#63 - Research buying contacts online to save money

Nothing like waiting until the last minute to take care of this item on my 101 in 1001 list! I am down to my last disposable contact for my right eye and realized I should probably hurry up and order more ASAP.

I actually talked to Mike about getting Lasik surgery, but he's taking a while to make a decision, so I decided to at least order one box of contacts for my right eye, since that's what I need right now.

Being that we no longer have vision insurance, I knew whatever I paid for contacts would be 100% out of pocket. I did some research and found the prices to be pretty comparable. I checked 1-800-CONTACTS (which had free shipping over $50), CLE Contacts (free shipping over $100 with progressively higher discounts for ordering with them repeatedly) and Lens World (free shipping over $99).

Mike suggested I also check Costco, and sure enough, they were significantly cheaper. However, they required a current eye prescription, which would have required me to get a $75 eye exam. $75 at Costco was cheaper than $125 at my regular eye doctor, but the $75 added into the price of the contacts bumped the total price to $9 more than the highest online site. (for a year's worth of contacts)

I ended up going with CLE Contacts because my mom has had a positive experience with them for the past few years. Personal recommendations never hurt!

They asked me the name and phone number of my eye doctor, and even though my last exam was in October of 2008, I just received the email confirmation that my contacts are on their way, so apparently they don't care that my prescription is expired.

Next time I'll probably go ahead and get an eye exam at Costco to make sure my eyesight is the same, but for now, I'm fine using an old prescription. Contacts are expensive enough without vision insurance...I don't need to add on an eye exam for them to say, "Yup - everything's the same!"

I know I'll miss this

I read something last week that gave me a new perspective on my current phase of parenting. A new-found ability to be patient with my kids. A renewed appreciation for the chaotic moments that occur in my daily life as a mom.

My friend, Lisa, wrote a post linking to a story of a mom with five kids under five titled, "I'm gonna miss this."

If you have a minute, head over to that blog and read the whole post. Basically, the writer talks about a moment she had a few years ago that changed her forever. She realized that too soon, her kids will be grown and she will miss all of the little things that seem to send us over the edge every day.

I read the story and was so moved that I forwarded the link to Mike. Then the little kids woke up from their naps, Ryan came home from school, and the whirlwind of my life resumed. The words I had read were quickly forgotten.

Actually, that's not completely accurate. Later that afternoon, as I was driving down the street, hearing Ryan ask a gazillion nonsense questions and Kaylin whine about being hungry and thirsty and Jason fuss because I'd woken him early from his nap, I thought, "Hmmm...I doubt I'll miss THIS..."

The next day, I walked downstairs to a typically busy Thursday morning. The kids were helping Mike make his lunch for work while simultaneously packing Ryan's school lunch. Remnants of formula and bottle guts were strung across the counter. Someone had abandoned their attempt to set up breakfast for the family, leaving cereal boxes, an open milk carton, bowls and spoons everywhere. The makings of sandwiches (bread, mayo, turkey and butter knives) were scattered all over the kitchen table, not to mention the left-behind crumbs. The kitchen looked like a bomb had gone off.

Then Jason began squawking, impatiently waiting for his breakfast.

As everyone cheerfully went about their business, my chest started feeling tight, my palms were sweaty, my breath shortened and my fuse became short. Kaylin sang her way through the task she was completing, "I'm putting away the turkey...the turkey...the turkey. I'm putting away the turkey..." Jason's shouts for attention became more insistent. Mike directed Ryan to get his shoes on and backpack ready before continuing what he was doing.

No one was doing anything wrong, yet I felt my stress level rising. I finally blurted out, "Can everyone just eat breakfast without talking so I can get Jason fed and quiet and attempt to put this kitchen back together and get myself something to eat, pu-lease???"

The room was immediately silent.

Until my darling husband looked at me smugly and said, "By the way, that article you sent me yesterday was great."

I shot him a look. "I'm sure that's supposed to be a jab of some sort, but I'm so overwhelmed right now, I don't have a clue what you're talking about."

"Don't you remember? The 'I'm gonna miss this,' link?" he replied.

I tried to think of something witty to say, but my mind went blank. I just grunted and turned away as his words set in.

"Someday I WILL miss this," I thought. (That probably sounds cheesy, but that's honestly what went through my head at that exact moment.)

