After 5 Years, Ryan GETS IT

This summer, we took about 5 weeks off of school. Kaylin and Ryan went to camp, we went to San Diego as a family, we had Ryan's birthday party, I spent some time regrouping for the new year at the Arizona Homeschool Convention, the kids enjoyed the break.

Even though most of the local school districts don't start school until next week, we began a couple of weeks ago. Which is tough when the rest of the kids are still playing video games all day long! But I muddled through the groaning and we are well on our way to getting back into our daily school routine.

The first week back was rough...really rough. Last week was a little better, then I heard a comment last night that I would have never expected in a million years. But first, some background...

We began homeschooling almost 5 years ago. Ryan (now 12) remembers school well and Kaylin (turning 10) went to Kindergarten so, of course, she remembers school very fondly. (recess, crafts and play time - YAY!!!)

Sporadically over the past 5 years, one kid or another will start grumbling about going back to school. I explain that we are homeschooling because it's what I feel God has called our family to do, they continue to make random comments, then the negativity fizzles for a time. Then another kid starts. It has seemed never ending!!!

This peaked last year when I had a very surprise pregnancy, followed by an even more surprising miscarriage. When I announced my pregnancy, my kids secretly decided that I would be stretched too thin with the new baby and that I'd probably send them to school. (I just learned about this misconception last month) So after healing from the miscarriage, my kids started in with major waves of discontentment with HSing. Again. It was maddening!

All this to say that last night, out of the blue, Ryan (who has given me the most grief about going back to school) told me that he thinks that if he went to middle school, he'd be miserable and want to return to homeschooling. I dug a little deeper and he explained that he is starting to realize how flexible our schedule is because of homeschooling, that he can do several lessons early in the day/week to have more free time later, that our schoolwork only takes a few hours each day vs. his friends who spend 6-7 hours in a physical school building then come home with homework. He is finally, FINALLY grateful that we homeschool.

I almost cried. I was not expecting to ever hear these words from this kid! Especially at this age when hormones are raging and his thoughts are so...opinionated. 

This conversation is going to linger with me for a very long time. Homeschooling can be so emotionally draining, then to realize that no one even appreciates the hard work makes it even more tough! THIS IS SO WORTH IT! And I truly believe this is right where God wants us to be. 

Today, I am on Cloud 9.

The Man of the House

This morning, I needed to keep everyone occupied while I cleaned the kitchen, so I asked Ryan to assist Jason with his favorite new dinosaur puzzle.

Jason loves this puzzle and I love that he's learning to appreciate a quiet, non-physical activity. For once! Jason worked diligently to find pieces that matched and Ryan seemed to be helping, until I heard him say, "Jason - drop the puzzle pieces on my head like RAIN!!!" (this huge puzzle only has 24 pieces...so each one is big and heavy) Jason was suddenly in the mood to be wild instead of playing calmly. Awesome. 

Before I could speak up, I heard Ryan yelp, "OW!!!" I pulled him aside and tried to help him understand the sequence of events that occurred up until he got hurt.

1. Jason is an extremely rough and tumble kid.

2. Everyone in the house hates how he destroys things and that he defaults to aggression while playing.

3. Knowing #1 and #2, I've intentionally been trying to redirect Jason to more peaceful activities, like puzzles.

4. Jason is finally engaged in an age-appropriate puzzle but can't complete it on his own yet. I sent Ryan over to assist and he encourages the lion-who's-playing-like-a-lamb to turn from his new ways and revert back to the old.

Is it shocking that Ryan ended up getting hurt? Not really. 

I didn't know how to get through to him that he needs to start acting more mature and responsible. The younger kids look to him to be more of an example and when he acts crazy, they see that as a green light to follow suit. Then the following words came out of my mouth:

"When Dad's at work, you're the man of the house. I need you to start acting like it."

Immediately, Ryan perked up. He sat up a little straighter. His head was a little higher. He heard me loud and clear. "I'm the man of the house?" 

"Yup."

For the next hour, Ryan meditated on this concept, both personally and aloud.  "As the man of the house...when Daddy's gone, of course...can I have more grown up responsibilities?"

"Hmm, like what?"

"Like staying home alone? And riding my bike to the grocery store to get food? Oh wait...how would I get it home on my bike...? Never mind about that last one.  Can I stay home alone?"

"When you start proving yourself to be responsible when I AM around, I will begin to trust that you are old enough to stay home alone. I'm not talking about behaving for just for an hour or a day...I'm talking about most of the time."

That thought took a minute to sink in.

We work on self-control a lot around her.  Our "We Choose Virtues" card explains it this way, "I make myself do the right thing. I am not wild, rowdy or disorderly and I don't expect others to control me."

Someday this will describe my boys. Someday I will look back on this post and breathe a sigh of relief that the rough and tumble days are over. In the meantime, I will consistently encourage my little guys to be more civil. Not to de-masculanize them, but to help them grow into the respectful young men God intends them to be.

(Lord, help me.)

