How's not yelling going?

Has anyone been wondering how I'm doing with the whole "no yelling" challenge? Well let me tell ya: It's going quite well, thankyouverymuch! Not perfect, but it's rare if I raise my voice once every few days anymore. I think I'm getting a handle on my reactions!

It's a good thing, too. Because I'm seeing different angles of things that used to send me over the edge. For instance, a few weeks ago, I was making dinner and the kids were playing in the garage. All of the elements of dinner were ready to be pulled off the stove at the same time when suddenly, my doorbell rang. Then again. Then againandagainandagainandagain. I knew it was Jason, but instead of swinging the door open and barking, "Stop it. NOW!" I opened the door gently, expecting to calmly squat down and remind him to ring the doorbell only once.

But when the door opened, I found my beaming son with a flower in his hand. "Mommy, I picked this flower JUST for YOU!!!" burst out of his mouth with pride.

(Be still my heart.)

Had I come unglued because of the relentless, back-to-back doorbell ringing, my sweet son would have hung his head and walked away, crushed. That memory would be one of me feeling guilt and shame instead of love and appreciation.

I was proud that I paused and set my frustration aside to use the annoying opportunity as a reminder of courtesy and respect.

Another example that I think I handled well (or at least better than I would have in the past) happened the week after Easter. After his "nap", I walked into Jason's room to find empty eggs and candy wrappers everywhere. Dozens of them.

Me: (inhaling all of the air in the room) "Jason - did you eat all of your Easter candy?!?!?"
Jason: "It wasn't mine."
Me: "I don't care whose it was...did you eat it?"
Jason: "Hmmm..."
Me: (in a warning tone) "Jason Matthew..."
Jason: "I'm not gonna lie...I'm jus' thinkin'..."

I tried to hide my smirk, but he caught me and burst out laughing. How am I supposed to teach this kid lessons when he cracks me up?

At night, Jason is now in the habit of coming out of his room to have me fix his diaper. He calls the closures "the pokes" and he needs me to readjust them after he wiggles around in his bed for a while. This drives Mike nuts. Is he stalling bedtime? Possibly. But when I undo his diaper, it's always red and scratched in the place where he's complaining. He's a big boy and physically, it's time for him to be out of diapers. But, unfortunately for everyone, he's not ready. And diapers don't come in size 7. There's no use getting mad at him for being too big for his diapers. I just expect that he's going to come out of bed every night for me to loosen it a little bit so he can be comfortable for bed. 

It's not always easy to keep my cool and I'm not always able to hold my tongue, but being conscious of my tone and my heart attitude has made a huge difference around here. I want to consistently be in a place of delighting in my kids instead of being put out by them.

Have you taken the "no yelling challenge"? If not, try it today. Then tomorrow. Figure out your triggers and try to eliminate them as much as possible. Take it one day at a time until you retrain yourself to respond differently. It could completely change the tone of your home!