It was then that I truly got it. I understood exactly what the author of that post was talking about. Again, no one was doing anything wrong. Everyone was in great spirits, no one was fighting or tense or having a rough morning. (as I apparently was) It's not their fault that I have an anxiety attack when I can't see the tops of the kitchen counters. How dare I take my personal stress out on my sweet, unsuspecting family!

It was as if a light switch had been turned on in my head. My heart rate decreased, I took a deep breath and my tention disappeared.

And for the rest of the day, actually...the rest of the week, I was able to enjoy my family again.

I don't know the woman who wrote that inspirational post, but I hope I never forget her story. I am so sick of how quickly my tensions rise when everything doesn't go exactly as I planned it in my head.

I'd love to look back at this post someday and think, "I don't even remember what it's like to be that Type-A!"

I think I need a 12-step program. "Hi. My name is Katie. (Hiiiiiii, Katie...) And I'm a recovering uptight mom with a Type-A personality. I haven't barked at my kids in 47 days..."

Q&A Wednesday - To Spank or Not To Spank

Tracey asked, "I have often read in your blog that you use the "time-out" method of discipline. I wonder what you and Mike think about spanking? As a Christian we know that the Bible tells us: "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him." Proverbs 22:15. I, myself, have never spanked my kids, nor do I ever think that I can bring myself to do so. My husband, on the other hand (although having never spanked them yet) believes it is something that we should do (in the right context and NEVER out of anger). Just curious as to your thoughts on the subject."

Ahh, yes. Spanking. How have I been able to avoid this controversial subject for more than three years???

Let me start by saying that I know there are two very different viewpoints about spanking, so if you're going to comment and give your opinion, please remember to be nice and respect the opinions of others. If your comment is too nasty or offensive, it may be deleted.

With that said, I'm happy to share what we do in our family. (*deep breath*) I'm bracing myself for the backlash...

Yes, we do spank. (I think I just heard a few of you gasp out loud)

We call it a "swat." Now that the kids are older and able to know right from wrong, their consequence is more often a time out or they have privileges taken away. But when they were younger and trying to learn boundaries, they got more swats than they do now.

When we first got married, Mike and I were exactly where you guys are, Tracey. He agreed with spanking, I did not. Ironically, now that we have kids, I am home with them all day, so the punishments usually seem to come from me.

I began changing my position on spanking when Ryan was little. When he started to crawl, we did very little "baby proofing" in our house. Instead, when our kids become mobile, we choose to let them know what is and isn't acceptable to play with. Being that Jason is now crawling and gnawing on everything within reach (it's suddenly like having a puppy) I'm going through this for the third time.

For example, instead of moving the DVD player up high or gating Jason in to a certain "safe" area of the house, we let him explore his surroundings, explaining what is a "no."

Yesterday, when Jason grabbed for the cable cords that fall next to the tv, I firmly tapped the back of his hand with two fingers and said, "NO." When I let go of his hand, he grabbed for them again, so I tapped his hand a little harder, then I moved him away and put him in front of his toys. He hasn't messed with the cords since. Not to say that he won't ever try to play with them again, but for now, he knows that they're a "no."

I DO baby proof for safety reasons, like covering outlets and locking cabinets that hold cleaning supplies, but that's about it. I also purposely keep plastic containers in the lower cabinets of my kitchen and breakables above the counter. It's not like I have crystal vases on my coffee table that I'm trying to keep away from little hands.

Moving on to when my kids were toddlers, we went back and forth between time outs and spankings, depending on the offense. I feel like we did time outs if they broke a rule or had a tantrum and needed time to cool off, then we spanked for deliberate disobedience.

For example, if I said, "come here," and they ran the other direction, they would get a swat. If they just stared at me instead of coming to me, often I would give them a warning and say, "If you don't listen and obey, you will get a swat." That was usually enough to get them to comply. But if they didn't, I had to be willing to follow through with the punishment 100% of the time, otherwise they would constantly test to see when I was telling the truth.

Around three years old, they really start understanding what is expected of them. It's around that time that they get a little more self control and are a little less impulsive. With my older kids being four and six, we do more time outs (in their room with a timer, no longer in a "time out spot" downstairs) and far less swats.

There are certain things that get a swat every time. Lying is one of them. We have a zero-tolerance policy on lying and the kids know that if they lie (specifically after having the chance to come clean) they get a swat every time. If they tell the truth after some prodding, no swat.

Occasionally, we also swat for safety issues and I'll threaten the kids with a swat during a warning if I'm really trying to drive the point home that something I'm saying is non-negotiable.

