What I've Learned at 40

I recently turned 40 years old. FORTY. I was in college when my mom turned 40 and she seemed so. old. How am I already 40???

My mom and Mike threw me a surprise party, complete with fly-ins from 3 of my bridesmaids (from Houston, northern California and Wichita) and another friend from KC. It was such a great way to celebrate this milestone!

I can honestly say that I am able to look back over the past 40 years with no regrets. I love my husband, my kids, our home, our traditions, and the life we have created. 

I have discovered that it will never be perfect, whatever "it" is. I have learned to be content in...my marriage, my body, my patience level, my relationships, my communication, homeschooling, my drive to achieve...I will never arrive. I am forever a work in progress. 

At 40, there's no need for a facade. I am a positive, optimistic person, but I will be the first to admit when things get tough. What you see is what you get...I don't have the energy for manipulation, games or drama.

I am comfortable in my own skin. I've come to realize that this may be as good as I'm ever going to look! It's incredibly freeing. 

I appreciate the personality God has given me. I have discovered my strengths and I accept my weaknesses. 

At 40, I don't feel the need to "fix" myself. I stay up too late, I wait too long to leave the house for appointments, I don't take hints well, and I care too much about screwing up my children. I make mistakes, I forget to return phone calls, I respond to texts in my head, but most people who know me know my heart and that my intention is never to hurt or offend anyone.

I have learned to be more flexible and less rigid. Yet I understand that I work better with structure, deadlines, and goals. I have dozens of alarms on my phone so I don't forget what needs to be done. I like to feel a sense of accomplishment before I can fully relax, so I've learned to "eat the frog" early in the day.

At 40, I have learned the value of creating space in my life. That taking time to recharge is not selfish. That asking for help is not weakness. 

I know my priorities and boundaries. I no longer feel guilty telling people "no" because it often allows me to say "yes" to something more important. 

I strive to give others grace, assuming they are just doing the best they can with what they've been given. I hope others will assume the same of me.

At 40, nothing is more important than honesty and integrity. My values are unshakable. My faith is my foundation.

I feel older, but wiser. My body is aging, but I am healthy. I'm not as exciting as I once was, but definitely still crack myself up! I have immeasurably more than I need or deserve...I pray that I don't ever take these things for granted.

I am so very grateful for all I have. For who I am. For all that is ahead for me. 

More Privileges = More Responsibilities

Last year, we began a new birthday tradition: On the morning of their birthday, the birthday kid is presented with an envelope, which contains 1 new privilege and 1 new responsibility.

When Ryan turned six, we began giving him $1/week allowance.  His new responsibility was to tidy the bathroom each night and clean the mirror and sink thoroughly on Saturdays.  He gladly took on the new chore since it was accompanied by a new allowance!

This year, Mike didn't feel that it was appropriate to give him more allowance, since he hardly spends what he has as it is now.  He suggested pushing his bedtime back by 30 minutes. 

Ryan was thrilled.  THRILLED.  Especially since he's had the same bedtime as his baby sister his whole life.  (granted, she still naps every other day or so, but still)  This was a bit of a bitter pill for Kaylin to swallow, but she is only four years old, after all.  I settled on the fact that on the days that she actually sleeps during her quiet time, she can go to bed at the same time as Ryan, but if she doesn't nap, she goes to bed at her normal bedtime.  This will keep her from coming out of her room a dozen times on the days she sleeps.  Yay for a win:win!

The new responsibility we gave Ryan this year was to load the dishwasher.  He's been unloading it for some time now, so he knows where things go to make this "puzzle" of a task fit the most dishes possible.  Plus, he's finally tall enough to reach inside the sink without a step stool. 

When he saw his new chore, he blushed as he said, "Oh, alright...!"  I could tell that he wanted to seem annoyed, but was excited.  This kid loves responsibilities.  So, from now on, he'll load the breakfast and lunch dishes and Mike will continue to do dinner. I think I'll give Kaylin the new responsibility of unloading the whole dishwasher (not just the silverware) on her upcoming 5th birthday.  That will give Ryan a bit of a break from constant dishes.

Hmmm...I might be on to something: At this rate, by the time the kids are in high school, I won't have to lift a finger around here!  HA!

Dinosaur Birthday Cake (with Volcano, Lava and Oreo "dirt")

For Ryan's dinosaur-themed birthday party today, I got creative (*surprise, surprise*) and made a fun volcano cake.

I lined both a large 11"x14" cake pan and a Small Batter Bowl from Pampered Chef with parchment paper before pouring the batter of two chocolate cake mixes.

