After 5 Years, Ryan GETS IT

This summer, we took about 5 weeks off of school. Kaylin and Ryan went to camp, we went to San Diego as a family, we had Ryan's birthday party, I spent some time regrouping for the new year at the Arizona Homeschool Convention, the kids enjoyed the break.

Even though most of the local school districts don't start school until next week, we began a couple of weeks ago. Which is tough when the rest of the kids are still playing video games all day long! But I muddled through the groaning and we are well on our way to getting back into our daily school routine.

The first week back was rough...really rough. Last week was a little better, then I heard a comment last night that I would have never expected in a million years. But first, some background...

We began homeschooling almost 5 years ago. Ryan (now 12) remembers school well and Kaylin (turning 10) went to Kindergarten so, of course, she remembers school very fondly. (recess, crafts and play time - YAY!!!)

Sporadically over the past 5 years, one kid or another will start grumbling about going back to school. I explain that we are homeschooling because it's what I feel God has called our family to do, they continue to make random comments, then the negativity fizzles for a time. Then another kid starts. It has seemed never ending!!!

This peaked last year when I had a very surprise pregnancy, followed by an even more surprising miscarriage. When I announced my pregnancy, my kids secretly decided that I would be stretched too thin with the new baby and that I'd probably send them to school. (I just learned about this misconception last month) So after healing from the miscarriage, my kids started in with major waves of discontentment with HSing. Again. It was maddening!

All this to say that last night, out of the blue, Ryan (who has given me the most grief about going back to school) told me that he thinks that if he went to middle school, he'd be miserable and want to return to homeschooling. I dug a little deeper and he explained that he is starting to realize how flexible our schedule is because of homeschooling, that he can do several lessons early in the day/week to have more free time later, that our schoolwork only takes a few hours each day vs. his friends who spend 6-7 hours in a physical school building then come home with homework. He is finally, FINALLY grateful that we homeschool.

I almost cried. I was not expecting to ever hear these words from this kid! Especially at this age when hormones are raging and his thoughts are so...opinionated. 

This conversation is going to linger with me for a very long time. Homeschooling can be so emotionally draining, then to realize that no one even appreciates the hard work makes it even more tough! THIS IS SO WORTH IT! And I truly believe this is right where God wants us to be. 

Today, I am on Cloud 9.

Developing a Love for Learning: A Homeschooling Update

As we wind down our "school year", I find myself reflecting on where we are with our homeschool journey. I've cycled in and out of different philosophies in the past few years I've become extremely relaxed and laid back these days.

Working from home while homeschooling can sometimes be a challenge, but for the most part, we work it out just fine. The kids do a few of their subjects independently, they have learned not to disrupt me when I'm on the phone or on a conference call, we're still working on "Mom's JUST on the computer, I think now is a great time to tell her about the dog across the street", but I think I came up with a solution last week!  

It's a work in progress, but what we're trying is this: When I need to work on something without interruption, I put in my earbuds and set my phone timer for 20 minutes. The idea is that the kids see that as my "do not disturb" signal, and when the timer goes off, I'll take a break and they can ask me questions, tell me about their dream last night, get permission to have screen time, etc. 

This allows me to concentrate without distractions, but it also helps me to not get so engrossed in "working" that I ignore my kids hour after hour. 

This is huge for me, because I'm really trying to work smarter, not harder, yet continue to increase my income. It's a balancing act, for sure!

Back to homeschooling. 

As usual, we're taking about a 4-5 week break this summer. I'm a big fan of year-round schooling...the longer our breaks, the more time we need to take for review and getting back into a routine. Not to mention that I don't follow the local school calendar...we take lots of random days off through the year, plus extended breaks for holidays, field trips and vacations. 

I plan to continue having the kids read every day during our break, plus do at least one math problem daily, so they won't fall out of practice. 

I've recently tightened things up with what the kids are reading, allowing them to read anything they want in their free time, but requiring them to read a book of MY choice every day. There are some great resources online with age-appropriate book lists that I've been reserving from the library. (mostly from Charlotte Mason, which include period books that teach history through the storyline) I also printing a reading log so we can all keep track of which books they've read, how they enjoyed the book (they rate each one), and it helps to know which authors they like best for future options.

After months of complaining and a bout earlier this year of burnout, I've been trying to re-focus on encouraging my kids to have a love for learning. This has been my desire since the beginning, but it seems that we get off track every so often. And by "we" I mean "me".

