Our House Rules

Another Friday re-run. This was originally posted on July 16, 2009 and we STILL have this list displayed on our fridge!

I've watched enough Super Nanny to know that it benefits everyone in the house to put some "Family Rules" in writing. Well, after writing out our Family Mission Statement, I decided to go over it with the kids, so they know our goals as a household. Then I quickly realized it is too complicated for them to understand at this age. So I updated and simplified our House Rules and typed them up to display on the fridge. They align perfectly with our mission statement and are all things we are either currently struggling with or have struggled with in the past. Having this list in print also gives me a reference to go back to when I need to remind the kids of a certain behavior, and it keeps my mini-lecture short and consistent every time, instead of using different words or examples and potentially confusing or overwhelming them.

I thought I'd post these just in case it inspires some of you to sit down and create your own house rules. They will likely mold and change over time, but putting something down on paper gives them much more power than just having them in your head. Saying, "No arguing, Ryan. Remember: it's a house rule," impacts him much more quickly for some reason. It's almost like, he understands the concept of rules being non-negotiable...they are what they are.

* Listen and obey the first time – say “Yes Mom” or “Yes Dad”
* Be respectful – no talking back or arguing with grown ups or guests
* Use your words – no whining, pouting or bad attitudes
* Be honest – no lying, ever
* Love each other – no hitting, biting, pinching or scratching
* Be kind and joyful - treat others how you want to be treated and be respectful of others and their belongings
* Be grateful – you get what you get and don’t throw a fit; no arguing or complaining
* Use manners – no interrupting when others are talking, inside voices in the house, say, "please," "thank you," and "excuse me."
* Be generous and considerate – share and take turns, let others go first, don’t be selfish with toys or games
* Do what is right – even when others don’t or when no one is looking
* Work out differences using soft words – no screaming, whining or tattling
* Look for ways to serve others with a happy heart

Q&A Wednesday - Being Flexible with Dinner

Julie asked, "Do you ever spontaneously go out to dinner, during the week? Even though you have meal planned and even half-prepped and then lost your taste and motivation?"

Ironically, just moments before receiving this question, I thought, "I'm kind of in the mood to go out tonight. I wonder if Mike would be up for that?" Then I changed my mind because the lasagna was all made and just needed to be popped into the oven.

I've found that our dining budget has been significantly lower since I began meal planning way back when. Before that, I called Mike at least once a week to see if we could eat out. Not when a meal was half-prepped, but usually because I couldn't figure out what to make and wasn't in the mood to be creative. Usually if I have a plan and have started making the meal and the end is in sight, I don't want to "waste" a valuable night out.

I will say this: every so often when Mike is in the mood to eat out and I have a dinner plan in mind, I will actually request that we stay home to eat. Partly because it screws up my master plan, but also because (again) I want to save our dining budget for a night that I'm too exhausted to cook.

Our monthly dining-out allowance is pretty lean, so when we do go out to eat, it's always with a coupon or on a "Kids Eat Free" night. We throw caution to the wind and spend full price on a dinner maybe 3-4 times a year. And that includes our anniversary and my birthday! I know - we're cheap.

Keep the questions coming! Leave a comment if you have something on your mind that I can answer next Wednesday.

Get everyone talking

I've read some great conversation-starter ideas lately that I want to share. We usually talk about these things at dinner, but you can do them anytime your family is together. Couples without kids can do these too!

The first idea is from the book I'm reading, "7 Habits of Highly Effective Families." There was a suggestion to go around the table every night saying something positive about one family member. Last Friday, things were tense for some reason and I decided to start the tradition with Ryan, who I hoped would change his attitude before his football game that night. Mike, Kaylin and I each said something positive about him and he was absolutely beaming. His whole countanence changed, as did the mood of the table. Saturday it was Mike's turn and today was Kaylin. (she even said something nice about herself) We'll just keep going down the list!

Then this morning, I saw this idea on Sarah Mae's blog. Every day, she asks her daughter the same four questions:
What made you happy today?
What made you feel sad today?
What made you feel angry today?
What brought you joy today?

