Q&A Wednesday - Kindergarten Advice

Teresa asked, "Any advice for a mommy who has a child going to Kindergarten?"

Every Kindergarten experience is so different.  Depending on where you live, your school might have full or half day, a great school district or a mediocre one...it's so hard to say.  It's a huge adjustment for most five year old kids.  I remember when Ryan went to school, there were all-day Kindergarteners falling asleep on the bus on the way home each day.  It's an overwhelming transition and a long, exhausting day! 

In the beginning, expect your child to come home from school hungry and burned out. (it's worse on Thursdays and Fridays than it is on Mondays and Tuesdays)  As soon as my kids are home from school, I go through their backpacks while they have a snack and some downtime.  For the first 30 minutes, we talk about their day, who they sat by at lunch, go through highs and lows, look through paperwork that came home with them...basically let them decompress a little before diving into homework.

I started Ryan doing his homework at the kitchen table.  Until he could read instructions, homework was very parent-lead.  Now, we have a homework desk that is stocked with pencils, a pencil sharpener, scissors, glue, markers, etc. 

The biggest thing I'm going to focus on with my new Kindergartener is having a good attitude.  She's a really good kid, especially when she's away from home, but she gets her feelings hurt easily, so I'll work on strengthening her confidence for sure.  (Girls can be so snotty and I dread that drama!) When she comes home with a bad attitude, I expect to deprogram her from what is (much more widely) acceptable at school, guiding her back on track with the way things are done in our family and in our home.

That being said, I guess I'd recommend that you start with what you require of your children at home.  We have a list of House Rules that our kids know they are expected to follow whether they are at home or away, with us or in someone else's care.  When I first developed our list of rules, we went over them every morning at breakfast for weeks, even months.  Then when a rule was disobeyed, I'd quote the exact verbiage from the list, cementing the concept into everyone's head even further. 

Whenever you send a child to a new environment, I would recommend focusing on the principle of "Do what's right, even when others don't and even when no one is looking."  That single idea encompasses so many decisions kids (and adults!) make every day.

Explain to your child that when other kids talk back to the teacher or test the boundaries, they need to stand firm and "do what's right."  When they have the opportunity to cheat on a test, they need to "do what's right."  When a child on the playground is excluding someone else from playing, yours should include them because it's the right thing to do.

Everything can be a teachable moment.  But don't wait for situations to arise and smack you in the face...be proactive and go through what-if scenarios to set your child up for success beforehand. 

This parenting thing is tough! Even more when the kids are away from home for eight hours a day, being introduced to new attitudes and behaviors.  On the positive side, for kids who are out of control, starting school can really ground them. The social pressures of sitting still during story time, walking in a line to the library and following directions in general can be such a blessing for some parents!!!

I hope that answers your question, Teresa.  Get excited for Kindergarten...it's a great transition into big-kid school and your child will mature SO much in the next few months.  I'm getting teary-eyed just thinking about it...