Kaylin admitted this week that when I became pregnant last summer, they assumed I would be too overwhelmed to continue homeschooling. Unbeknownst to me, they started getting excited to go back to school, which caused dissension after my miscarriage. Since I've backed off the academics a bit, the kids have stopped pestering me about going back to a traditional campus school and are appreciating the freedoms that homeschooling allows us.

Do they need to know how to read, write and do math? Of course. But if I bulldoze past the topics that genuinely interest them, I will create kids who hate school, hate to learn, and don't pursue their passions. 

I've been intentional about fostering this love for learning. Sometimes it's as simple as letting the spelling lesson slide for a day while someone spends an hour tinkering with the microscope. Are those two things within the same category? Of course not, but there are only so many hours in the day.

After a trip to IKEA for new drawers for Jason, Ryan begged to be the one to assemble them. No begging required, kid!  I don't love those kinds of projects, so I let him do his thing. There was only one thing that he messed up, but he figured out how to make it work. He was SO proud of himself!!! It took him 3 hours one afternoon and 4 hours the next morning. Was he learning during this process? Absolutely!

Kaylin spends a lot of her free time scrapbooking, crocheting, drawing, painting, and most recently...doing chalk art. If she gets caught up in a project and realizes at dinnertime that she forgot to do creative writing, I let it slide.

Jason still has an amazing imagination, as the other two did at his age. He took some of my Tastefully Simple boxes and made a rocketship to go to the moon. Ryan helped him make a helmet, which looked a lot like an alien. So much of "learning" for kids this young actually revolves around having the freedom to play!

We've also taken several field trips lately. After years on the to-do list, we finally went to the zoo. My kids spent 2 minutes at the "big" attractions like the lions and tigers, yet I had to drag them away from the baby ducklings playing in a puddle in the grass. They were fascinated by the peacock, who wandered freely around the property. They begged me to let them spend their money on the Sky Ride, so they could watch the kangaroos and giraffes from overhead. We spent nearly half of our day in the aquarium petting the stingrays. I love that they were entertained by the little things even more than the big ones!

Ryan has decided that his goal for school next year is make every kind of pie that exists. We went peach picking last week and yesterday, he tackled pie #1: Sour Cream Peach Pie. Oh...my. It was delicious!  He also has been perfecting "Dad and Ryan's Awesome Salsa", which is way too spicy for the rest of us.

We're adding two new classes this summer: art for all of the kids and sewing for Kaylin. The big kids are each going to camp, Ryan is trying his hand once again at basketball, we have summer movie tickets and passes to the water park, plus we're planning a few trips up north to my in laws' cabin. Our summer should be filled with memories! 

And pie. We will probably be eating lots of pie.

A Blogging Evolution

Hello, readers!  I can't believe it's been more than 2 months since I last wrote a blog post. Honestly, there's been plenty to write about, but over the past year, I've started wondering if anyone still reads my ramblings? 

Then I got a sweet, concerned email from a long-time follower (thanks DeeAnna!) wondering if I'm doing ok. YES! I'm still alive and well. I've just been reflecting a little. 

My blog began in 2007 as a one-stop-shop for my family and friends to get caught up on pictures of my growing kids and to see a glimpse of our daily life. Back then, I was known as Three Blondes and a Redhead...Kaylin was an infant and Ryan was only 2 years old. Within a year, I had dozens of followers. As an overwhelmed stay-at-home-mom, I didn't realize I needed to be heard...to have a voice. I appreciated that others understood my exhaustion. I loved sharing recipe ideas and organization tips with strangers all over the globe. Friendships developed with people I would never meet in parts of the world I may never visit.

A few months before Jason was born, I evolved into Intentionally Katie, my page got a facelift, and things got big-time. Dozens of readers became hundreds of readers. I actually met people around town who recognized me from my blog...it was a trip!

Then when I began homeschooling in 2011, I lost some people. I've always written about our daily life, which was soon consumed with all things homeschooling, and many couldn't relate. I had less time to compose and publish blogs posts (oh, but I started so many...!) and people got sick of checking in, only to find nothing new.

Looking back over 2015, my single-digit, monthly post numbers are truly pathetic. If nothing else, I love journaling about our life! And I hardly have anything to look back upon.

Blogs don't seem to be nearly as widespread as they were when I began writing nearly 9 years ago. Sure, there are certainly plenty of blogs to read, but with other social media outlets to stay connected and get ideas, I have noticed my followers have dwindled, comments are scarce, and I tend to wonder if anyone has the desire to read about my relatively mundane world...?