For those of you who are ready to send me links and research about how kids who are spanked turn out to be violent adolescents, don't bother. I realize the studies that have been done and our final decision to give the occasional swat comes down to this: both Mike and I were spanked as kids and it worked on us. In fact, I'd venture to guess that almost everyone reading this post was spanked as a child, and when done in the right context (for the purpose of correction, not because the parent lacks self control) I believe it has it's place in the younger years of most children. Some kids will be unfazed by spankings, others might be too sensitive for physical discipline. You need to determine what works best for your family.

Now that I've cracked down on myself with the whole definition of obedience issue, I haven't given a single swat. (Well, except that Ryan did lie twice last week. UGH...I can tell he's back in school and testing his boundaries again.)

It's funny...last week, I sat Ryan down and explained the new expectation of first time obedience without any discussion about it. I actually apologized to him for letting him get into such bad habits, I accepted full responsibility and told him that it was going to stop immediately. He replied, "It's okay, Mom. Wait...what?" I explained that he now needs to "obey first, then we'll talk about it," instead of trying to constantly talk his way out of every instruction before complying.

One thing I'd recommend while deciding how to discipline your children is to evaluate their personality and individual temperament. Ryan has always "taken his punishment like a man." When I'd swat his hand as a little guy, he wouldn't flinch and certainly wasn't deterred from doing whatever I was trying to stop him from doing. Sure enough, he's still unbelievably persistent to this day.

What works better for him, being that he's so incredibly talkative and social, is isolation. Time outs downstairs used to work, but they had to be in another room, away from us. That was his torture. For bad attitudes and other minor offenses, we now send him to his room. I don't mind that he can play in there during his "time out," because the goal is to get him to change his attitude. But if the punishment needs to hit him a little harder, I'll have him sit on the landing of the stairs, out of sight from the family, yet away from anything to entertain him.

Kaylin's a little different. She's much more sensitive and seems to be personally wounded every time there's the possibility of a swat. She, too, has always been this way. When I'd tap her hand as a crawler, her lip would quiver and she'd look at me like, "Well that was just MEAN!" But she hardly ever needed a reminder of what was a "no" in our house. I quickly realized that a verbal warning was enough for her. Her tender little heart just breaks when she gets a swat, and the purpose of the punishment is lost in her emotion. So she doesn't get many swats at all. She still tests us, but she's more of a people pleaser by nature.

I know this is supposed to be focusing on spanking, but here are a few things have helped us make time outs work, especially when the kids were young...

1. Have a specific time out spot in your home, maybe even on each floor. (meaning upstairs, downstairs and the basement) That way, when you say, "Go to time out," they know where to go.

2. Set the timer for one minute per year of the child's age.

3. Expect them to stay in the time out spot and sit there quietly.

4. If they have a tantrum or cry, the time doesn't start until they are quiet.

5. This is a big one: if they talk, the time starts over.

For Ryan, I couldn't get him to not talk in time out. The not talking aspect is the biggest part of the punishment for him. I began by adding a minute to the timer every time he spoke, but Mike got sick of it one day and started the timer over each time. It seemed too extreme to me, but clearly my way wasn't working. Sure enough, he stopped talking in time outs within a day or two.

Wow, this was long. Sorry, I guess I could have just said, "Yes, we use time outs and we also spank, depending on the offense," but I just can't ever seem to be that concise.

I know some of you have strong opinions about this issue, so please feel free to leave a comment. Just remember: BE RESPECTFUL!!!

100 followers and 150,000 hits

I'm a numbers girl, so it gets me a little giddy when I see that I have exactly 100 followers (through Google friend connect, that is) and my counter is sitting at 149,999 hits.

And YES, I am fully aware that I am a geek.

It amazes me that I felt like my goal of getting 100,000 hits by September, 2011 (the 101st goal on my 101 in 1001 list) was so far fetched, yet as soon as I view this published post, I'll probably be the 150,000th hit.

Update: In fact, I WAS the 150,000th hit and (of course) I just had to take a picture.

I wish I could fly out and hug each and every one of you to THANK YOU for reading my nonsense every day. Especially my follower(s) in Australia. And Switzerland. And New Zealand and the UK. And the Northern Mariana Islands sounds just lovely. And of course I'd love to visit my oldest friend in The Netherlands. And my new reader in Kenya. (Yes, I see you out there! I even peeked at your blog and you are an inspiration...washing your clothes by hand? I have a whole new perspective and hope I never complain about laundry again.)

