Feeling...Blah

This week has been a very blah week for me. I've been feeling overwhelmed with unpacking from our California trip, doing mountains of laundry, Cub Scouts and football starting up again, Bible studies starting up again, taking Kaylin to tumbling, taking Jason to the doctor for a cough which turned into a referral to an allergist (another appointment?!?!), dentist appointments for me and Ryan, and not to mention that I'd like to workout, shower and sleep and...oh yeah! I'm supposed to fit in educating three children. 

Before all of this began on Tuesday, I committed to a 90 Day Challenge from Bikini Body Mommy. Believe me, friends...I need it! After a calorie-laden vacation and an exercise-free summer because of my stupid cast, I'm more than ready to get my body back. Unfortunately, "my body" has never been a bikini body, but I want MY body back none-the-less.

The first steps to begin the challenge were to weigh and measure myself, then (*gulp*) take "before" pictures in a bikini. 

Folks, I haven't squeezed into a bikini in nearly a decade. Why would I? The only person who sees my belly is Mike and he doesn't care if it's tan or not! But I did it. Reluctantly, and mostly because this BBM chick Brianna was very bossy and told me (er, um, everyone) "don't skip this step!" So I did it. 

And I was instantly depressed. Not depressed, just...disheartened. Well-designed clothes cover up all of the imperfections that a bikini puts on display. Even though I see myself naked every day after showers and while getting dressed, the reality finally hit me. It looked like someone dressed me up in a fat suit. 

As the week progressed with doctor appointments, putting our house back together after our trip, shuttling kids to meetings, practices and birthday parties...I have felt quite overwhelmed. I gave myself a break by calling in helpers to clean my house yesterday, so at least we're not living in filth, but this week has still taken a lot out of me. 

All the while, I've been feeling really down on myself. With every decision of what to eat throughout the day, I'm reminded of how uncomfortable I am in my own skin. So I turn around and remind Mike so he can join in on the emotional battering of my spirit. 

But he hasn't taken the bait. In fact, for some strange reason, he has been wearing these rose-colored "I think you look great, honey, you need to stop being so hard on yourself," glasses for months and months and months. His unconditional love and encouragement has been the only thing keeping me sane.

I'm going to stick to this Bikini Body Mommy's workouts (since mine clearly haven't been doing a darn thing all month) to see if I can regain some of my muscle tone and shape again. My body responds really well to exercise and rebels when I become lazy. And I have become lazy.

If things go as planned over the next 90 days, I will show you the horrendous "before" bikini pictures (because I know the human nature in you is dying to see my imperfections in gory detail) with the smokin' hot "after" bikini picture right next to it.

So I've officially put it out there...I'm doing this. I'm reducing my portion sizes, I'm increasing my weight training, and I have every intention of adding jogging into my cardio routine. No more pity parties! It's time to attack this issue head-on.

Let's do this thing!

(BTW...if you want to follow along with the BBM's 90 Day Challenge, "like" her page on Facebook to see her daily workouts and encouraging tips along the way. And no, I'm not getting a kickback for endorsing this girl. She has nearly 56K followers...I'm quite sure she doesn't care about my referrals!)