I also wonder how safe it is to post pictures of my kids. I don't want to sound paranoid, but this world is going downhill at warp speed and there are some crazies out there! I've strongly considered making this blog private, since it's turned into less "struggling moms, you're not alone" and more about a personal memoir of my kids and our family moments. 

But those decisions are for another day. What have we been up to these past few months? 

In October, just as my body was finally recovering from a miscarriage, Mike and I headed to Los Cabos, Mexico for an all-expenses-paid FREE vacation. This trip was earned by the top 19 people at Tastefully Simple and I was one of them!!! It was fantastic. We snorkeled, went horseback riding on the beach, relaxed, relaxed and relaxed some more. We needed this getaway! Badly. We came home and I got back to work, trying to earn the top trip to Italy next year!

In November, Ryan finished up his first season of tackle football and Jason ended his 2nd soccer season. Weekly practices for both boys, tumbling for Kaylin and games all weekend long kept us very. busy. After 12 years unmedicated, I decided to go to the doctor and get back on my ADD medicine. It was a decision I'd wrestled with and finally just threw in the towel and did it. Things are so much clearer in my head! Later in the month, our house was invaded by workers as we got the house and cabinets painted and finishing Kaylin's "tween" room. November is a blur.

In December, it was all about Christmas: Baking, Christmas movies, holiday parties, the whole sha-bang. We had a more mellow holiday season this year...I wrapped our gifts just days before Christmas and we didn't even visit Santa until Christmas Eve! But it was stress-free. The month/year ended with the sad news that my favorite grandmother passed away. She was sick for a very long time, but it was still a sad time for my family.

In January, we celebrated the New Year up north and went sledding, had our family pictures taken professionally (FINALLY...it's been years!), I went to Atlanta for a leadership conference, and Kaylin got braces. Mike and I also jumped into our 2nd complete round of Whole30. And I've been working out like crazy to get my pre-pregnancy, pre-Dallas-move-stress-eating body back. Yoga, lifting weights, kickboxing, cycle, I take about 6-8 classes each week and I'm finally feeling comfortable in my own skin again.

That brings us to February. Earlier this month, I contemplated ending our homeschool journey. I was burned out, the kids were sick of it, and I was sick of THEM (just being real). I felt trapped in a life that I'd chosen. After reading about others with this same experience, I made the drastic decision to pull the plug on academics. We go to the library 1-2 times a week, pull 30-40 books about any and all topics of interest, and we read. A lot. We read together, we read alone, we talk about what we read, the kids do presentations for the rest of the family about what they've learned each day, it is very different and giving us all the break we need. The kids still do math every day, plus a creative journal I bought them each for Christmas, but learning and school is finally becoming fun again. For all of us. 

In other news...after many years of wondering, we went through the process to see if Ryan has ADHD like his mama. He asked a lot of questions after I went back on my meds and when I described my symptoms, he said, "It sounds like you're explaining what's in my head." 

He was officially diagnosed a couple of weeks ago and we're seeing huge improvements with his new medication. More than anything, his confidence is skyrocketing. He no longer wonders why he struggles with simple tasks, makes silly mistakes in his schoolwork, forgets basic instructions, and a million other things. I have tried battling this issue with homeschooling, nutritional changes, everything I could think of...I wanted medicine to be the last resort, but it was officially time to nip this issue in the bud.

I think that's it!  You're finally caught up on everything within our walls. If you've made it this far, feel free to leave a comment if you'd like me to keep my blog public. Don't be shy! An anonymous comment will do, as long as you're not a psycho stalker. You can be a normal stalker, just not a psycho stalker, because no one has time for that kind of drama. Especially me!

Sleeping In. Daily.

I don't know how the other kids do it!  Practicing sports so late, then waking up at the crack of dawn and being expected to function at school all day long.

Ryan is starting his first season of tackle football. He has practice late, two nights each week. He gets home around 9:30, eats a second dinner, spews  details about plays and hits and passes he caught that night, showers, then finally gets to bed around 10:30.

He has never been a kid who sleeps in, no matter how late he goes to bed, but when he turned 11, puberty started kicking in and he final…FINALLY…was able to fall back to sleep after waking up early in the morning.

Now, he stays up a little later, reading (I finally found him some lists of books that he has been enjoying!) and almost always sleeps past 7:00. On the mornings after football practice, he doesn't wake up until 8:30-9:00. 

Every time he wanders down the stairs that late with bed-head, I wonder how tired his teammates must be. They get up at 6am, take the bus to school and have already been bombarded with information from their first class long before Ryan's eyes open for the day. 

Just another reason that I'm grateful we are homeschooling. My kid can participate in sports AND get the amount of sleep his body needs!  Sometimes, it's the little things.

