Teaching Children Self-Control

I'm recovering from a rough afternoon. The day started great...things were so quiet with Ryan back at Kindergarten. Kaylin colored, the baby cooed, I did a light workout on the Wii that we got for Christmas, I even ran to the grocery store before our play date with Kaylin's school friends at 10:30. All was well with the world.
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Until Ryan got home. Now, this is not all his fault, but going back to school after two weeks off meant there was some deprogramming that needed to happen when he got home. Same house, same rules. I also should mention that I took a dead-to-the-world nap for 30 minutes and woke up at 3:01, just moments before Ryan walked in the door from the bus stop. So yes, I was a little groggy and wasn't quite ready for his after school energy.
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I should also mention that (in an effort to keep my mom sane this weekend while she takes on the daily marathon of caring for my three children) I've been trying to "help" Jason fall asleep on his own without his pacifier. I put him to sleep with it, but if he spits it out or wakes up fussy, I don't put it back in his mouth like I was doing previously. Because what I've realized is that he can already go all night without food. He hasn't had a middle of the night feeding in over a week. That's the good news. But when he does wake up and cry, I've been getting up at 3am, 5am, whenever, and popping the pacifier back in his mouth so he can drift blissfully back off to sleep. I don't want my mom to have to do that. Waking up refreshed each day is going to be essential to her surviving this little adventure she agreed to take this weekend.
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I know not everyone agrees with the "cry it out" method, so I'm not trying to open up a debate here. Believe me...I hate it. I HATE this process. Hate. It. Ryan and Kaylin took a miserable two days of crying it out before I saw the fruits of my torture. And if I hadn't have seen progress at just that moment, I would have given up. I can't handle crying for any length of time. Pure. Torture. Especially when it's your own child!!! But I know the benefits: putting a sleepy, yet fully alert, infant in their crib to fall asleep on their own is incredibly freeing. Jason is now on day three of crying himself to sleep and I don't know if I can take this anymore. He's exhausted. I'm emotionally drained. And I'm so sick of hearing everyone ask, "Are you sure he's not hungry?"
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Okay, that was a tangent I was not expecting to take. Sorry! And please don't yell at me in the comments about what a horrible mother I am for letting my babies cry themselves to sleep for a few days of their lives. I can't handle criticism at this point in the process!
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Back to the point of my post. I am bound and determined to teach my kids self control. They (specifically Ryan right now) have a really hard time with certain boundaries and I'm suddenly more aware of the excessive complaining. It might be new, but I honestly think I might be finally realizing that they express their displeasure a little too often. So I'm ready to work on their heart attitudes.
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For instance, they decline real food but will whine that they're hungry and want a snack or sweet treat. I'm big on eating meals at mealtime and not grazing all day, so I'll remind them that the next meal is at X:00 and if they're hungry early, I'll serve them now. The newest one is "I'm bored." That showed up yesterday. It began as, "I'm lonely, will someone play with me?" and it turned into "I'm bored" yesterday when Ryan lost privileges to the Wii for a few days. THIS is why I'm so anti-technology. Somehow, Ryan has forgotten how to entertain himself now that he's experienced the wonderment that is the Wii. Which is the newest string of never ending questions, by the way. "Can I play the Wii? What about now? Now, Mommy? Can I play it now?" It's as bad as, "Are we there yet?" over and over in the car.

How hilarious is this picture? Kaylin was literally cheering the guys on as they played Wii boxing last week.

I'm so sick of the complaining. I want to raise children with a grateful heart and an attitude of contentment. I completely see how this correlates to teaching self-control. Just because you're bored, doesn't mean you need to say it out loud. Find something to do, get creative, be content with ideas presented. If you're truly hungry, an early dinner should sound delicious. No need to beg for a snack or another alternative or my new favorite, "I'm hungry for a Hershey's Kiss." Uh huh, sure you are.
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I recently read up on teaching your child self-control and found this site that offers age-by-age suggestions. I was specifically looking for ideas on how to get Kaylin to stop screaming when she's upset at Ryan. "Kaylin, no screaming," "inside voice, please" and "use your words" are mantras around here. Anyway, this bit of the website caught my attention:

By learning self-control, kids can make appropriate decisions and respond to stressful situations in ways that can yield positive outcomes. For example, if you say that you're not serving ice cream until after dinner, your child may cry, plead, or even scream in the hopes that you will give in. But with self-control, your child can understand that a temper tantrum means you'll take away the ice cream for good and that it's wiser to wait patiently.

I've mentioned this before, but my "no" always means "no." Yes means yes, no means no and maybe usually means no. And if I say, "not now" or "maybe later," and they continue to pout, I take away the privilege altogether. I'm not a fun mom when it comes to that stuff! I don't give in with whining and begging, so it always shocks me that my kids (especially Ryan after FIVE years) still continue to plead for me to change my mind. Granted, Ryan's five. Kaylin's only three. I know that they're still little, but I'm so over the argumentativeness. (wow, that's a long word) I'm ready for agreeable children. Again...CONTENT children. It's so important to me.
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I feel like I'm doing my part. I'm a fairly consistent parent, sometimes to a fault. I usually take time during teachable moments and explain how they should properly respond. I try to set the example of what contentedness and gratefulness look like. I point it out in others. I gently remind them, "the answer is no, don't ask again," when I see the injustice in their eyes.
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Typing this all out is making me realize that I'm hoping for too much from them at this age. They're BOTH just so...stinkin'...persistent. It's enough to drive me crazy!
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And today, day three of my cry-it-out battle with the baby, I am emotionally exhausted from it all. But I think I'm still going to choose this area to work on this week. Somehow, they've established the bad habit of complaining and I'm done listening to it. That's really what it is: a habit that needs to be broken and redirected.
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I'm open to hearing wisdom from the other parents out there. What's worked for you?