#14, #22 and #54...again

My poor 101 Goals in 1001 Days list has been badly neglected in the last few months.  But I am happy to report that, as of this weekend, I can finally cross off something new and cross off another as a repeat.

#14 Open savings accounts for the kids - Why this took us more than two years is beyond me!  But it's officially done and the kids are thrilled.  Both kids deposited $2 from their piggy banks today and were proud to record the deposits in their new bank registers.  The apples don't fall far from the tree, do they?

#22 Develop a workable system for paperwork in the office - Ever since I "spring cleaned" my office, my paperwork has been completely under control.  I take care of papers every night or so, filing them or putting them where they belong.  Everything else is recycled or shredded.  Love it.

#54 Allow the kids to have dessert before dinner - When I originally crossed this off my list, I kind of cheated.  Instead of having dessert before dinner, we ate s'mores FOR dinner.  But last night, we officially had dessert before dinner.  A Facebook friend (who is a photographer) was looking for the opportunity to shoot some "lifestyle photos" and you know I jumped at the opportunity.  All of our professional pictures have been virtually free, since I love volunteering to model for someone with a specific need or a newbie who needs practice or who wants to develop their portfolio.

The "lifestyle" setting we chose was to bake in the kitchen.  I'm getting a few prints out of the deal, not rights to all of the pictures, so we'll see if I will be able to ever post the results of the photo shoot (which I expect will be amazing, as all of her photos tend to be) BUT...long story longer...we did the photos at 4pm, ate the products of our labor, then sat down to meatloaf, green beans and mashed potatoes.  Somehow, after 2-3 M&M chocolate chip cookies each, everyone still ate a decent dinner.  Except Mike, who had more like 10 cookies...he couldn't stomach any more carbs, so he passed on the potatoes. 

Okay, so I'm very excited to share a new project with you, but it won't be done until later this year.  I've decided to make a 101 in 1001 scrapbook and it is going to be AWESOME.  I'm thinking 6x6, text on pictures, mounted to thick card stock...I wish it was done right now!!!  So, for my crafty readers...something for you to look forward to!  I've already started a little sub-folder of the pictures I've used for my blog updates.  Yay!

Easy "Almost Whole Wheat" Crepes

4 beaten eggs
3 cups milk
.5 cup whole wheat flour
1.5 cup flour
2 Tbsp canola oil
.25 tsp salt

Whisk all ingredients together well.  Heat 1-2 lightly greased skillets (6-inch work best).  Pour 1/4 cup batter into each skillet, tilting the skillet to spread the batter into a circle.  Cook until the edges are set and the middle is mostly cooked.  Flip and cook 30-45 seconds\ longer.  Crepes stack well and usually keep warm. 

Fill with fresh fruit, chocolate chips, butter and powdered sugar, honey, Nutella...the options are endless.

Yields 18-20 crepes.  And yes, my family eats all of them and still asks for more.  We're pigs!

More Privileges = More Responsibilities

Last year, we began a new birthday tradition: On the morning of their birthday, the birthday kid is presented with an envelope, which contains 1 new privilege and 1 new responsibility.

When Ryan turned six, we began giving him $1/week allowance.  His new responsibility was to tidy the bathroom each night and clean the mirror and sink thoroughly on Saturdays.  He gladly took on the new chore since it was accompanied by a new allowance!

This year, Mike didn't feel that it was appropriate to give him more allowance, since he hardly spends what he has as it is now.  He suggested pushing his bedtime back by 30 minutes. 

Ryan was thrilled.  THRILLED.  Especially since he's had the same bedtime as his baby sister his whole life.  (granted, she still naps every other day or so, but still)  This was a bit of a bitter pill for Kaylin to swallow, but she is only four years old, after all.  I settled on the fact that on the days that she actually sleeps during her quiet time, she can go to bed at the same time as Ryan, but if she doesn't nap, she goes to bed at her normal bedtime.  This will keep her from coming out of her room a dozen times on the days she sleeps.  Yay for a win:win!

