I've been getting a lot of questions about our "Family Day" since posting about it last week. I'm getting the feeling everyone thinks I'm nuts, but it's not that hard. Really, it's not. If I can commit to having a weekly Family Day, so can you.
We started honoring Sunday as our Family Day about a year and a half ago. I think it started as a month-long challenge to see if we could avoid making plans on Sundays and just hang out at home all day without getting bored. Since then, it's become our favorite day of the week.
Here's what we try to do:
...avoid making plans or agreeing to outside commitments
...avoid the t.v. and computer (though lately the Cardinals game is usually on for a few hours, which is fine because Ryan and Kaylin end up watching it with Mike, instead of Mike zoning out while I care for the kids)
...find a few things that we can do throughout the day as a family (ex: go to the park, wander around Costco eating the samples, have a picnic, go swimming)
...find a few things that we can do a couple at a time (ex: Mike and Ryan taking a bike ride, Kaylin and me baking together, Mike taking the big kids to Home Depot)
...pull out forgotten toys and games (ex: Slip 'n' Slide, tea party sets, puppets)
...make unplanned trips to the store for ice cream or decide to go out to dinner on a whim (very unlike us...we're planners)
...immediately stop productive activities to polish Kaylin's toe nails and play Wii boxing with Ryan
We started honoring Sunday as our Family Day about a year and a half ago. I think it started as a month-long challenge to see if we could avoid making plans on Sundays and just hang out at home all day without getting bored. Since then, it's become our favorite day of the week.
Here's what we try to do:
...avoid making plans or agreeing to outside commitments
...avoid the t.v. and computer (though lately the Cardinals game is usually on for a few hours, which is fine because Ryan and Kaylin end up watching it with Mike, instead of Mike zoning out while I care for the kids)
...find a few things that we can do throughout the day as a family (ex: go to the park, wander around Costco eating the samples, have a picnic, go swimming)
...find a few things that we can do a couple at a time (ex: Mike and Ryan taking a bike ride, Kaylin and me baking together, Mike taking the big kids to Home Depot)
...pull out forgotten toys and games (ex: Slip 'n' Slide, tea party sets, puppets)
...make unplanned trips to the store for ice cream or decide to go out to dinner on a whim (very unlike us...we're planners)
...immediately stop productive activities to polish Kaylin's toe nails and play Wii boxing with Ryan
...stifle our Type-A personalities and let the little things go
...have fun and laugh with each other...a lot
Here's what we don't do:
WE DON'T...have rules or guidelines about the day (our house rules still apply)
WE DON'T...have expectations of any kind, other than relaxing and enjoying the day together
WE DON'T...plan a bunch of things to do all day (ex: 10:15 paint, 11:05 go on a walk, 11:38 sing Kum-By-Ya)
WE DON'T...spend every minute of every hour together as a family
Most of the people I've spoken to about this have given me a dozen reasons why it won't work for them.
"There's only so much I can do with the kids before going stir-crazy."
"My husband will never go for it."
"I just have too much to do."
"I won't be able to stay off the computer for the whole day."
"Sunday is sacred NFL time for my husband...he watches games all day and I'd be alone with the kids."
"We have too much going on in our schedule to stop everything for a whole day."
So I decided to pose a challenge to you.
Pick a day on the calendar and decide to try your own version of Family Day. If your husband is too into football to engage with the family on a Sunday, choose a Saturday. Or if your kids aren't in school yet and your husband gets days off during the week, pick a Tuesday or Friday. It really doesn't matter when it is.
Don't make any plans that day. Nothing. That doesn't mean you can't leave the house, just don't agree to be anywhere at any certain time...even if it's to meet other family members. Make this day about just your little family unit: you, your husband and your kids. And your dogs if you want. But that's IT.
Vow to be media-free all day. The t.v. and computer can allow people to get in a self-focused zone, but remember that your cell phone can be just as big of a distraction. Anything that takes your attention away from your family, specifically your kids, should not be allowed on Family Day. Video games might also be a no-no for most people, but we play the Wii as a family, so we do allow limited (about an hour of) video game time. (plus, in our family, no one gets angry or irritable if they don't win, so it's positive time together)
Sundays work best for us because we can go to church on Saturday night, but also because Mike'sreally, really, really kind of into college football, which is an all-day Saturday affair.
Also, we purposely set aside time on Saturday to clean the house and run errands so that most everything is done on Sunday. (this summer, I posted about our Family Chores power-hour each weekend) We don't have looming projects hanging over our heads by Sunday...we're able to truly relax.
The other question I've gotten a lot is: What do you DO all day???