  

I'm done yelling. Seriously.

Jason: "Hey Mommy - take a picture of me with my angry face" (notice his bed head that looks like devil horns)

I mentioned that I'm reading through the book "Unglued" with some friends, right? Yesterday's chapter discussed the idea of having an action plan for the moments of crisis that are inevitable to pop up in life.

The author gave the example of an angry passenger on an airplane. The flight crew is trained to deal with these and many other types of situations. They don't take rants personally, they don't become emotional, they stay calm, voices low and firm, giving a warning so everyone knows what to expect if things continue to escalate.

So why don't I do that??? Back when I used to volunteer in the kids classrooms (particularly pre-school), I was a master at handling crazy kids with composure. But admittedly, I'm out of the habit. I decided this morning that I need to start treating my children the way I would treat your children if they were in my home without you. I would outline the rules, explain the consequences of breaking those rules, give appropriate warnings, then follow through without being emotional about it.

Today I challenged myself to do that exact sequence. Hour by hour, I vowed not to raise my voice. I don't care that my hormones are raging, so what if rainy weather makes kids a little crazy, it doesn't matter whether everyone behaves like robots or not...I would never stand for anyone else speaking to my kids the way I have this week! It's unacceptable for others and it is absolutely unacceptable for me. I'm ashamed and embarrassed.

I shared this challenge with my best friend this morning and she offered some additional insight: when we (as parents) don't stay on top of issues of obedience, there's no grace left for the genuine accidents that all {clumsy} kids have.  If I follow through with making sure Jason goes upstairs the first time I ask and I'm not forced to restrain my frustration by attempting to calmly repeat myself 3-4 times, by the time he accidentally knocks into the water cup full of paint brushes and it spills on the table, I'm much more likely to respond with love and grace. If I'm already maxed out, any small incident could be "the final straw." (which is too often the case) 

I overheard Kaylin say to Ryan yesterday, "I spilled a little paint on my skirt," to which I just closed my eyes and shook my head (it was the 3rd paint accident in a very short time) but Ryan quietly responded, "Don't mention it to Mom right now or she might freak out again." He totally had my number! That is not how I want my kids to be talking about me behind my back, that's for sure.

Other things play a vital role, too...like whether I've gotten enough sleep and have been eating well.  Same goes for the kids; if they're tired or hungry, coming down off a sugar high or if they haven't had one-on-one time with me, they have their own short fuses to deal with. I can usually take that into consideration, but not when I have my own issues that cloud my judgement. 

My new plan of attack is this: First and foremost, start each day with prayer, asking God to help me control my emotions hour by hour, if needed. Next, speak to the kids with the same kindness and respect that I would someone else's children. Especially when we homeschool...I need to get back to the mental image of taking off my mom hat and putting on my teacher hat every day. Patience, patience, patience. Last, I need to draw a firm line in the sand about first time obedience. When I'm overtired or distracted or rushing out the door, I'm not good about following through to make sure the kids do what I ask of them. The big kids see this inconsistency and know when they can slack off. No more! Because later, when I realize they didn't hang up their coat when I told them to (or whatever), I'm more likely to raise my voice in shock and disbelief...WAY overreacting and WAY after the instruction was ignored.

I'm no longer going to get louder in order to feel heard in my house. My new goal is to stay calm and unemotional, following through with consequences immediately instead of half-heartedly throwing out requests for the kids to do this or that.

We need a major boot camp up in here. I started a little today and got quite a bit of resistance. Wish me luck...it's going to be loooong weekend!

 

Are You a Dream Crusher?

I overheard Ryan talking to someone today and the other person's contribution to the conversation broke my heart. I'm not going to go into details (I'd hate for this post to be read by the wrong person) but it reminded me of something that I've been wanting to share.

At the homeschool convention this summer, one of the speakers, Todd Wilson, spoke about fanning the flame of your child's dream vs. crushing their dream. (he also spoke to wives about fanning vs. crushing their husband's dreams, but that's a whole 'nother blog post) 

The example that he gave was of one of his younger sons (he's maybe 7 or 8 years old), who loves to construct things. He asked Todd one day, "How much does a jet engine cost?" Todd replied, "Oh I don't know, probably like a million dollars." The son looked it up on eBay and discovered that you can purchase a build-it-yourself, George Jetson replica jet pack for just $200. So he approached his dad again, "If I earn $200, can I buy and build a jet engine?" After deciding to encourage his (insanely dangerous) dream, his dad agreed. "Thankfully," Todd joked,  "all of his siblings are dream crushers and convinced him that I would NEVER let him build a jet engine, but I'm going to stick to my word. If he earns the money, I will just pray that he doesn't injure himself while he's attempting to fly around town in his homemade jet pack. And no, we are not taking donations for this little project."

If one of my kids came to me with such a request, I don't know that I would respond with such grace. Unfortunately for my household, Mike and I are a bit too realistic in our thinking. If it doesn't seem to make logical sense, it's a dream that will likely be crushed.