We went around the dinner table asking these questions tonight and it sparked some awesome conversations and insight into our kids' days. Kaylin's "What made you feel angry today?" answer was when Mike left for work and Ryan left for school before she woke up so she didn't get to kiss them good-bye. It didn't make her sad, it actually made her angry. I found that interesting. And next time she sleeps in, I'll make sure everyone wakes her up to give her a hug and a kiss.

The last idea is one I heard years ago. It's along the same lines, but a little more simplified. It's called, "Gratefuls and Grumbles." Everyone in the family shares something that they're grateful for and something that made the "grumble" during the day.

Does anyone else have an idea of a good conversation starter that works for your family?

#42...again

#42 - Add ads to my blog to help bring in a little income. You probably noticed the huge ad that appeared on my sidebar this month. It's my newest attempt to tackle #43 on my list of 101 in 1001. The "income" from the other ads on my blog has been virtually non-existent, so after deleting most of the original ads last year, I'm trying "BlogHer" ads. We'll see if it's worth it! If you see something you like advertised, click on it. I think I get a gazillion dollars per click...or maybe only a few cents. I'm not real sure...didn't read the fine print...

Meal Plan - 4/26/10

Monday - Beef Stir Fry
Tuesday - Turkey Noodle Soup
Wednesday - Artichoke Chicken with rice and salad (didn't make it last week)
Thursday - Turkey Pot Pie
Friday - Penne with Meatballs (using the Turkey Meatloaf with Feta and Sun-Dried Tomatoes recipe)
Saturday - Southwestern Chicken and Bean Pasta
Sunday - Lasagna Roll Ups

Our Family Mission Statement

I've gotten out of the habit of posting re-runs on Fridays. Not sure how that happened, but this is a good one to re-post. This was originally published in July, 2009. Enjoy!

Recently, Simple Mom wrote a great post with 20 starter questions to get people thinking about what to include in a family mission statement. After two years and a dozen attempts to sit down and come up with a mission statement on our own, this was just the tool we needed to finally complete #51 on my list of 101 goals in 1001 days.

The main point from the blog post (which was a little deep, but I soaked up every word) was to create a statement that "guides you as you make future decisions." To summarize a couple of her examples: if you're convinced as a family that your home should be a place where you practice hospitality to others, it makes more sense to keep it "ready" for guests and you're more motivated to keep it straightened. If a goal is to live simply and free from the burden of others, it's logical to strive to be debt-free and not accumulate needless clutter.

Yesterday, Mike and I each filled out the 20 questions separately, then met after the kids were in bed to compare our answers and see where we have common themes. The repeated themes we saw (which weren't a huge surprise) were Honesty/Integrity, Love/Respect, Financial Responsibility and to be Christ-like. So, based on the skeleton that Simple Mom suggested as a first draft, this is what we came up with. We're going to further expand on the points within the mission statement this weekend, but for now, this is the meat of it:

We believe that our purpose as a family is to be Christ-like, to live with integrity, to live simply, to maintain a sense of family unity, to be good stewards of our resources and to lead by example.

We will accomplish this by:
* valuing truth and love as our main guiding principals
* making our home a place of peace, joy, kindness and hospitality
* prioritizing integrity above lesser values and
* interacting with each other in a spirit of respect.

I have to say that this completely reflects the priorities that Mike and I have felt, but have been unable to properly verbalize. I've framed this mission and have it displayed on our bookshelf, knowing that we may need to revise or tweek it over time. But for now, it's perfect.

Q&A Wednesday - All About Me, Part 2

Dawn asked the following:

What exercises do you do on your Wii Fit?
I mostly play games on the Wii Fit (snowball fights, Kung Fu, obstacle course) but I actually get a work out doing the Wii Active. I have the newer version, which has a 6 week challenge. (I've heard that the older version had a 30 day challenge) Every day, the workouts are customized, getting progressively harder as you build up endurance. I started on the medium level at Christmas, even though I hadn't truly worked out in months. It kicked me into shape real quick!!! LOVE it. I just moved on to the second 6 weeks at an advance level.

What's the best gift you've received from your husband?
By far, my cruise for our 10 year anniversary. Hands down!

Did you do any sports in school?
Nope - nada! Not in high school, anyway. I was on the swim team and did dance until we moved to a different area of town when I was 11, then I cheered in middle school.

In high school, I tried out for cheerleading, but all of the tumblers made the squad. I couldn't do a back handspring to save my soul, so my cheer days ended in 8th grade.

