Fear of the Elf

Have you heard of the book, "The Elf on the Shelf"?  It's a cute story that comes with a very retro looking elf.  The premise is that the elf sneaks off to the North Pole every night to tell Santa how the kids in the house have behaved. When the kids wake up every day, the elf is in a new place in the house (because Mom or Dad moved him). 

Well.  We don't have this book, nor have I ever told the kids the story.  But we have an elf.  He was handed down to us from my mom...she had many around the house when I was growing up and somehow, I ended up with one.  Just one.

As we decorated the house this weekend, Ryan found the elf and explained the story to Kaylin.  His friend Jake had explained it to him the day before, obviously having heard the story or read the book mentioned above.

Ryan told the story with passion and excitement.  His gaze turned to me for validation of his story, longing for me to verify that his facts were correct.

I responded passively, knowing that Mike wouldn't go for this charade throughout the rest of the month.  "Wow, that sounds interesting.  Wouldn't that be cool if it were true...?"

"It IS true, Mom.  Kaylin, I'm telling you the truth.  This is REAL.  He comes alive after we are asleep and he takes off his hat...only he can take off his hat...and he goes to the North Pole to report in to Santa.  Every house has an elf and this is ours."

Kaylin, listening cautiously to the tale, was suddenly scared out of her mind.  "Ifhecomestolife, whatifhecrawlsupthestairsandcomesintomyroom...and...

and GETS me?!?!?  Whatifhe...whatifhe...triestoHURTme?!?!?"

Me: "I promise, Kaylin, that if anything in our house ever tried to hurt you, we'd get rid of it.  Even an animal.  If we got a dog and it bit you, we'd give it away to keep you safe."

Kaylin: "How would you get rid of it?  The elf, I mean."

Me: "I'd throw it away in the trash can outside."

Kaylin: "But he could crawl out of the trash can." (making a crawling motion with two fingers, like the Yellow Pages symbol) "Up the side and then he'd lift up the lid with his little hands..."

Me: "This toy will not hurt you, honey.  I promise."

Kaylin: "Because he's a good elf?"

Me: "Um...yes. Sure.  That's it."

Fast forward to the next day.  Ryan noticed that the elf was on a different branch of the tree than he left him on.  Gravity moved that elf, because Mike and I did NOT.

(notice the elf on the right)

This completely freaked Kaylin out.  I comforted her again, reassuring her that she is safe in our home and that no one and noTHING will hurt her.

She wasn't convinced.

The next morning, she came downstairs DELIGHTED to find that the elf hadn't moved.  Then she admitted her secret plan: she took his shorts off so he would be too embarrassed to leave when he came to life.

This girl means business!

I laughed so hard, I almost peed my pants.

The next day, just to be sure this whole "elf" story was a hoax, she tried to take his hat off.  Because, according to Ryan's rendition of the story, only he can do that when he comes to life.

The poor elf didn't see it coming.  And surely he can't leave the house without his head screwed on...right?

Kaylin felt horrible for pulling his head off, but Mike was able to wiggle it back into place.  There has been no mention of the elf since the accidental decapitation. Hopefully, we can all just put this whole "elf" issue behind us for a while!!!