All this week, Ryan and his neighbor friend have been practicing a show to do for the neighbors. It is {admittedly} ridiculous, but they are so excited and proud of their hard work and effort. 

The show is about 3 minutes long and is perfectly coordinated. They have spent no less then 7-8 hours this week planning and perfecting this performance. Invitations have been hand-crafted and delivered to select households on our street. Ryan asked if I would bake cookies and make popcorn for the event. Blankets will be laid out so guests have somewhere comfortable to sit while watching the show on our driveway.

This has become quite the production.

I've been asked to watch them practice a few times and will admit that I blew them off today while I was making dinner or helping Jason or doing something-or-other. I tried to drop everything and watch when I was invited, but it often wasn't the best timing. The last time I watched, Ryan asked me to give them my honest opinion about whether it was good or bad, what needs to be worked on and if they should add more "tricks." They are taking this thing so very seriously.

I actually heard Ryan say, "What if we set out all of the blankets and have all of the snacks and only one person shows up?" Bless his little heart. Knowing who is invited, I'm going to text everyone in the morning to let them know how short the show will be and to beg ask them to interrupt their Sunday night to participate in the audience.

This is a sweet story and all, but my point is that I decided at the beginning of this process to fan the flame of Ryan's dream of performing this show for our neighbors. Although "why?" entered my mind, it was quickly followed by, "why not?"

It might sound silly, but I am actually pretty proud of myself. Especially since Ryan's other dream this week of creating a desk out of a refrigerator box has not come to fruition. (For a variety of reasons, which I won't go into, but lets just say that I'm not disappointed that a giant box hasn't invaded and cluttered up my house.  But I digress.)

Do you have your own dreams for your kids? Are they different from the dreams THEY have? Mike and I have struggled with this a little with Ryan. Mike loves football. A lot. Initially, Ryan was excited to play football, but it's clear that he doesn't have the obsession passion for it that his teammates have. They eat, sleep and breathe football. Outside of practices and games, Ryan rarely talks about football. 

Now Cub Scouts, on the other hand, is something that gets Ryan really excited. He cannot WAIT for his next den meeting or scouting activity. Mark my words, my kid is going to go all the way with scouts. Unfortunately for Mike, I doubt he'll go very far with football, but who's to say? He does love to play, but he doesn't spend his free time learning the plays or practicing his moves or studying the best teams on ESPN.

Do you fan the flame of the dreams of others or a dream crusher? As I evaluate myself, I think I tend to fan dreams that won't affect me in a negative way. I wish I naturally fanned everyone's dreams...my kids' dreams, my husband's dreams, my friends' dreams, all of them.

I will say that since hearing Todd Wilson speak, I'm faster to zip my lip of reason when people start dreaming out loud. I listen, I nod, and I try to keep myself quiet unless I'm asked questions.

I'm going to try to catch Ryan's show on video tomorrow night. And if I do, you know I'll post it for you.

Update: HERE is the link to Ryan's performance!

 

The Polar Express is coming. To our house. Tonight.

During dinner tonight, Ryan made a very exciting announcement:

Ryan: "When we were playing outside this afternoon, we heard a train horn.  And Morgan said it was probably The Polar Express. So when it stops at our house tonight...can we get on it?"
Mike: "Sure."
Me: "Absolutely!  If The Polar Express comes to our house tonight, you may absoLUTEly get on it."

(Ryan was so relieved that we agreed...then the excitement set in.  The horn, by the way, is the car horn of a man in the neighborhood who loves honking it as he drives around.  It sounds exactly like a train. We had no idea what it was until he drove by our house one day.)

Ryan: "So I need to stay up really late to wait for The Polar Express. Is that fine?"
Me: "Actually, if you remember from the movie, the boy was asleep when it pulled up to his house."
Ryan: "Oh YEAH.  And his whole room shook and that's what woke him up."
Me: "Exactly."
Mike: "In fact, if you're awake, it won't come. You HAVE TO go to sleep."
Kaylin: "Then we should leave out our robe and slippers. So they're easier to grab before we go out the front door."
Me: "Good thinking!"

(at this point, the kids were so excited that they could hardly sit still in their seats, let alone eat their dinner)

Kaylin: "Can Jason come?"
Me: "No, he's too young.  Plus, he probably wouldn't listen and obey the conductor, so we'll keep him at home with us."
Kaylin: "Okay. I wonder if they'll have cocoa...?"
Ryan: "Of course they'll have cocoa!  Remember the 'Hot! Hot!' song from the movie?  We'll get cocoa...and probably cookies...and we'll take the train all the way up to the North Pole to meet the REAL Santa Claus."
Kaylin: "Yay!"
Ryan: "And I bet I'LL get the first gift of Christmas."
Kaylin: "I'll get the second gift."