Our typical Sunday looks like this:
- Either Mike or I sleep in...we take turns. The other gets the baby up and fed at 7am. The big kids get up and play in their PJs.
- If I get up first, I usually make something fun for breakfast like Waffles, Crepes, Apple Fritters or Cinnamon Rolls. A while back, we went through a "let's go get donuts" phase, but that's over for now. If Mike gets up first, he usually makes pancakes or eggs.
- Mike and the kids make coffee, then Mike goes outside to sit on the back patio and drink his little cup coffee. If it's nice out, the kids will play outside while I clean up the kitchen. Otherwise, they stay inside and play. But this is a huge relaxation thing for Mike. Sometimes that transitions into yard work, sometimes not.
- While Mike's outside, I'm usually cleaning up breakfast, folding laundry or doing something else productive. Because I can't relax until the kitchen is clean and a few things are off my to-do list. That's just me.
- Around 10ish, Jason naps and the kids start getting bored, so we usually all play something together. A board game, the Wii, rolling a ball down the hall to each other...it just sort of naturally happens. Someone comes up with something and we all join in. Or some of us play while others watch.
- 11:30ish, Jason gets up and we all eat lunch.
- 12-1ish, we'll usually go somewhere or run errands. Or swim. Or play catch in the backyard. Or go to the park. This week, we went to the Pumpkin Patch.
- From 2-3, the kids usually have a quiet time in their room while Mike watches football and I catch up on stuff: meal planning, cutting coupons, recently scrapbooking, whatever. Jason's quiet time is always a nap, the big kids tend to fall asleep most days, too.
...have fun and laugh with each other...a lot
Here's what we don't do:
WE DON'T...have rules or guidelines about the day (our house rules still apply)
WE DON'T...have expectations of any kind, other than relaxing and enjoying the day together
WE DON'T...plan a bunch of things to do all day (ex: 10:15 paint, 11:05 go on a walk, 11:38 sing Kum-By-Ya)
WE DON'T...spend every minute of every hour together as a family
Most of the people I've spoken to about this have given me a dozen reasons why it won't work for them.
"There's only so much I can do with the kids before going stir-crazy."
"My husband will never go for it."
"I just have too much to do."
"I won't be able to stay off the computer for the whole day."
"Sunday is sacred NFL time for my husband...he watches games all day and I'd be alone with the kids."
"We have too much going on in our schedule to stop everything for a whole day."
So I decided to pose a challenge to you.
Pick a day on the calendar and decide to try your own version of Family Day. If your husband is too into football to engage with the family on a Sunday, choose a Saturday. Or if your kids aren't in school yet and your husband gets days off during the week, pick a Tuesday or Friday. It really doesn't matter when it is.
Don't make any plans that day. Nothing. That doesn't mean you can't leave the house, just don't agree to be anywhere at any certain time...even if it's to meet other family members. Make this day about just your little family unit: you, your husband and your kids. And your dogs if you want. But that's IT.
Vow to be media-free all day. The t.v. and computer can allow people to get in a self-focused zone, but remember that your cell phone can be just as big of a distraction. Anything that takes your attention away from your family, specifically your kids, should not be allowed on Family Day. Video games might also be a no-no for most people, but we play the Wii as a family, so we do allow limited (about an hour of) video game time. (plus, in our family, no one gets angry or irritable if they don't win, so it's positive time together)
Sundays work best for us because we can go to church on Saturday night, but also because Mike's
Also, we purposely set aside time on Saturday to clean the house and run errands so that most everything is done on Sunday. (this summer, I posted about our Family Chores power-hour each weekend) We don't have looming projects hanging over our heads by Sunday...we're able to truly relax.
The other question I've gotten a lot is: What do you DO all day???
Our typical Sunday looks like this:
- Either Mike or I sleep in...we take turns. The other gets the baby up and fed at 7am. The big kids get up and play in their PJs.
- If I get up first, I usually make something fun for breakfast like Waffles, Crepes, Apple Fritters or Cinnamon Rolls. A while back, we went through a "let's go get donuts" phase, but that's over for now. If Mike gets up first, he usually makes pancakes or eggs.
- Mike and the kids make coffee, then Mike goes outside to sit on the back patio and drink his little cup coffee. If it's nice out, the kids will play outside while I clean up the kitchen. Otherwise, they stay inside and play. But this is a huge relaxation thing for Mike. Sometimes that transitions into yard work, sometimes not.
- While Mike's outside, I'm usually cleaning up breakfast, folding laundry or doing something else productive. Because I can't relax until the kitchen is clean and a few things are off my to-do list. That's just me.
