Couch Time

Those of you who have read any of the Baby Wise books have an understanding of "Couch Time." The concept is to spend 10-15 minutes with your spouse, near (but separated from) the kids, to make your marriage a priority. Spending this time together in front of the kids shows them that their parents still love each other and helps them feel more secure, in addition to giving them a chance to play on their own for a little bit without mom and dad entertaining them.

A friend of mine has a different kind of couch time. Every night, she and her husband have a standing appointment to meet on the couch at 9:00. They talk, catch up, watch tv, reconnect, just spend time together as a couple.

Lately, Mike and I have been doing our own thing at night. When I watch t.v. or read, he catches up on the computer or practices his guitar. When I'm on the computer, he's watching shows on t.v. that I'm not into. (specifically 24, Flash Forward and recent playoff games) It feels like we rarely hang out together during the week anymore.

So Monday night, we adopted my friend's version of couch time. We're early birds, so we set our time for 8:00. This gives us a few minutes before meeting together to do our own thing if we want, because we're getting more disciplined about making sure the kids are done with stories and prayers and their doors are closed at 7:30.

It's going well so far. Tuesday night, I was exhausted and Mike had a headache, but I purposely went downstairs at 8:00 and he paused the Suns playoff game so we could catch up from the day. We chatted for 15 minutes or so, then I completely wasted spent about 20 minutes watching the game with him, since I know he likes that shoulder-to-shoulder bonding time.

I'm excited to get back to reconnecting at night. I think we stopped spending time together when I tried not to get into the new season of certain t.v. shows. It has resulted in him watching lots of DVRed shows all alone downstairs. (I know - how sad, right?)

There aren't many shows that we watch together. (The Office, Modern Family, Parenthood, and World's Strictest Parents, to name a few) Hopefully this 8:00 nightly appointment will benefit us as a couple. I thought I'd mention it, just in case someone else wants to give it a try!