(while getting ready for bed, I overheard Ryan in his room)

Ryan: "Jason...now you have to be a very good boy for Mommy and Daddy.  Ryan is going on The Polar Express tonight and you need to be very, very good while I'm gone.  Okay?"
Jason: "Okay, Ry-yun."
Kaylin: "OH NO!  I don't have any slippers!!!  Will they let me on the train?!!?"
Ryan: "Yes, but you have to wear something.  It can't be flip flops, though.  Those aren't allowed."
Kaylin: "Let's leave everything out in the hallway."
Ryan: "MOM!?  Can we do a practice run?  Here.  You be the train. Make a train sound and we'll run out of our bedrooms and see if we can get our robe and slippers on in 5 seconds."

(Dry run ensued...turns out 5 seconds was too short.  We decided 20 seconds was plenty of time.)

Ryan: "Oh GREAT, Mom.  I just cleaned up my room and," (tears filled his eyes...I kid you not) "...when the whole house shakes, it's going to mess it all up!"
Me: "Don't worry, buddy.  I'll help you clean it up again."
Kaylin: "I'm kind of scared."
Mike: "You don't have to go if you don't want to, honey."
Me: "Remember the little boy, Billy, who almost didn't get on The Polar Express?  The conductor was fine with it...he wasn't mad at all."
Ryan: "But I'll be there, Kaylin, so you'll be fine."
Kaylin: "Okay.  I'll just decide when it gets here."
Ryan: "Mom, will the ticket just appear in my pocket?"
Me: "I have no idea...you'll have to tell me in the morning."

(Teeth brushed, robe and slippers moved around a few more times...taken OFF of the rail knob so the pocket won't rip, like in the movie.)

Me: "Ryan, can I talk to you for a second?"
Ryan: "Sure."
Me: "I want you to be prepared for the fact that The Polar Express may or may not come tonight.  Are you prepared if it DOES come?"
Ryan: "Yeah...we have all of our stuff ready to go."
Me: "Great. But what if it doesn't come? Will you be mad tomorrow?"
Ryan: (looking down) "No."
Me: "Will you be disappointed?"
Ryan: "Yeah."
Me: "I just want you to be prepared both situations.  The train may come.  Or it may not.  Are you okay either way?"
Ryan: "Yeah, I guess."
Me: "Alright, buddy.  If you do go tonight, remember to be safe and have fun. Be a good example to the other kids and make lots of memories, okay?"
Ryan: (blushing) "Okay."

(same conversation with Kaylin)

Mike: "Time for bed, guys."
Kaylin: "Daddy, will you come with us?"
Mike: "No, honey.  Remember in the movie?  The parents slept through the whole thing."
Kaylin: "Oh. Okay.  G'night."

I couldn't make this up if I tried. 

We have never had a conversation like this in our house before.  Mike and I generally aren't  the parents who go along with the fairy tale.  But tonight?  Both of us were in the mood to roll with it.

My kids love the magic behind Christmas.  And to think that I considered telling Ryan about Santa this year...?  I would have crushed him to the core.  He's already frustrated that I don't do The Elf on the Shelf.  Oh yes, I told him he's not real.  Don't worry...he knows to keep the secret.  But his friends are so convinced that he actually asked me if I'd move our elf around into fun, new places every morning, "...just like Jake and Joe and Lexi's moms do..." (For a reminder about why we chose not to do The Elf, see this post from last year...I still laugh every time I think about it.)

He's so not ready for the truth.  If Jack Nicholson were here, he'd tell me that Ryan can't handle the truth.  This kid is going to believe long after it's normal and healthy for a child to believe.

Just like his mama did.

All Things Are Possible With God

(...in the car yesterday after having Ryan's cast removed and getting his final x-ray...)

Ryan: "Mom? Why did God make us with skin?  Why didn't he just make us all skeletons?"
Me: "I'm not sure, honey.  Maybe you can ask Him that when you get to heaven."
Ryan: "Nah, I'll forget."
Me: "Maybe you could write it down somewhere...?" (selfishly thinking that I'd like to keep his "Questions for God" list in a scrapbook)
Ryan: "The piece of paper would be too small for God to read...like a tiny little crumb.  Oh wait, never mind...all things are possible with God!"

Even reading a piece of paper the size of a crumb!

"What is impossible with men is possible with God." (Luke 18:27 NIV)

Busy, Busy, BUSY

Well, hello there! Yes, I am still alive and YES I realize it's very unlike me to go more than a week without posting.  I've had time to write, just nothing really to write about. Nothing worthy of its own post, anyway.  SO here are snippets of what's been happening around here...

Much to my surprise, I'm actually enjoying our back-to-school schedule. With Kaylin being at Kindergarten from the moment Jason goes down for his nap until the moment he wakes up...well, let's just say that I have a lot more quiet time than I'm used to!  I've been catching up on absolutely everything. And Jason sleeps so much more soundly with the big kids out of the house!

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Ryan asked me to make waffles at 7:15 yesterday morning and I reluctantly agreed.  Unfortunately, the first batch wasn't done until he was supposed to be walking out the door for the bus stop, so he ate a granola bar as he rushed out the door instead of the waffles that HE was craving. 