The new responsibility we gave Ryan this year was to load the dishwasher.  He's been unloading it for some time now, so he knows where things go to make this "puzzle" of a task fit the most dishes possible.  Plus, he's finally tall enough to reach inside the sink without a step stool. 

When he saw his new chore, he blushed as he said, "Oh, alright...!"  I could tell that he wanted to seem annoyed, but was excited.  This kid loves responsibilities.  So, from now on, he'll load the breakfast and lunch dishes and Mike will continue to do dinner. I think I'll give Kaylin the new responsibility of unloading the whole dishwasher (not just the silverware) on her upcoming 5th birthday.  That will give Ryan a bit of a break from constant dishes.

Hmmm...I might be on to something: At this rate, by the time the kids are in high school, I won't have to lift a finger around here!  HA!

A successful day...finally.

First of all, thank you for all of your sweet words about my pycho-mom post last night.  I don't know what my problem was that day, but at 8:00, I went on an hour-long walk with a girlfriend and sorted it all out in my head.  Sometimes, verbally vomiting all over another mom can make everything a little bit better, with glimmers of hope on the horizon.

So today was better.  I woke up groggy...again...but vowed to be intentional about my reactions throughout the day.  After Ryan helped me make eggs and toast for breakfast, we headed out to the health food store.

On the way, we had one incident where I had to remind the kids that my patience is thin this week and that they need to get along, but all was fine after that.  (This was triggered when I overheard, "Don't even think about it, Ryan..." with a response of "Oh, I'm thinking about it!"  My kids love to hate each other sometimes.)

Before unloading from the van, I remembered the "good mom" from Trader Joe's earlier this week.  I decided to take a page from her book and keep the little kids in my cart while Ryan pushed a separate cart with the food.  I explained to the kids what they should expect and everyone was on board.

Kaylin asked for a copy of the sale flyer and a pen and "helped" by circling the items she thought we should buy, Jason crumpled and threw held my grocery list for me, and Ryan was thrilled beyond words to help with the actual shopping.  He wrote out the little tags for the open-bin products as I bagged them, he thoughtfully decided where each item should be placed in the cart, he carefully chose apples and peaches without blemishes on them...he truly is such a mini-me sometimes.

The harmony in this grocery experience was just beautiful.  The kids still jabbered and asked a million questions, but I didn't have to remind my curious little people to keep their hands to themselves, which is always frustrating. This might be how I grocery shop this summer, now that Ryan's out of school for a few months.

We had a snack when we got home, then I sent the kids outside in the backyard to play while I put the groceries away.  They got along just fine; no fights, screaming or tantrums.  I didn't hear Kaylin whine, "Ryan-nuh" even once. (that's my newest pet peeve...Kaylin adding, "uh" to the end of words when she's annoyed: "Stoooo-puh" or "Noooo-wuh" - drives me nuts)

(unfinished, published 2/28/16)

Our "You're Being Crazy and Need a Time Out" Signal

A few months ago, a dear friend from Kansas City came to visit her mom, and stopped by for a day to catch up.  She was my high school Bible study leader and has been such a mentor to me for the last two decades. I hadn't seen her in years, but we picked right up where we left off.

Since she's 10 years my senior with three a.maz.ing. older kids, I picked her wise brain apart for her thoughts on marriage, parenting, and life.  One of her tips has been particularly helpful this week and I don't think I've shared it with you yet.

She and I have very similar personalities, so she knew she was preaching to the choir on particular issues.  Like when we discussed perfectionism and the false image we have in our heads of the type of person we should be.  I feel like I've come so, so far in this area in recent years, but I do still struggle. 

For example, we laughed about how ridiculous we can get before we entertain or have people over: my tendency is to become a whirlwind (she used the term "tornado" which is right on) - I get very task-oriented, am sometimes short with people around me and I become overly focused on things looking the way I've predetermined they should be.

In moments like these, my friend's family created a non-verbal signal that they do to remind each other to either calm down and take a deep breath or take a time out and remove themselves from the situation.  After throwing around some ideas of which signal to use, her daughter came up with interlocked thumbs with waving fingers...like an eagle.  They call it the "fly away."