Anyway, to all of you dear readers, near and far...THANK YOU!

XOXOX

PS - I've had several people request that I add an option on my blog to have my posts emailed to them directly and I have NO idea how to do that. Is anyone out there a technical genius who wants to offer to walk me through how to add that little widget???

Such a great birthday

I woke up this morning to the sounds of two giggling children storming my bed with homemade cards. They also brought me breakfast in bed, up the stairs all by themselves, on our "You are special today" red plate. I truly felt special.

I went downstairs to thank the maker of my eggs and toast and saw fresh flowers on the counter that Mike sneaked in last night after going to the movies with a friend. Awwwww...


We sent Mike and Ryan off to work and school, then I took the little kids to the gym. It felt like any other day, except that once I returned home and peeked at my computer, I had dozens of Facebook birthday wishes, not to mention texts and birthday songs on my voice mail. I felt so loved!

For lunch, my mom took me and the little ones to Sauce.

Then after finding the perfect bra, my mom babysat while I redeemed my birthday gift of a pedicure and manicure. You know it's bad when I joked with the gal on the other side of the table, "I haven't had a manicure in SO long. Seriously...it's been years. My cuticles are probably a mess, right?" and she just silently glanced up at me with a pity smile.

For dinner, I didn't have to cook or clean. We left that up to the lovely people at Chipotle. We returned home to share a cookie cake.

And finally, to top off my awesome birthday, my mom and a couple of my dear friends and I went to see a comedy show called, "3 Blonde Moms." I hit #53 on my 101 in 1001 list again!


I might have even been treated to a fun fruity drink while I was there. (Thanks, Mom!)


Such a great birthday.

#100 - Find the Perfect-Fitting Bra

#100 on my 101 Goals in 1001 Days is complete! I found the perfect bra (for my body) at Victoria's Secret, of all places. I assumed I'd lost my Victoria's Secret boobies a long time ago...

An employee had to size me, since I had no idea what size I was after nursing my three babies. As she was wrapping the measuring tape around my t-shirt covered chest, she said, "My name's Veronica. What's yours?" My reply? "I guess if you're about to feel me up, we may as well get to know each other, right? 'Hi, I'm Veronica. Now that we've met, I'm going to touch your breasts now.'" She was so flustered that I knocked the professionalism right out of her. ;)

I went in expecting to purchase the "Sexy Tee" bra, but it was on sale, so they had a limited selection, which didn't include the color I wanted. After trying on a tray full of their most popular bras, I ended up going with "The Naked." (I sure hope I don't get a bunch of randoms finding my blog through Google searches because of the words in this paragraph!)

Unfortunately, my perfect bra cost $10 more than the one my friend recommended, but oh well. You can't put a price on "perfect," right??? (not exactly a correct statement, but you know what I mean) I can't wait to wear my new bra tomorrow!

Q&A Wednesday - Kindergarten Mom Concerns

Yesterday, Carrie asked, "Does Ryan ride the bus to/from school? Or do you take him? My Evan started Kindergarten and insisted he wanted to ride the bus each day. So, we let him. He seems fine, but I notice he occasionally seems sad if he doesn't get to sit by a certain friend. I don't know why I'm having panic attacks about this! But I'm worried about it. I don't want anything to crush his little spirit! He's a shy kid anyway and a young 5. Do you think it's a first time Kindergarten mom thing? I've tried talking to him about it...sometimes you'll get to sit with who you want, sometimes you won't. I guess I'm concerned that academically he's ready for all of this, but I'm super sensitive with the social aspect of it. Okay...tell me I'm over dramatizing this!"



First, I have to share with you that I was always young for my grade (my August 19th birthday barely allowed me to turn six before 1st grade) and I was not socially traumatized. I do remember having many friends who were in the grade below me, especially in elementary school. I naturally gravitated toward neighbors who were a year younger in school and even remember being friends with a few of my classmate's younger siblings. Evan may not have that same tendency, but I just thought it was worth mentioning.

As for Ryan, yes, he does ride the bus. He begged me on the first day of Kindergarten to begin riding home the next day, which surprised me. We lucked out last year because our school requires that Kindergartners sit in the first two rows of the bus and have the same assigned seats every day. So there was never "who will I sit by" drama. He's already riding the bus three days into this school year and knows so many of the kids from last year that he doesn't care where he sits.