- Around 10ish, Jason naps and the kids start getting bored, so we usually all play something together. A board game, the Wii, rolling a ball down the hall to each other...it just sort of naturally happens. Someone comes up with something and we all join in. Or some of us play while others watch.
- 11:30ish, Jason gets up and we all eat lunch.
- 12-1ish, we'll usually go somewhere or run errands. Or swim. Or play catch in the backyard. Or go to the park. This week, we went to the Pumpkin Patch.
- From 2-3, the kids usually have a quiet time in their room while Mike watches football and I catch up on stuff: meal planning, cutting coupons, recently scrapbooking, whatever. Jason's quiet time is always a nap, the big kids tend to fall asleep most days, too.
- 3-5pm - Anything goes. If it's hot out, we'll swim or do something around the house. If the weather is nice, we'll usually do something outside.
- 5:00ish - Dinner. We usually grill on Sundays...Mike offers, I don't argue! Sometimes we go out to eat, sometimes we do something simple like smoothies and popcorn.
- 6:00ish - Lately, we've been doing movie night. Last night, I was crazy and decided we all needed to bake pumpkin-shaped sugar cookies. It made quite the mess and hyped everyone up right before bed, but the kids enjoyed it.
- 7:00 - Bedtime, as usual.
Family Day usually feels very long, but isn't that how it should be on the weekend? Most of us are busy, busy, busy all week and Family Day is the perfect excuse to stop and rejuvenate ourselves before we turn around and do it all again on Monday.
Even God took a day of rest...don't you think He might have been setting a precedent??
I know some people who honor the Sabbath so strictly that they'll prepare meals ahead of time in disposable containers so no one has to cook or clean. You decide what works best for you. But seriously, talk to your spouse and kids about giving this a try. Pick a date, block it off on the calendar and vow to relax and enjoy your family. I promise (I wish I could give you a money-back guarantee) ... you will not regret it.
- 5:00ish - Dinner. We usually grill on Sundays...Mike offers, I don't argue! Sometimes we go out to eat, sometimes we do something simple like smoothies and popcorn.
- 6:00ish - Lately, we've been doing movie night. Last night, I was crazy and decided we all needed to bake pumpkin-shaped sugar cookies. It made quite the mess and hyped everyone up right before bed, but the kids enjoyed it.
- 7:00 - Bedtime, as usual.
Family Day usually feels very long, but isn't that how it should be on the weekend? Most of us are busy, busy, busy all week and Family Day is the perfect excuse to stop and rejuvenate ourselves before we turn around and do it all again on Monday.
Even God took a day of rest...don't you think He might have been setting a precedent??
I know some people who honor the Sabbath so strictly that they'll prepare meals ahead of time in disposable containers so no one has to cook or clean. You decide what works best for you. But seriously, talk to your spouse and kids about giving this a try. Pick a date, block it off on the calendar and vow to relax and enjoy your family. I promise (I wish I could give you a money-back guarantee) ... you will not regret it.
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5 comments:
Sounds like a great day. Just out of curiosity, do you do any special religious activity = praying together or going to church? Even if we go to church on Saturday evening, we always plan some prayer time for Sunday.
We have a similar version of this at our house called FFD = Family Fun Day! Unfortunately we don't get to do it every week but we work in about 3 a month. Since our oldest is in school M-F and my husband is a pastor we are obviously busy all day Sunday. Saturday's enviably gets busy too because we have birthday party's and we often visit our family that lives 1.5 hours away. But we find some Saturday's (or holidays when my oldest is not in school, my husband luckily has a super flexible schedule and can always change his days around) and have a fun day we all spend together.
We just spend time doing things together all day that we don't usually all get to do together. We stay in our PJ's all morning, cook a big breakfast, do some little things around the house, play in the backyard with the kids, take a nap with the kids, or me and my husband watch a movie during the kids nap. Sometimes we will do a fun outing for the day, hiking and picnic, zoo, museum, etc.. Then we go eat dinner or grill at home. Then we usually have a family movie night. We all love FFD!!!
We do a similar version of this. And I love ours. We watch football all day with my parents (I love football as much as Erik.). But we say no to all birthday parties, with very few exceptions. We do go to neighborhood group, but I like that because we get to work in fellowship and reading the Word.
We relax, let the kids do what they want, have fun snuggling with them and altogether refresh ourselves for the week. We love Sundays.
Awesome challenge!! Hope you get lots of takers and people who give you feedback on how it went for them.
Our Sundays are also normally Family Days (without naming them like it), we enjoy being together, eating, walking, talking ...
I often say on Sunday evenings how I enjoyed the day!
It's great to have those days regularly - great post!
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