That night at dinner, I talked to my own family about creating a similar signal, explaining that the kids have permission to use it when Mommy or Daddy gets out of control and need to cool off.  Ryan liked the idea of  a time-out signal, like in sports.  Kaylin suggested making a cross with two fingers.  Somehow, we settled on making an X with two fingers. 

At first, it didn't work.  The kids flashed the signal to me and Mike in the heat of the moment and they ended up getting in trouble for it.  They quickly learned not to trust that they were allowed to hold us accountable for being calm.  We've tried it on and off since February, but it's never really stuck.

Then this week, Mommy started getting a little bit snippy.  Cranky.  Short tempered.  Impatient.  I blame it on lack of sleep because of some hip pain I have, but really, there's no excuse. I felt horrible for snapping at the kids so often and found myself apologizing to them...a lot.

I reminded Ryan of the magic X signal and he's been using it appropriately.  When he does the X, it's my cue to either walk away and take a few deep breaths or remove myself completely and take a Mommy time out.

Today was a tough day.  (Ryan used the magic X a lot, reminding me to tell my blog friends about it.) I didn't sleep well last night and the kids were fighting like cats and dogs.  I lost it today.  Repeatedly.  No one's winning any "Mom of the Year" awards in our house, that's for sure. 

And isn't it appropriate that as I was typing this post Kaylin brought me a note.  The boys were in the play room and Kaylin asked to be alone in her room (after I'd yelled at her for being snotty to Ryan by not taking the markers upstairs like he asked, resulting in Jason coloring on the stairs) so I decided to open the laptop in the kitchen and begin writing this post. 

Kaylin, at not even five years old, has never sounded out so many words in her life.  And she's never written a note to me that wasn't accompanied by a picture.

Anyway, this was her note. It reads: "Kaylin. Sorry, I want Dad. I want to be by myself. (she spelled it "bimisaf") Nobody in my room except Dad." 

I was so saddened at her desire to shut me out of her personal space that I barely had time to be proud of the fact that I could actually read and figure out what was on the note for the first time ever.

I feel like a schmuck.

The good news is that this loud parenting style was my primary method of communication a few years ago.  But now, it is very rare.  I have made a conscious decision to stop yelling and to create a more peaceful household for my family.  So now, the fact that my voice is slightly hoarse is beyond just a little embarrassing.  I'm ashamed of how I acted today, regardless of my circumstances and regardless of whether the kids were behaving or not.

I need a "redo" button.  Or maybe a giant X in front of my face all the time!

Do I measure up, as a mom?

(this photo was taken March of 2010 - they were so little back then)

I went to Trader Joe's today with all three kids in tow. I love that they have little shopping carts for my children to "help" - we usually go over the rules in the parking lot before entering the store.  "No running down the aisles, stay near me, ask permission before you put something in your cart, no racing, no ramming your cart into my heels or the heels of anyone else, be aware of other shoppers trying to walk around you..." blah, blah, blah.  I'm surprised they think it's fun anymore after my laundry list of do's and don'ts.

The store seemed busy today, but the kids were still very well behaved.  Hyper, finding ways to entertain themselves (that sometimes got in others' way or caused a scene by banging their carts into each other) but overall, the trip was a success in my book.

Then I noticed another mom with kids.  Five of them.  A baby in the front of the cart, a toddler boy inside the bed of the cart, two girls (4 and 6 years old, maybe) holding onto the sides of the cart and an older daughter (maybe 8?) pushing the cart containing all of the food. 

And I thought my kids were well behaved?  Wow.  These five children were like perfect little angels.  I don't think any of them spoke, not even the baby.  They were calm and pleasant and mild mannered.  The boy in the cart was a little antsy, but even he was a compliant little gentleman.  I suddenly noticed that I was comparing myself.

Jason sat still in the front of the cart, but often turned around to grab a grocery item to hold, shake or threaten to throw.  Ryan asked a million questions and made a million observations...chattering constantly.  Kaylin wanted Ryan's attention and was doing everything possible to get it by giggling, making funny noises and calling his name a little louder than I would have liked.  My children seemed like trained monkeys in comparison to this lady's kids.