To answer your last question bluntly, YES - I do think this is a first time Kindergarten mom thing. Kicking your baby out of the nest and hoping they fly is not easy! If you work on building up his confidence at home, especially if he's naturally shy, and give him social guidance for when he's away from you ("If no one asks you to play at recess, try asking another boy if he wants to play kickball,") I'm sure things will mellow out soon enough. For both of you!

Personally, I think you're doing just fine. Spend lots of time talking to him about the high and low points of his day and offer suggestions about how to handle the tough situations. He'll learn soon enough that he can't always get his way. Teachers and kids at school don't accommodate personal preferences like we do at home!

It took a few months for Ryan's class to work out it's social kinks last year, but by the holidays, everyone knew everyone and Ryan found new kids to sit by and play with when his moody "best friend" decided to have a mean day.

It's hard for us, especially moms, to watch our kids struggle. But the thing that I've realized lately is this: if I step in too often or too quickly, I may rob Ryan and Kaylin of an opportunity to strengthen their character. If you think about it, most of the obstacles we faced as children probably shaped us into the people we are today.

Just breathe. And pray. Pray for wisdom and guidance in how to parent your little Kindergartener, then make every attempt to let go of things that are completely beyond your control.

Anyone else have any advice for Carrie???

The Definition of Obedience

I often talk about things that I'm working on with the kids...habits we're trying to break, new habits we're helping them get into, rules we want them to follow, character traits we want to see them develop...my list is always growing. But it was brought to my attention this weekend that I need to stop every area of focus until we get one issue under control.

OBEDIENCE.

I recently read an excellent, very basic definition of obedience from the writers at Biblical Parenting. It was simply stated, "doing what someone says, right away, without being reminded."

First time obedience is very important to me and Mike, yet all of our efforts to get consistent results from our kids seem to eventually fail.

I want to raise children who respect authority (parents, friends' parents, babysitters, teachers, future employers) and as it is now, they pick and choose when they respond to adults in obedience.

And I believe this is 100% our fault.
(Disclaimer: If your children don't listen to your instructions the first time, don't read into this post as me blaming you for their behavior. I am strictly talking about me and my household. I'm not judging others and how they raise their children, I'm just ready to fix my own family.)
My kids are not naturally compliant. Ryan likes to have an element of control in his life and that often involves negotiating the how, what, when or why of what he is told to do. And Kaylin is quickly learning this art of disagreeing and negotiating.

I just remembered a post I wrote this time last year about encouraging disobedience. Hmmm...this topic is coming up annually at the beginning of each school year, isn't it? Likely because their teacher is a new authority figure and I want my kids to listen and obey in school without arguing or bad attitudes.

I digress. So what am I going to do about it?

I've developed a zero-tolerance policy regarding disobedience.
Several times in the last few days, I have reminded the kids of this new definition of obedience. (FYI: I added "with a happy heart") I have them repeat each section of the definition after me, "Obedience is...doing what you're told...right away...with a happy heart...without being reminded."

I am thrilled (and, quite honestly, shocked) to report that my kids have been completely transformed.

The expectation is that when I ask them to do something, they do it immediately without arguing or negotiating. Period.
First time obedience has been on the forefront of my mind every time I make a request this week. There are a few reasons that I think this is suddenly working for us.

1. I remind the kids of this new definition every morning and a few times during the day.

2. When I make a request, I expect them to drop whatever they are doing and comply.

3. If they don't respond immediately, they get a warning (I calmly repeat the definition of obedience, making every effort to stay unemotional), then if they still don't comply, there is a consistent consequence (again, unemotionally and confidently, they are sent to their room for 6 minutes {Ryan} or 4 minutes {Kaylin} and I increase the time by one minute each time they refuse, whine, pout or throw a fit), then after the consequence, they are still expected to do what I originally told them to do. If they don't, I repeat this step until they do what they're told.

4. When they complete the task, I give them lots of kudos. (I think in the past, I was so relieved they did what they were told without arguing that I overlooked this part)

5. When they cheerfully obey, right away, without arguing or needing to be reminded, they are rewarded. (sometimes tangibly, but more often I simply make a big deal about it in front of others, telling them how proud I am, hugs, praise, etc.)