Next, I attempted volleyball. The day before try outs began, I got a booster shot that kept me from raising my left arm above my shoulder. It's hard to set when you can't lift your arm! Didn't make that team, either. That's where I stopped. I got really involved with my church youth group and Young Life and left it at that.

What's your favorite chore and least favorite chore?
I do not love chores, but if I had to pick my favorite, it would be cooking and baking - creating anything in the kitchen. I also don't mind laundry, as long as it doesn't pile up.

My least favorite chore is cleaning the bathrooms. I consistently procrastinate this, but once it's done, I feel so silly for putting it off. I'm trying to come up with a cleaning schedule that I can stick with so my bathrooms don't feel so dirty and the task isn't so overwhelming when I finally get around to doing it!

Keep the questions coming! Leave a comment if you have something on your mind that I can answer on a future Q&A Wednesday.

Meal Plan - 4/19/10

Monday - Sloppy Joes with Parmesan Garlic Fries
Tuesday - Quesadilla Pie
Wednesday - Rice, Bean and Cheese Casserole
Thursday - Artichoke Chicken with corn on the cob and salad
Friday - Chicken Taco Stew
Saturday - Chili (with ground turkey) and cornbread
Sunday - Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, maybe even PIE!

Dessert:
Chocolate Krispie Treats

#77 - Clean out my bedroom closet

I'm not sure how or why, but I ended up completely cleaning out my bedroom closet today. I planned to do it in small chunks over the next few days, then got on a roll and just kept going.

Admittedly, my closet is huge. I love it, but it ends up being a bit of a dumping ground. I haven't gone through each clothing item piece-by-piece yet, but I did weed out quite a bit before my garage sale a few months ago. If When I lose the last 10 pounds to get down to my preferred weight, I'll go through each clothing item and be ruthless about donating, but for now, I need options.

You will notice the spare bathroom tiles (below) that were placed in my closet when we moved into our house...FOUR YEARS AGO. Those are finally gone. The pantyhose that I've saved from my working days "just in case" are gone. The pile of clothes to go to the dry cleaner that has been accumulating for two, three, maybe even four years...gone, gone, gone.

(the right side of the closet - before)

(the right side of the closet - after)


(the left side of the closet - before)

(the left side of the closet - after)

Okay, so don't judge me for labeling my shelves (above). After I had Kaylin, I was so overwhelmed with piles of clothes, never remembering what fit, that I labeled areas of the shelves so I could get dressed in a reasonable amount of time each day.

I made use of the random shelf on top of the bottom rack of clothes...

#77 was one of the things I've been dreading on my 101 Goals in 1001 Days list. And now it's done - WOO HOO!!!

Q&A Wednesday - What I Eat

What have you been eating to lose your pregnancy weight?

Let me tell you, there's nothing like the gift of a cruise to kick start your weight loss motivation! That coupled with the post-holiday guilt over all of the eating that occurred at Christmas parties, pot lucks and cookie exchanges.

I'm not a fan of diets (who is, right?) but I'll share what I generally eat, just in case it might help you tweak your own eating regimen. For those who don't already know, I prefer homemade to packaged foods and avoid additives and preservatives whenever possible. I'd rather spend the time making a recipe where I know what's in the food and forgo the convenience of a mix. Just something to note!

For Breakfast, I usually eat oatmeal. I make it on the stove using the old fashioned oats, adding a couple of egg whites in toward the end and stir in flax seed grounds after it's done cooking. I don't add sugar or sweeteners, just a few raisins, some cinnamon and a little milk to make it creamy. It might sound boring, but it starts my day off with something filling.

If I don't have time to make oatmeal, I'll eat a mug (a regular coffee mug, not a huge coffee house sized mug) of either Cheerios or Kashi Go Lean. I'm not talking about Go Lean Crunch; the regular Go Lean is very low in fat and sugar. Even that small amount is surprisingly satisfying and keeps me full longer because it's packed with fiber and protein. (my kids think it's hilarious that I eat my cereal in a coffee mug, but it's the only way I can keep the portion correct)

Morning snacks are almost always fruit. If I find plain yogurt on sale, I'll mix berries or bananas with some yogurt, but I eat an apple almost every day around 10am. If I'm on the go, I'll put some grapes in a bag or eat a Kashi Almond Flax granola bar. They're a little more expensive than some other granola bars out there, but again, they're low in sugar and the almonds and whole grains keeps me full longer.