I was dying to say something to her.  "Your children are amazing," or "What's your secret?" or "You homeschool, don't you?"  But I said nothing.  I found myself justifying that she had mostly girls.  Or that she and her husband weren't big talkers.  Or that she secretly beats them into submission and the poor kids were scared to speak. I'm positive it wasn't that last one...she looked like a lovely woman who just does something different and better to parent her kids.  And I was very, very jealous.

As I drove away from the store, I wished I could be a fly on the wall of her kitchen.  What does she say and do differently than how I run my home?  What are her household rules?  What are her family convictions?  What do I need to do to get kids like that?!?!

Then I snapped back into reality and eavesdropped on the backseat of my own van.  Kaylin was giggling wildly, Jason chanted, "Tan-too" for the sticker Ryan shared with him, Ryan offered to help unload the groceries when we got home...

And I realized that I need to shut up and count my blessings.

THAT expains it!!!

I have this conversation with people all the time...I had this conversation just last night.  No joke!

Why do so many people have food allergies these days?  What on Earth are the farmers doing to that dumb peanut to create such a panic in someone who is highly allergic, that they can't so much as go onto an airplane if there are peanut oils in the air? Or did you hear about the teen who died after kissing her boyfriend because he ate a peanut butter snack?!?! 

Does this concern anyone else?

I feel like I'm constantly saying, "It just wasn't like this when we were kids..." and I'm not that old.

Well, I stumbled upon this video.  It doesn't explain the peanut allergy, but she touches on several other (suddenly) major food allergies that many people that we know and love struggle with every day.

If you live in the U.S., you have to watch this.  It's 18 minutes long, but SO worth your time.

Seriously, wow.

Meal Plan 6/13/11

Oh meal planning, how I have missed you...

Monday - Chicken Pesto Pizza with salad
Tuesday - Seasoned Grilled Chicken* with Zucchini Fritters*
Wednesday - Chili with Whole Wheat Cornbread
Thursday - Ryan's 7th birthday party!!!
Friday - Baked potato bar with broccoli, cheese and leftover chili
Saturday - Artichoke and Zucchini Quiche*
Sunday - Father's Day!  BBQ ribs, corn on the cob, Roasted Potatoes* and Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Frosting for dessert

* These are new Tastefully Simple recipes...I'm sure they can be adapted for those who don't have the required T.S. ingredients!

...because the stomach flu and chicken pox weren't exciting enough.

This week has been exhausting.  We have spent more time in waiting rooms than we've spent in the last year!  And let me tell you...Jason is so over it.  I can almost see it in his eyes: "Look, lady - I was well behaved on Tuesday, I was charming on Wednesday, but this is Thursday.  And I am officially done with doctor's offices."

Let me back up.  On Friday, I got a knock on the door at 4pm.  A sweet neighbor came by to tell me that our grocery store had purchased too many packages of chicken breasts and they were on sale for $.39 a pound.  So I told everyone to put on flip flops and jump in the van, but Kaylin asked if she could wear her new clogs.  I should have said, "no."

On the way out of the store, as we crossed the parking lot, Kaylin tripped and fell flat on her face. Well, not her face...she braced the fall with her hand, but you get the picture.  My little drama queen began screaming like a banshee.  I scooped her up and rushed her home, all while she continued to wail in pain.

I thought enough to glance at the clock; it was 4:45 and the pediatrician had just closed.  So I took matters into my own hands: I iced her wrist, gave her Tylenol and tried to make her comfortable.  I assumed she was bruised and would heal over the weekend without a trip to the ER.

Saturday and Sunday, she was still complaining and barely using her arm.  She ate with her left hand and moaned when she had to go to the bathroom or get dressed.

By Monday, I realized that I should finally call the doctor.

They got us in for an appointment on Tuesday and recommended that she get x-rays...stat.  It was very official and very urgent.  The order even said, "Stat" on it in huge letters...I felt very important. Thankfully, the walk-in radiologist was empty when we arrived, so my rowdy bunch didn't disrupt the masses. 