I truly believe that the key factor in Ryan and Kaylin doing what their told is me. Kids will always try to push the boundaries, but when adults consistently hold their ground, compliance is inevitable. It's the bottom line in reality parenting shows like Super Nanny and World's Strictest Parents. Not to mention institutions that require immediate obedience like the military. If Ryan ever enlists in the military, this obedience training will save him tons of reprimands and hundreds of push ups!

Now if I could just keep this up for the long term, my kids will be angels. (I think I can...I think I can...)

Recipe Database

I know I'm going to get some eye-rolls and snickering for this post, but for my fellow Type A personalities, I feel compelled to share this idea. I just sent a copy of this to my BFF (who doesn't hesitate to tease me for my OCD ways) and even she thinks it's genius.

So what am I talking about? I'm so glad you asked.

Whenever I have a random ingredient leftover from a recipe, I try finding another recipe to use up the rest of that item. (i.e. cilantro, mushrooms, seasonal vegetables from the co-op) Sometimes I find a use for the leftovers, but often I give it away to a neighbor or worse, throw it away after it goes bad.

I decided to make myself an Excel spreadsheet of all of my go-to recipes for easy reference. I pasted the list of main dishes from the recipes section at the top of my blog into the first column of Excel. As an added bonus, it pasted the links to each recipe. Then I typed most of the ingredients into the rest of the columns in groups (meat, vegetable, sauce, etc).

I planned on stopping there and just doing a key word search based on the ingredients I wanted to find, but my Excel-genius husband peeked over my shoulder and offered to set up a database of the items in each column. He created a drop down menu under "meat," for example, and I can click on "ground beef" and all of the recipes with ground beef pop up. Or I can search for both chicken and green beans and all recipes with both ingredients appear.

This little spreadsheet is awesome. And I want to share it with the world...

Recipe Database

This is the first time I've ever attached a document like this, and I don't know why, but the pull down menus next to each category disappears when I saved it to Google Docs. Hmmm...I'll have to mess with it. But hopefully that gives you an idea of what I'm talking about.

When I have time, I'll do more research and figure out how to attach it so you can save the spreadsheet directly onto your desktop. Does anyone know how to do that?!?!

In the meantime, if you download the spreadsheet to your desktop, the recipe links won't hyperlink, but I can walk you through how to set up the database.

- Highlight row 3 by clicking on the number 3 on the far left side of the screen
- Click on the "Data" pull down menu
- Click on "Filter" then select "Autofilter"

That should give you a little arrow next to each category in the third row. Click on the arrow and select anything from the list below. You can add or delete recipes, ingredients, anything you want. It's going to be a handy little feature!

Butterfly Birthday Cake with Ladybug Cupcakes

For Kaylin's butterfly birthday party today, I decided to attempt a butterfly cake. It turned out great and wasn't as difficult to make as I thought!

I made one box of cake mix in two 8" round cake pans and let them cool. They were the base for the "wings." Two Twinkies were put in the center for the butterfly's "body." (Quick tip: I put wax paper under the edges of cakes before frosting them. Any sloppy frosting gets on the wax paper, which is easily removed, instead of the serving platter or tray.)


To make the tops of the cakes flat, I took a serrated knife and sliced off the rounded tops.

I sliced the cakes in half, horizontally, a little more than half way down each round cake. Then I separated them to look like giant Pac Mans. Um, Pac Men - ? You get the idea...

Then it was time for the "crumb coat." If you've never heard of a crumb coat, it's a thin layer of frosting that catches all of the crumbs. Stick the cake in the fridge or freezer to let the crumb coat set, then frost the cake the way you want it. (I thought you'd be able to see all of the crumbs in this picture, but it didn't turn out as clear as I expected.)

It didn't look right to me, so I sliced off the corner edges of the "wings" and handed the scraps over to the kids. Much better...


The final frosting color didn't turn out the way I wanted. I ended up with leftover red frosting from the ladybug cupcakes and tried adding blue to make purple, but it turned out this weird, plum color. Oh well, no one seemed to mind and it all tastes the same, right?

I debated over how to detail the poor, plum-colored butterfly and decided on piping the edges (it hid the sloppy frosting job), bummed some giant Wilton confetti dots from a friend, added a face and pipe cleaner antennea and called it, "done."


And how cute are the ladybug cupcakes? They were so easy. Chocolate cupcakes, red frosting (using lots and lots of food coloring), brown M&Ms for the spots and mini Oreo cookies for the head.