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When I told Kaylin that she had her five year check up on Monday, she looked at me quite seriously and asked, "So they need to check to make sure I'm five?"  She didn't understand why Mike and I almost peed our pants laughing.

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Yesterday, the phone rang as Ryan got home from school.  I was upstairs and could faintly hear the front door close as I answered the phone.  "Hello, this is the Transportation Department.  Your son left Kaylin, on the bus and we don't allow Kindergarteners to walk home unescorted."  I looked down at Ryan, taking his shoes off at the bottom of the stairs and casually said, "So, um...where's your sister?"  Ryan looked around (like she was supposed to be hanging out somewhere) and freaked out as the man on the phone said, "If he runs to the next bus stop, we'll let her off there." And out the door he sprinted.  Kaylin seemed unphased and, when asked why she didn't get off the bus, simply explained, "I was looking out the window and didn't realize we'd come to our stop," while Ryan said that he thought he was still in first grade and walked home alone.  KIDS.

On Monday, some girlfriends took me to a belated birthday lunch at a great local restaurant (3rd Place Grill) that has free childcare.  Please don't judge me, but I guilt-less-ly brought Kaylin to school late that day.  When filling out the sign in sheet, I left the "reason for tardy" section totally blank.  What was I supposed to write? "...because I was selfish and had a magnificent 90 minute lunch with my girlfriends."  Hardly.  It's just Kindergarten, right...?

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This weekend, Mike's parents bought me a new lens for my camera for my birthday.  It's the same lens the photographer used for our recent baking photo shoot. (50mm f1.8) It is my new favorite toy!!!  I can get great bokeh at close range...

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I'm officially 35.  Too old to be young and too young to be old.  I don't feel 35.  But Kaylin announced last night that she FINALLY feels five.  Thank goodness...it only took eight days for her to feel five years old! 

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Speaking of birthdays, Kaylin's favorite gift was a pink digital kid camera.  This morning, I found said camera in my tub, speckled with water dropletts.  Upon picking it up, I realized that a certain toddler (I won't name names) ran water on my daughter's prized birthday present.  And it is now dead as a doornail.  I think I was as crushed as Kaylin was.  I don't like flushing money down the drain! Destructo-boy strikes again.

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My $500+ mouthguard is missing. (*sigh*) Jason tends to misplace items from my nightstand and I recently found the empty case on the floor.  We've all searched the whole house, including the trash cans, and can't find my stupid mouthguard anywhere, so I've been grinding my teeth again which is causing me morning headaches.  And I'm too cheap to buy another mouthguard. Curses!

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My dad's dad passed away yesterday.  We had lost touch and were never really tight to begin with, so I'm not broken up about it, but it's the closest I've been to death since 1987.  The really sad part is that he was a proud Atheist for the last few decades of his life.  What a hopeless way to die. 

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Yesterday, it was too hot outside for my kids to play at recess.  The weather has simply been unbearable here!  But I chose to let Kaylin ride the bus to school for the first time, despite the record-breaking heat index.  And when I returned home from the bus stop, I totally needed a shower.  These temperatures are really sabotaging my desire to cross #18 off my 101 in 1001 list, which requires hiking a steep mountain. 

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I need to get on the ball and potty train Jason.  He is so ready, but it's just so much easier to change a diaper a few times a day than it is to race him to the potty seat during meals, at the grocery store or while driving across town.  Ugh.  I just need to bear down and do it.  Soon.

(This was Jason after I caught him hiding in my curtains...he emerged smelling like a port-a-potty)

I think that's it.  A bunch of nothing, but my days are full and I find myself laughing at my kids a LOT lately.  With them, at them, same difference.  We all laugh together...does that sound less cruel???  I'm working on getting caught up on my Picture of the Day blog, so for those who follow that, check back in a day or two.  If you've missed my Meal Plans, you can also look forward to seeing those again soon.  I can't handle the thrown-together meals we've been having lately.  I'm over it.  And I have some fun new recipes to try.  Can't wait!

Mother's Day Memories, 2011

Chicken pox weren't going to damper our day around here, nosiree. 

Last night, a sweet friend agreed to babysit Jason while we went to church as a family .(it was a win:win - she wanted him to infect her kids and get chicken pox out of the way at her house, too) Before church, the kids showered me with balloons-on-a-stick, cards, flowers and gifts.

I don't want to ever forget my card from Ryan. Inside, was a $1 bill, likely because Mike's mom has been giving the kids money in holiday cards lately.  He was so proud to give me that dollar!  The flowers on the front were made from cupcake wrappers, folded in half twice, then tucked into a hand crafted stem.  Inside each wrapper was a written "coupon" for things like: help make a meal, clean my room, make breakfast and spend time together.  Adorable?  Oh yeah.

Inside the card was a note: "Dear Mom, Thank you for taking care of me.  Because if you did not, I would not live."  That's true gratitude right there.  According to my mom, I was dramatic like that, too.  Thank goodness that dramatic flare ended while I was young, right?