We waited all day to find out that the films were hard to read and that she needed more pictures taken.    "Can you go back for more x-rays?  It will be free of charge."  (*sigh*) "Sure," I thought, "But the office is 30 minutes away and I have a two-hour hair appointment tomorrow where all of my kids were taken care of, not to mention I have to drop Ryan off and pick him up from Vacation Bible School."   The hair girl, babysitter, radiologist and VBS were in a zillion different directions from each other.  This was all becoming very inconvenient...

I decided to be selfish and take the big kids to VBS in the morning and bring Jason to the babysitter while I went to get my hair done.  Seriously, though...you know how hard it is to reschedule hair appointments and have all of your kids cared for in the middle of summer, right?  Besides, it was only a few hours.  Hey, don't judge me...I have put everyone else first for weeks since the arrival of our first chicken pock!

(Wow, defensive much...?)

Anyway, after I was all prettied up, I picked the kids up from VBS early, grabbed Jason from the sitter and hauled us all down to the radiologist.  Again.  The waiting room was PACKED, but they took us right back for more pictures of Kaylin's arm. After Jason went around to all of the elderly patients, saying, "Hi!" and asking for high fives, of course.  He was being a crack up and was the hit of the office.  The process still took 45 minutes and Jason didn't go down for his 12:00 nap until almost 2pm.  But he was a trooper.

Then late yesterday afternoon, we got the news that yes, Kaylin does have a fracture in the radial head.  (read: elbow area)  I called  to make an appointment at Phoenix Children's Hospital to go see an Orthopedist about whether she'd need a cast.  The monotone man on the other end of the phone tried telling me that the first available appointment was Tuesday.  Six days away???  After explaining Kaylin's pain and that the accident happened on Friday and begging to be put on a cancellation list, somehow Eeyore found an 8:30am appointment for today.  Yes, much better.  Thank you.

(this story is getting much to long...I'm even boring myself...)

After meeting with the Orthopedist this morning, she obviously wanted to take more x-rays to properly determine how to help the fracture heal.  Since all of this expense is going toward the $10,000 deductible on our catastrophe-plan insurance, I begged her not to.  (there seems to be a lot of begging going on at this point in the story)  "The Radiologist didn't give you the x-rays?"  Um no, he did not.  The alternative to taking new x-rays was to drive back down to the Radiologist...AGAIN...to ask them for the films.  Back into the car everyone went, back to the radiology office we went, then back to Phoenix Children's...again.  I felt like I was on a wild goose chase.

Through all of this today, Jason was being horrible.  HORR. I. BLE.  Screaming fits, arched back, spitting, throwing, pulling my hair, running down the hall...he was such a joy. I was proud. People looked at me like I was the laziest mother ever.  When just yesterday, he was the star of the show.  Whatever.

Finally, FINALLY, we got the big news: Kaylin's fracture could heal with a sling and didn't need to be casted.  WOO HOO!  Kaylin was crushed, because she had talked herself into a cool pink, sparkly cast that everyone would sign and SHE would be the star, just as she likes it.  But we all know she's going to be happier in the pool for the next six weeks than she would be with a bulky cast on her arm.

After dropping her off at VBS, late, I fully intended to go to the gym...something that hasn't happened all week.  But with cranky pants as my sidekick, I decided we needed to go home so he could take a nap.

So here I sit, fully dressed in my workout gear, eating a delicious pan of piece of Cinnamon Blueberry Coffee Cake.  Because who really needs exercise, right?  What I need, after a week like this, is to stress eat. 

Barring any other major illnesses, injuries or emergencies, I plan to go to the gym tomorrow.  Maybe.

Our Experience with Chicken Pox

Warning: I'm showing pictures, here!  If you're squeamish, beware.  I didn't take any close-ups of breaking blisters or anything nasty like that, just trying to be sensitive to those with a weak stomach.

May 22 - day 16 for Jason (he was still splotchy) and day 4 for the big kids.  Everyone was happy and normal again!