Just those items alone didn't seem detailed enough, so I threw some chocolate frosting in a Ziplock bag, cut off a teeny corner, and drew a line down the center to create more of an illusion of wings.

Since I had the chocolate frosting out, and some of my brown M&Ms mysteriously disappeared, I played around with making my own ladybug spots. Hmmm...not nearly as cute.

I dipped cookie sprinkles in frosting to stick to the Oreo for eyes, dabbed on some chocolate frosting eyeballs, and added some red frosting to a Ziplock to make the tiny smiles. I think they turned out great!

I'm so glad I took pictures yesterday. Not only would I have forgotten, but the red frosting melted all down the paper liner this morning during the party. If you look closely at the picture at the top of the post, several of them are bleeding! That's what I should have expected on a 100+ degree day, I guess...

Kaylin's Butterfly Birthday Party

We celebrated Kaylin's 4th birthday with some of her friends this morning. Months ago, she told me she wanted a butterfly party, so I kept my eyes open for fun ideas.

I had to begin the party at 9am to get everyone out of here in time to take Ryan to his last basketball game at 11:30. As the kids arrived, they painted butterfly, flower and dragonfly suncatchers. (PS - the stain is called that for a reason. My white shirt escaped unharmed, but my kitchen counter did not. What was I thinking?!?!)

Then the kids played "pass the present," where the kid holding the present when the music stopped got to unwrap a layer of tissue. The prize was butterfly sunglasses, of course!

For snacks, we had butterflies made out of apple slices and pretzel rods (with peanut butter as "glue" - you can use cream cheese if there are allergy issues), butterflies made out of celery stalks and mini pretzels with raisin heads, and veggie straw "worms," too. I saw a fun idea to put grapes in a snack sized Ziplock and tie the middle with pipe cleaners, but I ran out of time, so I threw all the grapes in a big bowl. Everything can't be butterfly themed, right???




After snacks, the kids colored on white coffee filters with markers. We sprayed them with water, let them dry, and wrapped pipe cleaners around the middle to make more butterflies. I had magnet tape to adhere to the back, but just realized that I completely forgot about it. Oops...




Before everyone left, we loaded them up with sugar. (I hated giving them cake at 10:30am, but it was unavoidable!) The butterfly cake was a hit, but the drippy red frosting on the ladybugs was yet another huge mess. This was the messiest party I've ever been to and I was the one who created all of the drama!


Party favors consisted of pink butterfly headbands and wands for the girls and bug catchers for the boys. (This was one benefit of knowing the theme early...I found these back in June and haven't seen anything nearly as appropriate since then.)


The most important detail was the Kaylin had a ball. Last night at dinner, she prayed, "Dear Jesus...thank you for my birthday party tomorrow and that it's going to be all about me. I can't wait. Amen."

#92 - Let the kids make most of the decisions for an entire day

Somehow, this item on my 101 Goals in 1001 Days list turned into "Let the kids be in charge for an entire day." And today was that day...

When planning our meals on Friday, Ryan suggested brownies for breakfast. Kaylin quickly piped in, "OOOH! And I want ice cream for breakfast!" I decided it might be a good idea to set some boundaries. Breakfast food for breakfast, lunch food for lunch, dinner food for dinner. Also, the kids had to follow all of our House Rules, plus Mike and I were in charge of everything "safety" related. (cooking, picking up Jason, an adult had to be present for them to swim or ride bikes in the front yard, things like that)

For breakfast, Ryan requested crepes, but Mike talked him into wanting apple fritters, too. I passive-aggressively made some eggs and (thankfully!) everyone ate those to balance the sugar/carb overload.


Jason enjoyed a breakfast of mangos and his first kiwi.


With no one to stop her, Kaylin licked the icing off the fritter plate. Shortly after this picture was taken, the plate mysteriously disappeared into the sink and was rinsed off...


The kids took a mid-breakfast break to watch some t.v. before finishing their food. They also took a post-breakfast t.v. break. And pre-lunch...the t.v. was pretty much on all morning. (This is Kaylin dancing to the "we did it" song at the end of Dora.)


After a while, the kids took a break to color.


Then Kaylin asked if she could do her "homework" workbook. (I just realized her tongue is out in this picture...classic!)


After lunch, everyone swam.


After that, Jason went down for a nap and I snuck back into bed myself. I felt like I'd been drugged...I was so tired! After dragging myself out of bed two hours later, the rest of the (cool and breezy) afternoon consisted of riding bikes out front and swinging in the backyard. (While I was sleeping, it appears that Kaylin had a wardrobe change.)


