Incentives vs. Virtue

My friend sent me this article the other day from Chuck Colson comparing the benefits of giving children incentives to do what they should already be doing vs. teaching them about character and virtue and doing the right thing.

Here's an excerpt from the article:

It doesn’t surprise me that these “nudges” [referring to incentives] can have a short-term positive effect. But it’s difficult to imagine these programs making a long-term difference.

On the contrary, the “long term damage”...may very well include creating a generation of people for whom incentives will become a necessity, not a nudge.

To put it in Christian terms, incentives will replace virtue. Instead of doing the right or prudent thing because it’s what a moral person does, people will do what they do because they get something out of it. This doesn’t build character—it builds calculators.

I had no idea I felt so passionate about this topic until reading what the critics are saying about it. I've mentioned that we pay our kids a dime each time they stay seated at the dinner table, are unusually kind to a friend or each other, and a dozen other good habits we're trying to teach them. I see HUGE benefits from incentives.

When we're trying to create a new habit (i.e. putting down the toilet lid) we give a dime each time the task is accomplished then slowly remove the reward when the habit is consistent, but we also give dimes intermittently for random acts of kindness or if we feel they deserve an extra pat on the back for going above and beyond. I've read that giving unexpected, sporadic rewards actually increases the frequency of the good deed and I've seen positive results in my own kids by doing this.

But I've only been a parent for 5 years...what do I know about the long-term affects?

I only know how I was raised and let me tell you - I was "bribed" A LOT growing up. And it worked. Both in the short term and in the long term. I have example after example. Here are a few:

• I was paid $5 per A on my report card. I wasn't naturally good at school and really had to work for my grades. But you'd better believe that it killed me to get an 89%. Most kids are naturally lazy and would much rather watch tv, play video games or hang out with their friends than study. Unfortunately, I believe it's (in many cases) human nature if not learned behavior to blow off school responsibilities after a certain age. Most kids don't get the grades they could get if they really tried. Some kids are born with a natural drive to succeed in school, but to me, that group appears to be the minority in most cases.
• When I was nine years old, my grandmother promised me $5,000 if I didn't drink, smoke or do drugs before I turned 21 years old. There WAS the stipulation that I could stop at 18 for $1,000 if I wanted, but if I waited those extra few years, I'd get 5x the money. (Now this was back in 1985, but it was the same dollar amount in 1997...there was no compound interest, unfortunately.) With no regrets, I made it to my 21st birthday and earned my $5,000. Do you realize how many bad decisions were avoided as a result of that "bribe"??? I was always the DD, so I never got in the car with a driver who'd been drinking. I was never manipulated into a bad situation with a guy (that could have resulted in such things as rape) because I always had my senses about me at parties. And to this day, I rarely drink and still feel strongly about the concept of a designated driver.
• On my 8th birthday, I got a $25 cash gift. Our bank required $50 to open a savings account, so my mom promised to match any deposits into my savings account dollar for dollar. Any of you who know me or have read my blog for any length of time know that I am a saver. I completely contribute this trait to the fact that at 8 years old, I learned the concept of interest. Granted, I haven't earned 100% interest since I was 12, but I saw the results of putting a whole $20 birthday gift into the bank (resulting in a $40 deposit) vs. spending half of it and only getting a $20 deposit. My mom bribed me to save and IT WORKED. (She continued this until I began babysitting and it became too expensive to match my savings, but by then, I had already gotten into the habit of putting money straight into the bank.)

I whole-heartedly believe that because I was "nudged" into making good choices time after time throughout my childhood, when it came to making a decision that was not tied to an incentive, I was already in the habit of doing the right thing. Does that make sense?

Now, my mom didn't miss additional opportunities to teach me values apart from those tied with incentives. A few character traits that stand out in my mind are honesty and a sense of commitment. Honesty was a non-negotiable in my household. I got in FAR less trouble by telling the truth about a bad decision than I did if I got caught in a lie. My mom taught me about commitments by not allowing me to miss a birthday party I agreed to attend when a better offer came along later. And all these years later, I stick with my original commitments and work hard not to over-book my schedule so I'm not overwhelmed and tempted to flake out on someone.

To this day, integrity is the single most important character trait to me. What you do and who you are when no one is looking...that is how I define integrity. For me, incentives encouraged me to do the right thing before I knew why "the right thing" was the better option. And that carried over into having a conscience when no one is around to see my actions.

I don't agree with paying/bribing kids to do everything. That will surely result in an attitude of "what's in it for me?" There will be things that my kids will be expected to do to help our household run smoothly, volunteer in the community and give their time at church. All of these will give them the internal rewards they need to become contributing members of society. I think it's all about balance.

But especially while they're young and are fighting their natural selfish tendencies, I will continue to give my children incentives to nudge them in the right direction. We happened to do dimes (because we want to additionally teach them about money, tithing and saving) but incentives come in the form of stars, stickers, marbles in a jar...the possibilities are endless.

I've had quite the discussion with my friend about this all week. (you can read her opinions on a personal and national level here) What are your thoughts?