Lunch is a salad at least 5 days a week. I eat the same salad every. day. I love it. I make my own oil and vinegar dressing (2:1 or 3:1 oil to vinegar ratio with a few shakes of salt, garlic, Italian seasoning and finely chopped onion) and pour it over leaf lettuce with chopped up tomatoes, feta cheese, tuna or leftover chicken, dried cranberries and anything else that might be hanging out in my fridge. (cucumbers, zucchini, avocado, red bell pepper) If I don't have lettuce, then I eat leftovers or a turkey sandwich with pretzels or fruit.

Afternoon snacks are when I cheat. Not when I gave up sugar for Lent, but when Ryan comes home from school, I'll often have whatever I give him for a snack. On healthier days, I'll make popcorn (in my popcorn machine, not the bagged microwave kind) or make fruit salad. When I want something carb-y (totally a word) I'll grab some banana bread out of the freezer or bake something with the kids. We also do pretzels and Triscuits with 2% cheese a lot.

Dinner changes all the time - you can see my meal plans every week to see what recipes I make often. I serve our dinner on the smaller dessert plates to keep portions more reasonable, but Mike almost always goes back for seconds. I try desperately not to, but if we're having something lighter, I'll fill up so I won't be hungry before bed.

I know most people believe that you shouldn't eat 2-3 hours before bedtime, but I have no guilt eating an apple or popcorn if I get hungry before bed. If I'm too lazy to cut up an apple, I'll eat some unsweetened applesauce or a few raw almonds. (I mention the details of "unsweetened" and "raw" because I believe that the foods being in their raw form makes a big difference.)

When I eat sweets or desserts, I try to eat them earlier in the day. They hype me up too much before bed and when I eat chocolate at night, I always have crazy dreams.

Beverages - We drink mostly water and green tea in our house, no soda and few fruit juices. I prefer to chew my calories, personally. I even think twice about drinking alcohol, since I'm a wimp and like the foo-foo drinks that are loaded with sugar. I about died when I learned how many calories are in a Margarita!

Eating out - It is very rare that we eat fast food and prefer eating places that serve fresher ingredients like Chipotle. We go out to eat about once a week and I tend to avoid things with heavy sauces or mayonnaise and stick to items that are grilled with lots of vegetables.

So there you have it. I know I'm a little more hard-core about eating fresh foods than most people in America, but I'm not nearly as strict as many, many others. I've been tempted to watch Food, Inc recently, so I'll let you know if that transforms me into a completely organic, free range, meatless food Nazi afterward. From what I've heard, I'm thinking it might!

Shopping the Post-Holiday Sales

With Easter behind us, now is the perfect time to shop for next year's Easter baskets, crafts and decorations. The only thing you shouldn't buy ahead is the candy. Stock up on things like Easter books, puzzles, plastic shrink wrap, egg-shaped sidewalk chalk, plastic eggs and grass. Many items are reusable from year to year - even games and toys if your kids are too little to remember what they got in their baskets last year.

I hit the 50% off sale today at Target and found a few good deals. Even the $1 bins were half off! Not to mention that I stumbled upon some clearance shoes on sale for the kids.

Don't save the post-holiday sales for Christmas...keep your eyes open after every holiday and shop ahead for next year!

"Yes" Day, Take 2

Last year, I decided (on Easter morning) that I would say, "yes" to the kids all day long. They had more sugar in a single day than they consumed the entire rest of the month! But it was such a great experience, I'm going to do it again tomorrow. And I encourage you to do the same. It's so incredibly freeing to let up on the rules.

We have a relaxing morning planned, considering today was a marathon of events. I just hid a gazillion eggs all over the house, so our day will likely start on an incredible sugar high. Thankfully, I thought to put coins in some of the Easter eggs when I ran out of candy. I just realized I also could have stuffed them with sticks of gum...oh well. Next year!

I was going to make apple fritters for breakfast, but I think it would be smarter to stick to eggs and toast to balance out the candy that will be inhaled. (Oh Lord, let them get sick to their stomachs to make the day managable!)

