Spring Cleaning...in Fall.

Hello, blog friends! I'm sorry I've been absent. I mentioned earlier this month that I wanted to give my home some much-needed attention and that's what I've been doing! I'm working my way down the brain-dump of a list that I posted and it feels really, really good. For the past few weeks, I've been {obsessively} decluttering nooks and crannies in our house. Closets, mostly - in the playroom, the schoolroom, my bedroom closet - I'm on a mission. 

Some of the items have been sold, others donated, others given away. I'm thinking of having an "Everything's $1" garage sale before making my final trip to Good Will, in hopes of selling a few more-than-one-dollar items, namely the green couch that no longer matches our new playroom walls. 

I'm embracing this quote by William Morris as my new motto: 

"Have nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful."

This month, I've made around $300-400 selling junk. I mean truly...JUNK...$3, $5 and $10 at a time. Stuff that I was NOT using and no longer found beautiful. Someone shared a local "Swip Swap" Facebook page that has been amazing. You post a picture, the price and your location and people just show up at my door to haul my stuff away for me! And the bonus is that these are people who WANT my junk. They're willing to pay what it's worth, not trying to talk me down from my already-a-bargain prices in a garage sale setting.

I've sold maternity clothes, baby toys, board books, yard toys, DVDs, baby dolls, faded PJs, shoes, puzzles, kitchenware, electronics, craft supplies...these lovely strangers have been giving me cash for all sorts of unloved items that I've been storing for some reason.

My unsuspecting, pregnant cousin is going to get a boatload of hand-me-downs for her baby shower this weekend. If she doesn't want them, SHE can donate them, but maybe she'll find some of the items useful. I look at outlet covers as clutter, hopefully she will look at them as $5 she doesn't have to spend at Target. (and, before you judge me, YES she is getting a Babies R Us gift card with the giant bag full of hand-me-downs)

If you haven't gotten the itch to declutter your own home, I strongly encourage you to give it a try. Start in a room and toss unwanted items into a large bin. Do you "know it to be useful or find it to be beautiful"? If you don't use it or love it, get rid of it. Don't save it "for someday" or "just in case". If you can't sell it right away, donate it. Allow someone else to put it in their home to use and love! You will feel SO FREE of the unnecessary crap clutter.

I guarantee it.

Poor Time Management

If I do say so myself, I have naturally awesome time management skills. Well, maybe not naturally...maybe I've learned to have great time management over the years, but regardless, I rock in this area.

Except not lately. Like at ALL. These last few weeks have left me overwhelmed and unfocused many hours of most days. And when I do have some free time, I find myself wanted to collapse into a pile of mental exhaustion from the day's activities, lacking any motivation or desire to cross anything off my to do list. 

This is all very unlike me. Very. What happened to my incredible ability to spin plates and wear different hats?

For some reason, I am feeling a lot of pressure lately. Pressure to get back into a good routine with our homeschooling. Pressure to declutter my house (seeing unnecessary crap...er, I mean, STUFF, in every corner is suddenly driving me insane). Pressure to stick to my recent commitment to eating right and doing the Bikini Body Mommy 90 day challenge. Pressure to keep my kids from destroying everything that I just tidied up five minutes ago. 

We've also had a lot of larger time-suckers taking over the schedule (eye doctor appointments, the allergist, hair cuts, not to mention preparing and packing for, then unpacking and doing laundry from, several trips and weekend getaways) - plus we've suddenly added football practice and Cub Scout meetings back into our weekly rotation. Is it horrible that I'm so grateful that no one signed up for our new weekly Bible study this semester? Having one more night filled with people just sounds...exhausting.

I'm probably going to be shunned from the mommy community for admitting this, but the worst part is (...brace yourself...) I have not been enjoying my kids lately. For some reason, their singing is driving me crazy. Their banter is driving me crazy. Asking simple questions, even legitimate ones about schoolwork, is driving me crazy. The whining and constant talking and "Mommy, Mom, HEY MOMMY..." is driving. me. crazy.