(*Note about the batter bowl: you can safely bake in it...I also used it to make the skirt of Barbie's dress for Kaylin's princess cake last year. The cake is very dense, so it takes longer to bake, but it is SO moist! Any smaller, oven-proof glass bowl would probably work OR you could shape the volcano out of any shaped cake pan with a serrated knife.)

Once the cakes were baked and cooled, I covered and frigerated them until I was ready to decorate the final cake.

Yesterday, I transferred the large, rectangle cake to a serving platter and frosted it with chocolate frosting. Then I took the "volcano" piece out of the batter bowl and used a serrated knife to make the top (which would be the bottom) perfectly flat. I flipped it over and frosted it, too.



Ryan and Kaylin helped me crush Oreo cookies (minus the filling) in a sandwich bag to make "dirt" on the surface of the cake. FYI: I think I used less than 1/2 of a package of Oreos. (after this picture was taken, I covered the volcano and the sides of the cake with Oreos, too)


A little red food coloring in some white frosting created the lava. I microwaved it for about five seconds to make it runny and easier to work with. (*Note: every kid wanted a piece of cake with lava on it.)

The final addition was a few smaller dinosaurs on top, plus a tree from one of Ryan's race track sets.

Happy Birthday, Ryan!!!

Over the Top for the Big Top (picture heavy)

It's official...Ryan is FIVE! I think this will be a birthday to remember for everyone.

First of all, I went a little overboard. (I know, who would have thought...me!?!) Because I started planning so far in advance, all of the prep work was pretty much done last weekend. So with some extra time on my hands, I got over-excited and did a few additional things to make the party that much more special.

For instance, I took about 20 minutes and made 3 huge signs with butcher paper and tempora paint from our kids' easel.

The kids asked to help earlier this week (why wasn't I including them the whole time?!?) and we worked together on the Lollipop Tree game. This was the only game I bought supplies for; we already had everything else. I used a 40% coupon at Michael's for this foam cone for the "tree," used green paint that I already had and stuck 2 bags of Blow Pops into the tree after it was dry. About 60-70% of the lollipops had the ends of the sticks colored (kids helped do that, too) and if the player pulled out a lollipop with a colored end, they won a ticket and kept the lollipop. An easy game that cost about $6 total and the prizes are a part of the game.


Mike took yesterday off work and we spent the day rearranging furniture, setting up the games and decorating. I got the idea (on a website somewhere) to take crepe paper and create a circus tent in the front room. Starting in the middle of the ceiling, we draped crepe paper to each corner of the room and let it hang down to the ground. Voila - circus tent.

The cupcakes were also created yesterday (thanks for your help, mom!!!) and stayed fresh in the refrigerator overnight. (I baked and froze the cupcakes last weekend and criss-cross cut the mini-marshmallows throughout the week. By Friday, they just needed to be assembled.)


Kaylin turned out to be an amazing helper! For nearly an hour, she carefully placed the cut marshmallows on each frosted cupcake - she was so proud of herself. We had to "correct" the first few, but it didn't take her long to understand how they were intended to look and we couldn't tell her cupcakes from ours!

I looked on Craigslist for some last minute carnival decorations and stumbled upon an amazing, very inexpensive clown duo. Because I was WAY under budget (by almost 1/2), we hired the team to paint faces and make balloon animals for an hour. A huge crowd pleaser and we only had one child with clown-fear (and one adult...my 32 year old cousin!) - probably because the clowns didn't paint their faces white and you could see that it was real people in dress up costumes.

For decorations, I used some popcorn buckets (that we use for family movie nights) filled with popcorn on tables in the family room and even in the bathroom. We also had balloons and crepe paper sprinkled throughout the house.


As the guests arrived, they got a loot bag with their child's name on it and began playing games while waiting for their name to be called for face painting.

The Carnival games were all things we had around the house. A ring toss, bean bag tic-tac-toe, bowling, a basketball shoot, a throw-the-balls-in-the-buckets game and a clothespin drop. There was also the lollipop tree and I wrapped up animal crackers for a "Guess How Many" type game.

The guest list did NOT look this overwhelming on Evite! The kids were really well behaved, until the older boys started beating each other with balloon flowers and having sword fights with their balloon swords...then it was time to settle down to turn the tickets in for prizes.

I set up the prizes in little labeled baskets. Each prize had a different ticket value. At the end of the party, the kids turned in their tickets (they got one ticket if they lost the game, 2+ if they won) for prizes. A similar concept to Chuck E. Cheese. Prizes included stickers, temporary tattoos, rubber spiders, glow bracelets, whistles, necklaces, funky sunglasses, snake toys, bubbles and silly straws. (I found many of the prizes on clearance, so other than the $.50 snakes, everything was between $.10-$.20 each.)