This morning, Ryan asked if we could teach him to cook dinner, so the kids helped Mike make up hamburger patties and wrap the potatoes in foil. They lost interest by the time we were ready to prepare the corn on the cob.


While Mike grilled dinner, Kaylin played with her new-to-her, hand-me-down Princess laptop.


And the boys played soccer in the backyard. (By the way, to save face for my poor, former soccer playing husband, this was Mike missing a shot Ryan made into his goal, not Mike missing a ball that he attempted to kick.)


Jason basically spent the whole day playing on the floor and practicing his crawling stance, oblivious to the chaos happening around him.


We finished off the night with another swim, then ate black bean brownies with ice cream. (Kaylin helped me bake while Ryan played the Wii. Again.)


This day exhausted me. Because of the excessive t.v. watching, I was able to clean the whole house, do three loads of laundry and even rearrange and sweep the garage.

But as far as the little things (like clearing the table and picking up toys), I didn't realize how I've gotten SO used to the kids helping me all day! Today, I asked nothing of them.

After a cocktail (a rare treat for me, I prefer chewing my calories) and a long bubble bath, I am enjoying a quiet house as I recap our day. I will definitely do this experiment again, but probably not until next summer. Maybe it could be an annual end-of-the-summer tradition?

It was interesting to see how our teachings from 364 days of the year translated when the kids had (nearly) full decision making power. I had to remind Mike to "let go" several times today (too much honey on the crepes, no end in sight for the t.v.) but I really enjoyed having a day off from being the "No Nazi." (I just came up with that and it's exactly how I feel some days!!!)

Overheard in our house today...

Kaylin (with a sly smile): "After breakfast, Mommy and Daddy, YOU need to unload the DISHWASHER!"
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(The kids were arguing over who was going to sit next to Daddy during breakfast. Kaylin suggested he sit in the middle of them, Ryan was standing firm that he needed to only sit by Ryan.)
Mike (to Ryan): "Good leaders try to find ways to make everyone happy. It doesn't always work, but they try. Bad leaders try to take control and they don't care about other people. They are called, 'Dictators.' "
Me: (cracking up)
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Kaylin: "Daddy, you can have two donuts (apple fritters), then if you finish those, you can have another one."
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(Jason screaming for attention)
Mike: "Jason - NO screaming."
Ryan: "You can't say, 'no,' Daddy. You're not in charge today."
Me: "Who is the person in charge who's going to go give Jason some new toys so he stops screaming?"
Ryan: "I AM!!! I'm in charge of Jason today."
Kaylin: "Ryan, if Jason screams again, just tap him on the nose and say, 'No!'"
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Ryan: "We don't have to ask to be excused from the table today because we're in charge!"
Kaylin: "Yeah, THAT'S the rule!"
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Ryan: "After breakfast, we're going to ask Morgan to play. Because we can."
Kaylin: "Ha!"
Ryan: "You can't say, 'ha,' Kaylin. That's rubbing it in the face."
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Ryan: "Morgan, do you want to play the Wii?"
Morgan (whispering): "Shouldn't you ask your mom?" (she knows I usually say, "no" and suggest they play something creative)
Ryan: "Nope! I don't have to...I'm in charge today! What do you want to play?"
Morgan: (glances at me, I smile)
Morgan: "I don't care, what do you want to play?"
Ryan: "You get to choose. You're the guest."
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Ryan: "Mom, can you teach me how to make dinner tonight?"
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Kaylin: "Mom, can you teach me how to do braids in my hair all by myself? OOH!! And can you teach me how to drive?!?!"
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Ryan (coming into our bathroom before bed): "Dad, where's Mom?"
Me (from the bathtub): "Behind you."
Ryan (whipping around): "What?!!? Why are YOOOOOUUUU taking a BAAAAAATH?!?"
Me: "Because it's been that kind of a day, buddy."
Ryan: "And how come you get all of those bubbles? You'd better be careful and not burn your toes on those candles...maybe you should put your feet back in the water. Can I have a kiss before bed?"
(*kiss*)
Ryan (thinking): "One more?"
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(my favorite memory of the day)
Ryan: "Mom? What's the sign for 'love?' "
Me: "This..." (crossing my arms over my chest in an X)
Ryan: (pointed to himself, crossed his arms, then pointed to me)
Me: "I love you too, buddy..."