Ryan also completed a worksheet that was all about me:
- My mom is 34 years old. (he couldn't remember if it was 34 or 43...he guessed right)
- My mom weighs 100 pounds. (HAH!  I mean, he got that one right, too! He's wise beyond his years.)
- Her favorite color is blue.
- My favorite color is green.
- The best thing she cooks is spegety and metballs.
- I don't like it when she cooks rice. (when I asked about that, he said, "I should have put couscous, I forgot that I like rice.")
- Her favorite T.V. show is cooking.
- I'd rather watch Bubble Gubbys. (Bubble Guppies is a brand new favorite around here)
- If I could buy her anything in the whole world I would buy her a cook book.

Does my kid know me or what?  He must have peeked at the scale because 100 pounds is SPOT ON.  He also completed this acrostic...

"Most greatest, Often gives me chores, Thankful, Heart of love, Excellent, Ryan loves you." 

Be still my heart.

Kaylin wrapped her sweet gift at school.  The front said, "I love Mom because...you are nice to me and you play with me all the time."

Inside was a handmade, framed picture of us when she was polishing my nails at Mom's Night a couple of weeks ago.  She thought she picked out MOM stickers, but it actually reads MOA.  And the O really looks like a small Q turned upside down.  This is what I love about pre-school gifts!!!

Jason even scribbled colored me a picture.  I felt so loved today!  I got to go to lunch with my mom,  I took a huge, long nap, played around with pictures on the computer and didn't have to do a single dish or chore that I didn't want to do...it was just as Mother's Day should be.

My day ended with a nice oatmeal bath for my favorite, polka-dotted child.  When I wet his hair, I could see how many pox he has on his scalp.  He seriously looks like a speckled Easter egg, my poor boy!!!

Fear of the Elf

Have you heard of the book, "The Elf on the Shelf"?  It's a cute story that comes with a very retro looking elf.  The premise is that the elf sneaks off to the North Pole every night to tell Santa how the kids in the house have behaved. When the kids wake up every day, the elf is in a new place in the house (because Mom or Dad moved him). 

Well.  We don't have this book, nor have I ever told the kids the story.  But we have an elf.  He was handed down to us from my mom...she had many around the house when I was growing up and somehow, I ended up with one.  Just one.

As we decorated the house this weekend, Ryan found the elf and explained the story to Kaylin.  His friend Jake had explained it to him the day before, obviously having heard the story or read the book mentioned above.

Ryan told the story with passion and excitement.  His gaze turned to me for validation of his story, longing for me to verify that his facts were correct.

I responded passively, knowing that Mike wouldn't go for this charade throughout the rest of the month.  "Wow, that sounds interesting.  Wouldn't that be cool if it were true...?"

"It IS true, Mom.  Kaylin, I'm telling you the truth.  This is REAL.  He comes alive after we are asleep and he takes off his hat...only he can take off his hat...and he goes to the North Pole to report in to Santa.  Every house has an elf and this is ours."

Kaylin, listening cautiously to the tale, was suddenly scared out of her mind.  "Ifhecomestolife, whatifhecrawlsupthestairsandcomesintomyroom...and...

and GETS me?!?!?  Whatifhe...whatifhe...triestoHURTme?!?!?"

Me: "I promise, Kaylin, that if anything in our house ever tried to hurt you, we'd get rid of it.  Even an animal.  If we got a dog and it bit you, we'd give it away to keep you safe."

Kaylin: "How would you get rid of it?  The elf, I mean."

Me: "I'd throw it away in the trash can outside."

Kaylin: "But he could crawl out of the trash can." (making a crawling motion with two fingers, like the Yellow Pages symbol) "Up the side and then he'd lift up the lid with his little hands..."

Me: "This toy will not hurt you, honey.  I promise."

Kaylin: "Because he's a good elf?"

Me: "Um...yes. Sure.  That's it."

Fast forward to the next day.  Ryan noticed that the elf was on a different branch of the tree than he left him on.  Gravity moved that elf, because Mike and I did NOT.

(notice the elf on the right)

This completely freaked Kaylin out.  I comforted her again, reassuring her that she is safe in our home and that no one and noTHING will hurt her.

She wasn't convinced.

The next morning, she came downstairs DELIGHTED to find that the elf hadn't moved.  Then she admitted her secret plan: she took his shorts off so he would be too embarrassed to leave when he came to life.

This girl means business!

I laughed so hard, I almost peed my pants.

The next day, just to be sure this whole "elf" story was a hoax, she tried to take his hat off.  Because, according to Ryan's rendition of the story, only he can do that when he comes to life.

The poor elf didn't see it coming.  And surely he can't leave the house without his head screwed on...right?

Kaylin felt horrible for pulling his head off, but Mike was able to wiggle it back into place.  There has been no mention of the elf since the accidental decapitation. Hopefully, we can all just put this whole "elf" issue behind us for a while!!!

