I overheard Ryan talking to someone today and the other person's contribution to the conversation broke my heart. I'm not going to go into details (I'd hate for this post to be read by the wrong person) but it reminded me of something that I've been wanting to share.
At the homeschool convention this summer, one of the speakers,
Todd Wilson, spoke about fanning the flame of your child's dream vs. crushing their dream. (he also spoke to wives about fanning vs. crushing their husband's dreams, but that's a whole 'nother blog post)
The example that he gave was of one of his younger sons (he's maybe 7 or 8 years old), who loves to construct things. He asked Todd one day, "How much does a jet engine cost?" Todd replied, "Oh I don't know, probably like a million dollars." The son looked it up on eBay and discovered that you can purchase a build-it-yourself, George Jetson replica jet pack for just $200. So he approached his dad again, "If I earn $200, can I buy and build a jet engine?" After deciding to encourage his (insanely dangerous) dream, his dad agreed. "Thankfully," Todd joked, "all of his siblings are dream crushers and convinced him that I would NEVER let him build a jet engine, but I'm going to stick to my word. If he earns the money, I will just pray that he doesn't injure himself while he's attempting to fly around town in his homemade jet pack. And no, we are not taking donations for this little project."
If one of my kids came to me with such a request, I don't know that I would respond with such grace. Unfortunately for my household, Mike and I are a bit too realistic in our thinking. If it doesn't seem to make logical sense, it's a dream that will likely be crushed.
All this week, Ryan and his neighbor friend have been practicing a show to do for the neighbors. It is {admittedly} ridiculous, but they are so excited and proud of their hard work and effort.
The show is about 3 minutes long and is perfectly coordinated. They have spent no less then 7-8 hours this week planning and perfecting this performance. Invitations have been hand-crafted and delivered to select households on our street. Ryan asked if I would bake cookies and make popcorn for the event. Blankets will be laid out so guests have somewhere comfortable to sit while watching the show on our driveway.
This has become quite the production.
I've been asked to watch them practice a few times and will admit that I blew them off today while I was making dinner or helping Jason or doing something-or-other. I tried to drop everything and watch when I was invited, but it often wasn't the best timing. The last time I watched, Ryan asked me to give them my honest opinion about whether it was good or bad, what needs to be worked on and if they should add more "tricks." They are taking this thing so very seriously.
I actually heard Ryan say, "What if we set out all of the blankets and have all of the snacks and only one person shows up?" Bless his little heart. Knowing who is invited, I'm going to text everyone in the morning to let them know how short the show will be and to beg ask them to interrupt their Sunday night to participate in the audience.
This is a sweet story and all, but my point is that I decided at the beginning of this process to fan the flame of Ryan's dream of performing this show for our neighbors. Although "why?" entered my mind, it was quickly followed by, "why not?"
It might sound silly, but I am actually pretty proud of myself. Especially since Ryan's other dream this week of creating a desk out of a refrigerator box has not come to fruition. (For a variety of reasons, which I won't go into, but lets just say that I'm not disappointed that a giant box hasn't invaded and cluttered up my house. But I digress.)
Do you have your own dreams for your kids? Are they different from the dreams THEY have? Mike and I have struggled with this a little with Ryan. Mike loves football. A lot. Initially, Ryan was excited to play football, but it's clear that he doesn't have the obsession passion for it that his teammates have. They eat, sleep and breathe football. Outside of practices and games, Ryan rarely talks about football.
Now Cub Scouts, on the other hand, is something that gets Ryan really excited. He cannot WAIT for his next den meeting or scouting activity. Mark my words, my kid is going to go all the way with scouts. Unfortunately for Mike, I doubt he'll go very far with football, but who's to say? He does love to play, but he doesn't spend his free time learning the plays or practicing his moves or studying the best teams on ESPN.
Do you fan the flame of the dreams of others or a dream crusher? As I evaluate myself, I think I tend to fan dreams that won't affect me in a negative way. I wish I naturally fanned everyone's dreams...my kids' dreams, my husband's dreams, my friends' dreams, all of them.
I will say that since hearing Todd Wilson speak, I'm faster to zip my lip of reason when people start dreaming out loud. I listen, I nod, and I try to keep myself quiet unless I'm asked questions.
I'm going to try to catch Ryan's show on video tomorrow night. And if I do, you know I'll post it for you.
Update: HERE is the link to Ryan's performance!
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