I'm not going to open up a debate about vaccinations, but I will begin by saying that none of our kids have had the chicken pox vaccine.  And having gone through the chicken pox with all of my kids now, I'm thrilled with the decision not to vaccinate.  The experience kept us home-bound for a while, but we all survived just fine.  Each child had one really bad day, plus Kaylin had an extra thrown in there because she also had a stomach bug, so she was nauseous on the inside and miserable and the outside.  Not a fun combo.

The day before the "day 1" photos below, I noticed a zit on Jason's neck.  The next morning (Saturday), I noticed another above his lip.  Then as I changed his diaper, I saw a few more near his waist.  I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box, because I thought it was a reaction to our warm weather lately...heat rash.  Mike was the one who said, "I wonder if it's chicken pox?" and I immediately knew he was right.

{day 1 - none the wiser}

{day 2 - still in good spirits}

{day 3 - itching and discomfort set in}

{day 4 - bipolar boy}

happy one minute...

...miserable the next.

"WHAT is going ON with my body?!?!?"

{day 7 - all scabbed over}

(this is one of the only times I caught him scratching...I don't think he ever figured out how to relieve the itchiness)

(this is his look when I ask him to show me his teeth)

{day 10 - still splotchy, but happy once again}

{day 11 - Kaylin's neck rebelled}

Kaylin woke up with a weird kink in her neck.  The chiropractor suggested that her body was preparing for the pox.  After her traumatic adjustment, I let her have an ice cream sundae at 9:30am

{day 12 - Kaylin noticed a couple of pox}

To add insult to injury, Kaylin also developed a stomach bug on this day.  She wouldn't eat and carried around a throw up bowl everywhere she went.  We didn't notice the pox until bedtime.

{day 13 - Kaylin and Ryan officially covered in pox}

I didn't see Ryan's first pox until this morning.  Kaylin had a few pop up yesterday, similar to Jason's situation, but not Ryan.  He walked into my bathroom, all ready for school, and after taking one look at him, I broke the news to him that he was probably not going to make it back to his 1st grade classroom.  He was heartbroken.


Kaylin was miserable during this process, yet Ryan was exactly. the. same.  I'm not sure if her case was more severe at this point or if she just doesn't tolerate pain as well...who knows.  Also, she was recovering from her neck pain and was fighting a stomach virus.  Regardless,  I found their side-by-side cases to be fascinating to observe.

{Jason's day 14, the big kids' day 2-3 - the worst. day. ever.}

Day 2/3 for the big kids was miserable.  The itching set in with full force, I was alternating between Tylenol, Calamine lotion, homeopathic drops and Benadryl before bed and naps. Not to mention giving everyone oatmeal baths and covering them with cool, wet towels and t-shirts.  THAT actually helped their discomfort substantially...the cool compresses, that is. 

My mom came over to relieve me during her lunch hour and I truly believe it's the only thing that kept me sane that day.  The only way Ryan let me take pictures of him was because he wanted to see how bad his back was broken out. 

{day 6 for the big kids - Ryan returned to school}

Ryan's teacher suggested that I get him checked by the school nurse to see if he could come back for the end of the school party.  Sure enough, his pox were healing so quickly that they cleared him to return for the full last three days of 1st grade!  My kid was beaming.  BEAMING.

{Ryan's "end of 1st grade" luau}

{day 14 - everyone has zit like craters a few healing pox left}

All of the kids seem to have these lingering craters where the first pox appeared on their faces.  And Jason is somehow right on track with the big kids, even though his first pox appeared a month ago.  A FULL MONTH.  When he's cold, the little faint spots become more pronounced and even blue-ish.  When the kids are wet, you can see where all of their old pox are healing.  But to the naked eye, strangers no longer gawk in fear while we're in public.  So we're excited that this whole episode is past us, once and for all!

Kaylin's first Marilyn Monroe chicken pock is now a crater on her face.

Oh, I should also mention that all three families who babysat my kids (hoping to infect their own children) showed signs of their first chicken pox exactly two weeks to the day that my kids were at their house.  So for us, the two week exposure seemed to be the magic number for everyone.