"Gimme, Gimme"

Sometimes the things that Ryan remembers shock me. Yesterday, a little friend of his was over to play. When I took some cookies out of the oven, she said, "OOH! Gimme! Gimme!" Without skipping a beat, Ryan said, "Don't be selfish. Play fair, have fun. Do what's best for everyone. There are enough cupcakes for everyone."

Cupcakes? Then it occurred to me.

I had to turn my back and stifle myself from laughing out loud. It sounded like a line from one of his books, and sure enough, it's a book called, "Play Fair, Have Fun" that he got for his birthday just a few days ago. How many times Mike's read that book in the last 5 days is a mystery, but the fact that Ryan had that line memorized was an awesome example to his friend.

The part of the book he was referring to was when a plate of cupcakes was brought out at a friend's birthday party. One of the kids in the story pushed her way to the table, trying to take two, shouting, "Gimme!" Then a friend said the line Ryan said above: "Don't be selfish. Play fair, have fun. Do what's best for everyone. There are enough cupcakes for everyone."

I'm still laughing about Ryan's rhyming response to his friend. The look on her face was shock, then a full understanding of how she came across. Priceless.

A few Ryanisms

I forgot the funniest thing overheard in our house last week. I can't believe I didn't include this, but it has to be noted.

We were having dinner with my mom on Friday night and were discussing middle and last names.

My mom asked Ryan if he remembers her last name. She tried to give him a hint by saying, "My name is Cindyyyyyyy..."

And Ryan said, "...rella?"

Yes. Her name is Cindy Rella. When the clock strikes midnight, her carriage will turn back into a pumpkin.

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For some reason, Mike agreed to let Ryan climb the scaffolding in front of our house. With his toolbelt on. And take his plastic hammer to the stucco. While Mike mowed the lawn and didn't WATCH him on the ladders. (!!!!) Freaked. Me. Out. But, of course, I had to grab my camera.

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Ryan's still in Pull Ups at night and we're trying to help him get up to pee so he can wake up with dry pants. Well, last night when I got him up before I went to bed, as we left his room, I said, "Close your eyes, it's going to be bright" because I had the hall light on. Once in the bathroom, he stood in front of the toilet with his hands folded. After a few seconds, I said, "Um, honey, what are you doing?" He said, "I thought you said, 'Close your eyes, I'm going to pray,' so I'm waiting for you to pray."

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On our most recent Family Day Sunday, Ryan had been bugging us to go swimming while we were out to eat. We told him that we already went swimming and that maybe we could play a board game when we got home instead.

As I got into the van in the parking lot, I hit my knee REALLY hard and was obviously in a lot of pain. (What is it with pregnancy and clumsiness???)

Out of no where, Ryan stopped asking to go swimming and said, "I know! When we get home, we should play Candyland!"

I said, "That's a great idea, buddy. Thanks for giving up on the swimming idea."

He replied, "Yeah, well I thought that would make you happy. If you're happy, maybe your knee will feel better." Ah, the logic...I love this kid.

Little of This...Little of That...

Got a lot in my head...have to get it out. Sorry for the randomness of this post!

I feel like my productivity of catching up from the Spring Cleaning challenge has come to a screeching halt. Not to mention that my once-clean, once-tidy, decluttered house is now a disaster. Due to all of the work being done on the exterior, we had to take all of our pictures off the walls and they're currently either stacked against the fireplace or piled on nearby surfaces. The residual dust that's creeping in through the unsealed windows is worse every day and I feel so discombobulated that basic tasks (like laundry and dishes) are sitting half-finished for way too long, just adding to the chaos. I think it's a "what's the point?" mentality. The house is a wreck, why bother making the kids pick up their toys? Why bother putting away the laundry? Why bother wiping off the counter? It is currently so much worse than it needs to be. I have some major clean-sweeping to do before I lose my mind. How did I let it get so bad in just a few days?

New subject, because thinking about my dirty house is stressing me out: Date Days. Mike and I have recently had a few date DAYS tacked on to our date nights. My mom has taken the kids overnight the last couple times she's babysat and instead of picking the kids up before lunch, she has kept them until after their naps, giving us an extra 3+ hours to ourselves. I have to say that enjoying the majority of the day with Mike without a "real" reason has been such a treat. We've gotten so many errands run, including shopping around for things for the house that seemed to get put off because of the kids' short attention spans.

Saturday, I have no idea what got into my husband, but he was a spending fool. Part of the reason was the huge dumpster outside our house. He wanted to take advantage of it and throw away our broken patio umbrellas and ripped, secondhand patio chairs. They were on their last leg last summer, but now that we're using the pool a lot, it's becoming obvious that they need to be tossed and replaced. Since we had time to shop around, we got some amazing deals. Mike got to experience a little of the "savers high" that I get when I save money on groceries. He was so giddy, he just kept spending: we went out to lunch, found a huge clearance sale and bought some Christmas gifts, he's even ready to splurge on a patio covering that I've wanted for the last 3 years. Of course, he can't put it up until the house is done, so that's a little premature, but he was itching to make the purchase.

