.

I use the term "happy heart" a lot in our house. If the kids have a bad attitude, they are asked to go to their room and not come out until they have a happy heart. They've come to understand what that means.

Sometimes they emerge pouting or with a scowl on their face, but I make them go back to their rooms if they can't SHOW me their happy heart. All they have to do is smile, but a fake smile usually turns into a blushing smile which often turns into giggling, which results in...you guessed it! A happy heart. As long as that goal is achieved, I don't care how they get there.

I'm assuming that Mike and I will experience the joy of bad attitudes as a result of hormones in the years to come, but while I still have an element of control over these kids, I'm determined to teach them that there are times when you need to bite your tongue and have a good attitude.

We're currently focusing on doing things that are asked of them (chores and other small tasks) with a good attitude and a happy heart. Sound impossible? It's not. Here are some things that set them up for success:

- As parents, we need to have a good attitude when we are asked to do something for someone else.

- As parents, we need to be aware of our body language when we're asked to do something. If I sigh or roll my eyes or make excuses why I can't do a task, that's what my kids do. They're constantly watching.

- As parents, we need to be good examples in the way we respond verbally. Personally, I try to say, "Sure!" or some other cheerful response instead of, "I guess," or "I'll get to it later." If you're not a naturally chipper person, fake it. "Fake it 'til you make it," I always say.

- Set the expectation early. If you want to set a new tone for chores in your house, sit the kids down and explain that "no" and "I don't want to" will not be acceptable answers anymore. Whenever there's a rule change in the family, everyone deserves to know what's going on; even the little ones.

- Decide on consequences and rewards ahead of time. Explain that there will be a consequence if they are rude or disrespectful and a reward if they respond positively. The rewards don't need to continue forever, but while everyone's getting used to the change, give lots of praise and positive reinforcement. Spontaneously reward them for doing things the right way, even pointing out their good example to other family members. (without rubbing it in others' faces)

- Be patient when they cop an attitude - because they will. Understand that it takes time to change bad habits and that everything won't be different overnight. It takes 30 days to make a new habit, so stick with it for the long haul.

- Start slow. Keep the end goal in mind, but accept small progresses along the way. At first, accept that the chore is getting done with a bad attitude, as long as it's getting done when you ask. Then get the kids in the habit of doing what you ask of them agreeably, focusing on their heart attitude toward your request.

- When they mess up, respond unemotionally, but immediately. By "emotionally" I mean avoid getting angry or personally offended that they're being disrespectful. For example, "Please unload the dishwasher" might be met with, "...but I'm playing right now." My response tends to be (with an "I don't think so" tone), "Try again," giving the kids a reminder to answer me differently. If they don't respond positively with a good attitude, they go to their room until they have a happy heart and a willingness (even if it's forced, at first) to help.

- Be consistent. Don't allow yourself to get distracted (or lazy about it) and let bad attitudes slide. If you want them to have a good attitude most of the time, expect it all of the time. We all have our bad days, but our homes would be so much more pleasant if we each sucked it up and put on a happy face for the people we love most.

- Serve others outside your home. Volunteer your time as a family. There are ways to get involved at church, in your local schools, in your neighborhood and in your community. It feels good to help others and it gets the focus off of ourselves. Plus, when your kids have spent time cleaning up a local park, wiping down the kitchen table after dinner will seem like a piece of cake!

- Point out how good it feels to help. In addition to telling your kids that they did a good job, direct them to the positive sensation they're feeling inside. Say, "Aren't you proud of yourself for doing that? It was a big job...how does that make you feel?" It won't take long for them to realize that serving others without expecting anything in return has it's own rewards.

By the age of two, I believe all kids should be helping around the house. It's not the 1950s anymore. The wife is no longer expected to float around the house "doing it all" in a skirt, apron and pearls while the kids are clueless about what it takes to run a household.

I whole-heartedly believe that when everyone in the house {cheerfully} contributes, children become more productive, less self-absorbed adults. As a parent, you're not doing anyone any favors by doing it all yourself. Be conscious of the fact that you might be creating little diva daughters or sons who won't lift a finger to help their future wives.

Even if your spouse isn't on board with the idea of "serving others with a happy heart," the change can start with you. It will take longer if you're doing it alone, but it is entirely possible to transform your kids from selfish into selfless.

I'm obviously just a mom, not an expert, but these are the things that work for our family. Does anyone have any additional tips?