For those who want to borrow from this idea, this is how the party went:
10:30 - Carnival games, balloon animals, face painting, drinks and popcorn were available. I had a sign up sheet by the face painting station so the kids didn't have to stand in line.
11:30 - While everyone ate lunch outside under canopy tents (hot dogs, nachos, iced tea and lemonade), my family helpers cleared out the games.
12:00 - The kids turned in their tickets for prizes, then Ryan opened gifts inside.
12:30 - We sang Happy Birthday, ate cupcakes and ran wild in the backyard.

Overall, this party was a blast and ran very smoothly. I hit a snag when I couldn't find the carnival tickets yesterday, so I picked up some more early today while waiting for Walmart to fill the helium balloons. That hour-long detour to my morning was the most stressful thing about this party. Arriving home 35 minutes before party time and barking orders delegating last minute items to family members is not my idea of fun. (FYI - Walmart just raised the price to fill balloons from $.25 to $.50 each. Next time, I doubt I'll battle huge Super-Walmart on party day for balloons...the grocery store was $.59 to fill each, so I'll probably bring my balloons there.)

I'll gladly do boring old swim parties for the next few birthdays until Kaylin turns five. This was fun, but I'm exhausted!

Happy, Happy Birthday, Ryan!!!

Tuesday's Time Saving {Birthday Party} Tips

I'm going to simplify this whole post in one word: PREPARE. Pre-planning is the best way to host a successful party with minimal stress and less strain on your wallet. With a little preparation, you will be able to enjoy the party with your child and the guests instead of exhausting yourself and missing all the fun.

A friend emailed me yesterday with the idea to write this post. She's wanting to throw a great kids party but is a little intimidated by the details. Here was her email:

How are you planning the logistics of Ryan's party? Are you scheduling different games for different times, or are you just going to let the kids go for it on their own? I'm curious about how these kid parties 'flow' from one thing to the next. How many games/activities would one need to plan? Do 5-year olds want me to be up front directing activities, or do they just want to play? What order should things be done? Are you going to have him open his presents at the party, or wait until after? These kind of things are stressing me out a bit...

While I will answer all of the Carnival-specific questions in a post this weekend, I'm going to go over some time-saving tips for kids parties in general. Not because I'm an expert, but I do love me a good get together, so I've made a few mistakes and learned some things over the years.

* Start with a plan. Do you want to do a themed party or just a simple gathering at the park? Does your child have a favorite cartoon character, hobby or sport? Party City is a great national chain that has a large variety of party decorations arranged by theme. Curious George, Disney Princesses, Nascar, Baby Einstein, Elmo, you name it. While I don't think they're the cheapest store for ALL of your party needs, they aren't messing around when it comes to themes.

* Set a budget. Many birthday parties get out of hand because parents don't put a limit to their spending. Bounce houses, magicians and clowns can be pricey, so consider ending the party before lunch if you go that route. And remember: the little things add up. Paper plates, streamers and cake toppers can be simple or extravagant. Either is fine, just make sure your budget can handle it.

* At home or away? There are plenty of venues that host birthday parties, providing entertainment, cake and even decorations and clean up. This can be a huge time saver IF you're willing to spend the extra money. If your home is too small to host a gathering or if you get too stressed out over the details, this is the way to go. Bounce house companies, theme parks and pizza places allow parents to relax and enjoy the party with their guests. Just know that this is a higher dollar option. Also, remember to specify whether siblings and parents are invited...you will likely be charged extra per-head fees for additional guests.

* Think ahead. If you start thinking about the details of the party a month or two in advance, you'll have time to get creative and save some money in the process. Once you've decided on the theme, keep your eyes open when you're out and about for ideas and deals on party items and goodie bag treats. If you're creative, take this extra time to make items that might cost more if you buy them ready-made. This weekend, I saw a suggestion online about making your own party signs using butcher paper and kids paint. We have a kid's easel, so I had all of the supplies on hand. 20 minutes later, I had three free party signs that saved me big bucks. I contemplated buying a colorful banner with stickers to spell out our event title...I probably spent the same amount of time painting the signs as I would have putting the sticker banner together and I saved myself $20.

* Do a little research. If you pre-plan and pre-purchase certain items you might find that they aren't party-ready on the big day. If you buy the cake too soon, it might not taste fresh for the party. I just found out that helium balloons only last 8-10 hours. I'm glad I called around, because I might have gotten over excited and tried buying them the night before, waking up to deflated balloons and running out to buy them at a premium the morning of the party. Because really...what is a Carnival without balloons?!? (Another tip on balloons...I found that they cost just under $1 per balloon at most party stores and grocers. Except Walmart. If you bring your balloons to the back "service area," they will fill your balloons with helium for just $.25 each.)