Yet it's funny how God has been dropping snippets of hope and encouragement into my life.

This past weekend, I found a blog post in my email about being a Mental Neat Freak. After reading it, I realized that I need to do a brain dump to "sort" all of the stuff floating around in my head. I am hoping to find the time to blog more often. 

On Monday, my daily devotional had this to say, "You will not find My Peace by engaging in excessive planning; attempting to control what will happen to you in the future. Just when you think you have prepared for all of the possibilities, something unexpected pops up and throws things into confusion." (don't I know it)

On Tuesday, this was in my in-box, "So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up. Galatians 6:9" (Promise?!?!?)

Then this morning, in a futile attempt to escape all that I should be doing, I cleared out my email in-box and found a blog post titled, "What about ME: On taking care of yourself as a homeschool mom." 

I almost cried while reading it. THIS is what I have been needing! ME TIME. I have felt selfishly guilty for escaping for some much needed daily mental and physical rest. My kids are around me all. day. long. Sometimes it feels like my day is one big run-on sentence. I speak and am spoken to constantly. Constantly. 

Jason is such a bundle of energy that I can barely see how quickly he is maturing. He's growing out of the...let's call it a...tough phase, that he's been in for more than two years. He no longer thrives on making waves or causing trouble. He can still be a challenge, but he is getting so much better. And I wish I was more appreciative.

Kaylin wants so desperately for her brothers to love and accept her, but generally gets caught in a wrestling match which ends in tears. It seems that she's drawn to me during my quiet moments when all I want is to be alone. Please, for the love of all that is good...I just want some space. Even as I type this, she's curled up on the bed next to me, forfeiting stories with Daddy to just lay near me before bedtime. And all I want to do is escape.

Then there's Ryan...my clone. He is so responsible and I feel that I've taken advantage of that recently. Soliciting him to help with extra chores or occupy Jason with a game of Duck, Duck, Goose because I just don't have it in me. 

I feel consistently torn between doing what I want to do and doing what I know I should be doing. I haven't felt this way since before Jason was born...back when Ryan was the one who was the handful. I'm just feeling so...smothered all of a sudden. On Monday, it was literally giving me anxiety. Mike came home from work early (which never happens) because he had a dentist appointment and I was giddy. I asked if I could go run errands alone then head to the gym. When he asked if I'd be willing to take one of the kids with me, I nearly cried. 

This is SO unlike me!!!

What's worse is that the more I want to be alone, the more the kids are attracted to me. It's a vicious cycle...like they can sense it. 

I need to get my time management under control. Letting all of this out has been helpful, but the practical side of me realizes that I need to sit down and block out chunks of time for school, work,  exercise, Mike, of course, and I can't forget ME TIME. Because I'm drowning without it. 

Whew! I feel a little better already. Time to snuggle with my girl.

Refocused Attention on my Home

After a long, cold winter, most people have an incessant need to "Spring Clean" when they're no longer captive in their home. In Phoenix, I tend to feel this pull at the end of a long, hot summer. We're not at the end of our summer, per se, but I can't deny the itch. I must declutter.

This feeling might have been accelerated after staying at a clean, simple, organized and uncluttered home in California last weekend. Or a garage sale hosted by some friends yesterday. Or the freshly painted navy guest bathroom and deep red dining room in another girlfriend's house yesterday. All of these have contributed to an epiphany that, as Jason is getting older and more self-sufficient, my time and energy can be freed up to do several DIY projects that have lingered on my to do list for far too long.

I must touch up scuff marks in tons of areas on my walls.

I can finally fix the frame around the wall decor above my bed.

I want to paint the playroom.

Maybe even paint my laundry room since I'm in there every. darn. day.

My bedroom could use a major makeover.

My closet needs a major overhaul and reorganization.

I would love to figure out a no-sew window treatment option for our office.