Here are a few pictures from our day. We went to a neighborhood event at a nearby park where there were tons of games with prizes. (this is Kaylin getting ready to do the sack race)

And, of course, there were Easter egg hunts for various age groups...

And face painting and tatoos that I had to scrub off before church...

Finally, here are my munchkins all dressed up before church tonight. Ryan asked to wear his tie, yet we don't have nice shoes for him, so he had to wear tennies shoes. Kaylin wore a gorgeous pink dress and begged to wear her black sparkly shoes. Why not - it wasn't not worth the fight. (I was practicing for my "yes" day) And look at Jason in his little collared shirt and khaki shorts. Isn't he sweet? You'd never guess that I had to wake the older two up 15 minutes before this picture was taken. They were exhausted!

#65 - Make vegetarian meals 3x a week for a month

I don't know how vegetarians do it. Coming up with meat-less recipes was really hard! And really, the recipes I used were more meatless than they were truly vegetarian. I didn't bother using vegetable broth instead of chicken broth...that wasn't the point of putting this item on my list of 101 Goals in 1001 Days. The idea was to find recipes that would help decrease our grocery budget (back when Mike was unemployed) and I am proud to say that my family barely complained about the missing meat! (Mike asked a couple of times, but for the most part, he had no idea I was doing this intentionally)

Week 1
Penne with Asparagus, Spinach and Bacon (minus the bacon...)
Bean Stew with Whole Wheat Bread
Crock Pot Minestrone Soup

Week 2
Broccoli and Artichoke Crustless Quiche
{Healthier} Mac 'n' Cheese
Rice, Bean and Cheese Casserole

Week 3
Quesadilla Pie
Vegetable Penne with Pesto
Bean Stew with Whole Wheat Bread
Black Bean Salad

Week 4
{Healthy} Corn Soup with Cheesy Garlic Toast
Baked Egg and Cheese Crepes
Crustless Zucchini Quiche

Easter Ideas

If you're looking for some fun things to do leading up to Easter in a few days, here are some links and ideas:

- Easter Coloring Pages

- Easter Crafts

- Have an Easter egg hunt in the yard/neighborhood/park/inside the house

- Cut sandwiches, rice krispie treats or brownies into Easter shapes

- Color Easter eggs

- Fill plastic eggs with candy or notes of appreciation and leave them on the lawn or porch of nearby friends and neighbors.

- Make Resurrection Cookies on Saturday night. These are basically meringue cookies that sit overnight. Here is the recipe I found here:

You need:
* 1 cup whole pecans
* Mixing bowl
* 3 egg whites
* Wooden spoon
* 1 cup sugar
* Bible
* 1 tsp. vinegar
* Zipper baggy
* 1 pinch of salt
* Wax paper
* Cookie sheet
* Tape

Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

Place pecans in the baggy and let the children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested, He was beaten by the Roman soldiers.
Read John 19:1-3

Let child smell the vinegar.
Put 1 tsp. into mixing bowl.
Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, He was given vinegar to drink.
Read John 19:28-30

Add egg whites to the vinegar.
Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life for our life.
Read John 10:10-11

Sprinkle a little salt into each child’s hand let them taste it then brush the rest into the bowl.
Explain that represents the salty tears shed by Jesus followers, and the bitterness of our own sin…
Read Luke 23:27

So far the ingredients are not very appetizing.
Add 1 cup sugar.
Explain that the sweetest part of this story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him.
Read Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16

Beat with mixer on high speed for 11-15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed.
Explain that the color white represents the purity in God’s eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus.
Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3

Fold in broken nuts.
Drop by tsp.onto waxed paper-covered cookie sheet.
Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus body was laid.
Read Matt. 27:65-66

Put cookies sheet in the oven.
Close door and turn oven OFF.
Give each child a piece of tape and seal the door.
Explain that Jesus tomb was sealed.
Read Matt. 27:65-66

Go to bed!

Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight.
Jesus followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed.
Read John 16:20 and 22

On Resurrection Morning open the oven and give everyone a cookie!
Notice the cracked surface and take a bite.
The cookies are hollow!
On the first Resurrection Day Jesus followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty.
Read Matt. 28:1-9

Anyone else have any fun Easter-y ideas?