Scripture Memory for Young Kids

Last summer, Mike and I volunteered in Ryan's Kindergarten class at church and I was amazed at how quickly those kids learned the monthly scripture memory verse. Even long ones like, "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another; forgive as the Lord forgave you." {Colossians 3:13} and "Now faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see." {Hebrews 11:1}

I wrote out a few verses on note cards that I wanted Ryan to learn and, sure enough, he memorized them in a matter of days. What's funny is that Kaylin (two years old then) learned them by accident, too, just from hearing me review them with Ryan. Not to mention the fact that I learn along with the kids - and I've never been good at memorizing anything past song lyrics!



Through the school year, the verses were forgotten because I unintentionally refocused my energy on sight word flash cards and school work. But a few weeks ago, I tacked on the scripture memory verses to our daily Bible lesson and my little sponges are reciting the Bible once again.

Here are the passages that they know or are learning:

Do everything without complaining or arguing.
~ Philippians 2:14

The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in men that are truthful.
~ Proverbs 12:22

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourselves.
~ Philippians 2:3

God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer.
~ Proverbs 66:19

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
~ Ephesians 6:1

The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid.
~ Hebrews 13:6

Do to others as you would have them do to you.
~ Luke 6:31

The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
~ James 5:16

Love the Lord with all your heart.
~ Psalm 3:5

The verbiege of some of these passages is pretty far above their level, but it gives me a great opportunity to explain concepts like detest, selfish ambition, humility, effective and righteous. And if I see an area that I'd like to focus on with the kids, I look up a teachable scripture verse and add it to our stack of note cards. (you can see the themes above that we've attempted to tackle: lying, selfishness, complaining, arguing, fear, the power of prayer, helpfulness, obedience, etc.)

The other day, Kaylin said something nasty to Ryan and he walked over to me and quietly said, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger." {Proverbs 15:1} I bit my lip and fought back tears of pride before finally mumbling, "That's right, buddy."

I know everyone has their own teaching style, but what works best for us is for the kids to repeat me as I break down the verse into chunks.

Luke 6:31...Luke 6:31
Do to others...Do to others
as you would have them...as you would have them
do to you...do to you
Luke 6:31...Luke 6:31

Repeat that a few times for a couple of days, then give them the opportunity to say the verse after you quote the address. Sometimes I need to help them with the first word or two, but soon they can say the whole sentence on their own.

Happy memorizing!!!

Reverse Stalker

It's 11pm and I can't sleep. I could do a miriad of things, productive things, relaxing things, but instead I'm on the computer, surrounded by piles of things that could should be put away, but I'm doing a bunch of nothing.

Wanna know what I just spent the last half hour doing? Reverse stalking some of YOU. I looked over at my list of followers on my sidebar and realized the number has jumped since I last noticed. I clicked on some of your pretty little faces and read some of your witty posts and left quietly without leaving a comment, just like you! It's a shock, I realize, but I can keep my big mouth to myself sometimes...

I even ran across a Latina follower whose blog is all in Espanol. Can I tell you how awesome I felt to understand at LEAST 30% of it? Maybe more. Not bad, considering I took six years of Spanish from 8th grade all the way through college. What a waste of perfectly good tax dollars! So whoever you are, your blog looks amazing. Cooking and organizing in Spanish...it doesn't get much cooler than that.

When my blog began reaching random little corners of the world, I would peek at the FeedJit list on the sidebar and wonder who was reading my thoughts. My best friend labeled me a reverse stalker when I asked if I should be concerned that people from random towns in remote parts of the world were returning to my blog regularly. I still wonder if there are creepy old men peering at pictures of my kids, but it appears most of you are fellow wives and mothers who just like reading about my ideas.

And I am humbled.

Feel free to leave a comment and say, "Hi" once in a while!

I'm still here!

Sorry for my lack of posts lately. It's a good thing this giveaway series is going on or no one would be visiting my dusty, neglected blog!

Truth is: I haven't been on the computer much these days. I've committed to staying away from the computer while the kids are awake and I'm kind of enjoying the sabbatical.

If you want to see snippits of my daily life, don't forget to check my POD {picture of the day} blog. I update that weekly.

I hope my American readers had a great holiday weekend. We enjoyed having Daddy home for three days and crammed in lots of work and lots of play.

Don't give up on me! I'll be back in my regular writing-once-a-day mode soon enough.