* Decide what's important. I know a mom who threw a Carnival Party who puts her time, money and attention into the invitations for her kids' parties. Another friend puts her time into making amazing cakes. Pick one or two things to make an impression (if that) and stop there. Don't stress yourself out about doing everything over-the-top. When all is said and done, your child will remember having all of their friends around, not how much time you spent on every little detail.

* Have an agenda. Think through the "flow" of the party. What will the kids do while you wait for the late arrivals? Will the kids play outside for a bit before doing organized games? Will you open gifts before blowing out the candles or after? Don't set the timer and make everything militaristic, but if you have an idea of the order in which things will go during the party, things will feel smooth for everyone involved. Plus you won't run out of time at the end. (I've seen that happen...once, the grill master took so long to dish out lunch that the rest of the party was rushed and many people had to leave before the cake was cut.)

* Set an end time. A 2-hour party runs much differently than a 3-hour party. Give your guests an appropriate expectation and plan the order of events in your head accordingly.

Other tips for a successful party:

* Think simple. My biggest time-saving tip for during the party is CUPCAKES. They are easy to hand out and you won't need a team of people to help slice and serve the cake. Plus, you can usually get away without plates and forks.

* Solicit helpers. Grandparents and friends are usually willing to lend a hand...but you need to ask. Pass your camera to someone else so you can enjoy watching the candles get blown out. Hand another parent a pad of paper and a pen to jot down gifts as they're opened for the Thank You notes. This isn't a one-man show. If there are extra hands available, may as well utilize them!

* Eat cake last. Especially with little ones! This is my big trick...send the kids home all sugared up instead of doing it first and having meltdowns throughout the rest of the party.

* Sing Happy Birthday more than once. I know this sounds cheesy, but getting the perfect picture to scrapbook IS that important to me. Last year, we sang 3 times and the kids loved it. And I got an amazing picture of Ryan blowing out the candles.

* Prepare your child for the etiquette of opening gifts. For young kids, I strongly recommend opening gifts after the party. It's not always popular with your guests, but this avoids meltdowns from your child and it's less stress for you. Picture your 3-year old tearing open paper and ungratefully tossing each package aside, looking for something better. Or worse, he finds the perfect gift and refuses to open any others until you dismantle the package and let him play with that particular present...NOW. Last year, I spent a few minutes the day before the party explaining to Ryan that after each gift is opened, he needs to thank the giver before moving on. I was skeptical, but he did an awesome job. He even opened one homemade card and, holding it upside down, scanned it gasping, "THANK you!!!" He was really trying to be appreciative. I was so proud.

Popcorn Bowl Cupcakes

LOOK at this idea Chandy found for Ryan's birthday party!!! Thank you to the Cake Queen for leading this amateur party horse to water.

(This photo is NOT mine!  I can't find who to credit)

I've spent several hours of my spare time turning these little cups...

Into these striped "popcorn buckets"...

I started my coloring project while watching t.v. the other night, but after some distracted marker slip-ups and a hand cramp, I took a different approach. Any time the kids sat down to color or I was waiting for them to finish breakfast or I had a spare 10 minutes of downtime, I'd pick up the marker and color a few cups. It helped pass the time yesterday when my grandmother called with her alphabetical list of "approved" baby boy name suggestions: "Aaron, Adam, Andrew, Anthony..." That was a long phone call; I got lots of cups colored!

After several moms scared me last night into doing a prototype of this labor-intensive cupcake, I made up a sample today.

I colored some mini-marshmallows with yellow food coloring (in a Ziplock bag), which I likely won't do for the party. The popcorn looked like cheddar-corn. I think white popcorn on top of white frosting will be fine. Plus my fingers won't turn yellow - BONUS!

I cut a criss-cross shape into the marshmallows (this will take a while for 48 cupcakes - enough for parents, too) but not completely through to the other side. Then I stuck the un-cut side into the frosting. Don't they flower out beautifully, just like a popcorn kernal?

Because I didn't want to make a whole batch of cupcakes for this one sample party cupcake, I cheated by frosting a Rise and Shine muffin. (that's the darkness you see peeking out from under the frosting!)

How cute will these be at Ryan's Carnival party in a couple of weeks!??!?

Party Planning Fever

I am exhausted. I got roughly 4 hours of sleep last night because I couldn't shut my mind off! I must have gotten up 4-5 times between 10pm-1am to jot down thoughts to get my brain to relax. Sometimes I was up for 5 minutes, other times 25. Finally, at 12:45, I was laying in bed starving, since we ate dinner at 5:30. I went down to the kitchen and ate some yogurt, hoping that would shut my stomach up.