Next random topic: it seems that overnight, Kaylin has started crying every time she wears anything but her flip flops. How fast do feet grow, anyway? I just bought her tennis shoes and now they're too small! These kids are going to make me broke. Time to pack up the size 7s and pull out the size 8 hand me downs until I can make it to the store...

We were watching Saturday Night Live last night (I think it was last week's show) and I have to say that as sick and wrong as they are, I love their Celebrity Jeopardy skits. They have categories like: Words Ending in "amburger," Black Comedians Named "Whoopi," How Many Fingers Am I Holding Up and Colors That Are Red. Last night, Tom Hanks made a cameo and was hilarious. The writers make the celebrities look like idiots, especially Sean Connery. I was going to upload the video, but some of the jokes are pretty offensive, so if you don't care about that stuff, you can watch it here.

All of that wasn't even why I brought up the show. During the Weekend Update segment, Seth Meyers mentioned that Kate from Jon & Kate Plus 8 reports that she and Jon are NOT splitting up (who else is sick of that drama on every newsstand??) but Seth's addition to the story was that TLC has announced two new shows in the fall lineup: Jon Plus 4 and Kate Plus 4. I cracked up! It was so funny. Really, it was. Okay, maybe you had to be there...

It was funny at the time, anyway. I just watched the newest Jon & Kate show and it was SO sad to see what they're going through. The paparazzi was stalking their kids' 5th birthday party, following them through the parking lot to pick out party decorations, it really disgusts me. The media always has, though. And during their interviews on the show, neither is denying that they may split up, so who knows. It's just so sad to see how quickly lives can change, even in people who love each other. So sad.

I never watch the Jon & Kate reruns (I think I've seen every show) but I happened to catch a few minutes of a "movie night" themed rerun one boring afternoon. Kate gives each child their own little cup of popcorn and puts surprises on the top for them to find as they're eating. (surprises meaning candy) I don't know why that never struck me the first time I saw the show - maybe because we just started doing movie nights around Thanksgiving. Anyway, I added a few M&Ms and some gummy worms (that were unopened from Ryan's Christmas stocking) onto the kids' popcorn buckets for movie night tonight and they were SO excited and appreciative. I know most of you think I'm a total food Nazi, so laugh at me if you must. I throw away so much candy in our house, it's crazy. I just never give it to them and they rarely ask for it. When I cleaned out my pantry a couple weeks ago, not only did I toss a bunch of Easter candy, I even found lingering Halloween candy. In May. I did get creative and chop up some chocolate bunnies last week when I ran out of chocolate chips. How resourceful am I???

Next random topic: Ryan thinks the word, "otherwise" is a bad word. I can see why he's confused and have tried to correct him, but he doesn't get it. The problem is that he'll say something like, "Kaylin, give me that toy back otherwise I won't play with you anymore." I quickly wanted to nip the threats in the bud, so I stopped him saying, "Ryan, don't say, 'otherwise.'" As a result, he'd respond with, "Kaylin, give me back the toy. I had it first." Appropriate, right? Well, he's now catching Mike and I saying, "otherwise" and tries to get us to stop. Tonight, Mike said something like, "I need to cook the burgers soon, otherwise we'll be eating really late." Ryan piped in with, "Daddy - don't say, 'otherwise.'" I explained (again) the idea of using otherwise before a threat versus just an explanation and I doubt he got it. But Mike is already sick of Ryan "catching" him in the act of saying the forbidden "otherwise" word.

Last thing: a close friend in Michigan just had her 4th baby this weekend and her son is the same age as Ryan...they'll be 5 next month. Talk about a challenge, right? Or so I thought. Well, they do natural births, so she was very surprised to learn that their newest baby girl has down syndrome. I'm so heartbroken over the emotions she must be going through right now. If you feel led, please pray for a quick peace for her and her family. They will be amazing parents of a special needs child, that's not the issue...it's just the shock of the news that needs to settle in and become their new reality, you know?

And being pregnant isn't helping matters for me. I was just mentioning to Mike yesterday that it feels like a while since I've felt the baby move, but it could be that I'm not paying attention. (I'm only 17 weeks, after all - the baby flutters that I feel are often confused with gas at this point!) Let's just say that I'm getting anxious to hear a little heartbeat next Monday, and to find out what we're having.

Whew! Now I think I'll be able to sleep tonight. :) I haven't had a good brain dump in a while. Felt good. Thanks for those of you who hung with me and read all of my nonsense!!!

Getting Bath-tized

I had plans tonight, so Mike took the kids by himself to the baptism of one of his co-workers. When I got home, he couldn't wait to tell me all about the "bath-tism." I thought it was a misunderstanding of how we pronounced the word "baptism," but after he said it correctly a few times in a row, he said, "But wait - I thought it was BATH-tism because it was kind of like she was taking a bath..."

My kid is the cutest. (and very literal!)