There are pictures that need to be hung.

Old toys, books and games to be sold or donated.

Things shoved in nooks and crannies that either need to find homes or get rid of them altogether.

There's work to be done, people. I'm not sure when I got out of the mode of fixing up my home...maybe it was in 2008 when Mike was laid off? Or in 2009 when I was pregnant? Or in 2010 when I had a needy infant? Or later in 2010 when that infant showed his strong will and transformed into destructo-boy? Or in 2011 when I began selling Tastefully Simple? Or in 2012 when I began to homeschool?

So yeah, apparently I've had a lot going on. Redecorating hasn't necessarily been a top priority. But I'm definitely feelin' it now! 2013 will be focused on decluttering and 2014 will give my house the decorating attention it deserves. I'm ready for some changes!

Feeling...Blah

This week has been a very blah week for me. I've been feeling overwhelmed with unpacking from our California trip, doing mountains of laundry, Cub Scouts and football starting up again, Bible studies starting up again, taking Kaylin to tumbling, taking Jason to the doctor for a cough which turned into a referral to an allergist (another appointment?!?!), dentist appointments for me and Ryan, and not to mention that I'd like to workout, shower and sleep and...oh yeah! I'm supposed to fit in educating three children. 

Before all of this began on Tuesday, I committed to a 90 Day Challenge from Bikini Body Mommy. Believe me, friends...I need it! After a calorie-laden vacation and an exercise-free summer because of my stupid cast, I'm more than ready to get my body back. Unfortunately, "my body" has never been a bikini body, but I want MY body back none-the-less.

The first steps to begin the challenge were to weigh and measure myself, then (*gulp*) take "before" pictures in a bikini. 

Folks, I haven't squeezed into a bikini in nearly a decade. Why would I? The only person who sees my belly is Mike and he doesn't care if it's tan or not! But I did it. Reluctantly, and mostly because this BBM chick Brianna was very bossy and told me (er, um, everyone) "don't skip this step!" So I did it. 

And I was instantly depressed. Not depressed, just...disheartened. Well-designed clothes cover up all of the imperfections that a bikini puts on display. Even though I see myself naked every day after showers and while getting dressed, the reality finally hit me. It looked like someone dressed me up in a fat suit. 

As the week progressed with doctor appointments, putting our house back together after our trip, shuttling kids to meetings, practices and birthday parties...I have felt quite overwhelmed. I gave myself a break by calling in helpers to clean my house yesterday, so at least we're not living in filth, but this week has still taken a lot out of me. 

All the while, I've been feeling really down on myself. With every decision of what to eat throughout the day, I'm reminded of how uncomfortable I am in my own skin. So I turn around and remind Mike so he can join in on the emotional battering of my spirit. 

But he hasn't taken the bait. In fact, for some strange reason, he has been wearing these rose-colored "I think you look great, honey, you need to stop being so hard on yourself," glasses for months and months and months. His unconditional love and encouragement has been the only thing keeping me sane.

I'm going to stick to this Bikini Body Mommy's workouts (since mine clearly haven't been doing a darn thing all month) to see if I can regain some of my muscle tone and shape again. My body responds really well to exercise and rebels when I become lazy. And I have become lazy.

If things go as planned over the next 90 days, I will show you the horrendous "before" bikini pictures (because I know the human nature in you is dying to see my imperfections in gory detail) with the smokin' hot "after" bikini picture right next to it.

So I've officially put it out there...I'm doing this. I'm reducing my portion sizes, I'm increasing my weight training, and I have every intention of adding jogging into my cardio routine. No more pity parties! It's time to attack this issue head-on.

Let's do this thing!

(BTW...if you want to follow along with the BBM's 90 Day Challenge, "like" her page on Facebook to see her daily workouts and encouraging tips along the way. And no, I'm not getting a kickback for endorsing this girl. She has nearly 56K followers...I'm quite sure she doesn't care about my referrals!)