Then (after Kaylin slept in Ryan's room) I heard the kids up and awake at 5am. Thanks to the lack of window coverings, the sunrise blasts into Ryan's room bright and early.

This 8-9 hour a night sleeper (plus a 1-2 hour nap, now that I'm pregnant) is going to have a long, rough day.

Why was I tossing and turning last night - what's on my mind? You'd think baby boy planning (which is definitely floating around in there) but it's birthday party stuff. Up until now, I've copped out and had simple swimming parties for Ryan. But because he's turning 5 this year, I thought I'd finally give him a REAL party. With a theme. And games. And decorations that haven't been recycled from birthdays past.

We're having a Carnival! I've been planning for over a month and have found some really fun prizes at great bargain prices, so I'm excited to tally up my receipts when I'm done to see how much money I spent. Considering the costs of bounce-house rentals and the Chuck E. Cheese parties that other families have, I think I'm going to make out like a bandit. It's a lot of planning to do this party frugally but it will be worth it! If only I could convince Mike to dress up like a clown and make balloon animals...

My life would be so much easier if we could do this outside, but it will be well over 100 degrees, so I'm (gulp) clearing out our furniture and going to let the kids trash my house.

Less than 3 weeks till party day and I'm as excited as if it were tomorrow. For the first time, I'm not inviting a bunch of my friends and their kids (that Ryan knows) - he actually made out the whole guest list himself. I'm not sure how to break the news to him that his pre-school teacher will likely not attend...

Pictures and all of the fun details will follow after the party in a few weeks. Since I'm still in planning-mode...does anyone have any must-do ideas for a Carnival theme???

Carnival Party

Oh. My. We went to a birthday party today unlike any I've ever seen. I've heard of the parents that spend gobs of money on parties, but I've never attended one before. You know what though - I can see how this type of party can be insanely over the top (with a clown, pony or balloon animals) or done very frugally (homemade games and cheaper prizes). I have to share these ideas because I know someone out there will LOVE to steal borrow this concept, whether frugally or extravagantly.

I'm totally doing this someday. For one of the kids...we'll see who. My kids have never had a themed party, and parties like this make me feel like I'm cheating them. Isn't that bad??? Personally, I think we might do the "big party ever other year" idea and do something simple on the off years. This would be a BIG year idea.

I knew this would be something special when I saw the invitation, pictured below. (the date, time and address were on the other side) For food, they did hot dogs on the grill, chips, juice boxes, fresh popcorn, nachos and cotton candy.

There were tables set up all over the backyard with games in front and prizes (for the winners and non-winners alike) on top of each table. "Non-winner" prizes were simple things like candy or Oriental trading company type stuff, "winner" prizes were higher-dollar items like stuffed animals.

Games included a bean bag toss (which a handy dad could totally make), a ring toss, a kiddie-sized basketball shooting game, balls thrown into a big milk jug, a spinning wheel (similar to roulette in Vegas - Ryan had to play that a LOT to win his little stuffed monkey - I hope he learned a lesson about the odds of gambling!) and the randomly numbered floating ducks in a pool game.

The party favor was a jester hat for each child...even siblings! I think this party was pushed into a whole new level because all of the little details. Also, it was so organized: there was an adult at each game station accepting tickets for the games (which were handed out to each child at the beginning of the party), each child got a bag to hold all of their goodies, lunch was served right in the middle to give everyone a break from the games and over-stimulation, cupcakes and ice cream bars were already individually packaged and passed out easily...it was just a really well-planned party.

The kids had a blast and Kaylin was so hyper that it took her over an hour to fall asleep. Ryan crashed immediately - you can see the glossy eyes in the picture above. It was such a fun day!

Birthday HELP needed ASAP!

I just ran across a list of freebies for kids dinners and it occurred to me that with Ryan's birthday coming up this weekend, I should take advantage of the birthday freebies that restaurants have to offer.

So HELP! What birthday freebies do YOU know about? Please leave a comment or email me, even if the freebie requires that I sign up online first. If I don't have time for Ryan, I'll sign up for Kaylin in August.

Also, Ryan announced tonight that he wants a Spiderman costume for his birthday. On Friday. !!!!!!!!!!! Does anyone have a size 4-6 (I don't care if it's big) Spiderman costume I can buy? I looked on eBay and the auctions don't end before Friday, let alone would they ship in time. Anyone? Anyone? In fact, if you have any other dress up clothes, I would be eternally grateful. Girls size 2T + or boys size 4T +.

If you're reading this and aren't one to comment, now's the time people!!! Thanks for your help!