Creating Character by Focusing on the Heart

I'm going to be honest: These last few weeks have been rough. I'm not sure if the problem is that the kids aren't doing well without the structure of a school schedule…or if it's actually (through clenched teeth) ME. 

I've spent so much time thinking about what is going wrong and how I can better handle it…nothing I do to help correct the situation seems to make a difference. I think I figured out that the root of the issue is the fact that the older kids have so many friends to play with (now that school is out for summer) that Jason seems to be lost in the shuffle. His playmates no longer give him the time of day, so he acts out to get negative attention. (Just to name a few examples: cheating at games, boldly lying, whining and crying when he doesn't get his way, even walking alone to a friend's house after I specifically said he would need to be walked over by a sibling because it was too far.)

It feels like I've been taking away everything of value to get everyone's attention: screen time, friends, I even told Jason he couldn't go to his beloved soccer practice one night because I just couldn't handle his attitude anymore. I gave him dinner in his room and told him I'd see him in the morning. 

I was out of ideas. 

Finally, I sat all of the kids on the couch and we talked about character traits that we should have as Christians: Kindness. Self-Control. Honesty. Obedience. What are they? Why are the important? I asked each child to pick one to work on. The conversation ended with Jason sent to his room, me yelling at the older kids, and I was in tears. What was I doing wrong?!?!

Then I found this article, which basically said that punishment does not change behavior. Interesting…and it clicked!

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that parents with multiple children aren't constantly grounding their kids from friends or screen time for a day or a week…I was losing track of who was restricted from what just with two of my kids!!!

Then what do I do? I felt as if I've lost control as the parent.

Until I remembered Kevin Lehman's book "Have a New Kid by Friday". There wasn't enough time to re-read the entire book, but I remembered that I had blogged about the highlights years ago. It was exactly what I needed. 

I was spending so much time punishing my kids into good behavior (and wondering why it wasn't working) that I wasn't focusing on their hearts. Sure, they may behave for a while after they had their freedoms back, but their reasoning was to avoid getting in trouble again, not because it was the right thing to do. 

So I'm taking a different approach. I'm going to stop punishing my kids for bad attitudes, disobedience, and poor choices. Instead, I'm going to sit down and talk to them about what they did wrong, why it was wrong and help guide them into coming up with a better alternative for next time. I'm also intentionally going to focus on encouraging my kids in the things they're doing right instead of focusing only on what they are doing wrong. I've been wanting to cross that item off my 101 in 1001 list for months! Last, I'm committing to pray for them daily. Every morning, before I get out of bed, I'm handing control of this whole mess over to God. He's much better at dealing with it than I am!!!

This new method is taking much more time and energy, but I am positive it will be worth it in the long run. I'm already seeing small, but encouraging, results!

Reduce Summer Stress with a Daily LIST

I love getting random ideas that help my family!  Last night, I was watching a new show on TLC, when I heard the dad tell his kids to "make a list". They had things to do and, instead of telling them what to do or making the list for them, he had THEM make their OWN list. He approved it, sent them on their way, then told the camera that he, "...loves being the 'Yes Man'" and just wants to be the rubber stamper. No micromanaging? No begging, bribing, or nagging? Genius!

This morning, I tried it on my kids. I took Jason to run errands and left the big kids at home to do their chores and get started on their schoolwork. Before I left, I had them make a list.

I learned from this dad that "clean the kitchen" wasn't specific enough, so I forewarned them that they'd need to include details like, "Load the dishwasher, wipe counters, vacuum under the table", etc.

By making their own list, I believe my kids will learn responsibility, independence and (hopefully) won't be as resentful for the work they're given. 

After I got home, almost everything was done and my kids were beaming with pride. By making a daily list, I really think they'll learn to have a sense of accomplishment after each item is crossed off and an end to the work, instead of constantly having to check in with me or, worse, feeling micromanaged and nagged after every little task.

With everyone getting out of school this month, I think this list thing is going to be the way to go in our family. We're only taking a month off of homeschooling, not the whole summer, so the kids can know that they will need to make a list and get it all done before playing with friends. And maybe this will keep the doorbell from ringing at 8:15am for weeks on end while we're trying to tackle spelling words!

Getting the Kids Involved in ALL THOSE Pinterest Ideas

I recently found a great blog post about 8 Genius Ideas for your Homeschool. The list was great, whether you homeschool or not. We already do a couple of the ideas, but I think we're going to incorporate the first one: "Home Ec Day". 

It got me thinking about an idea of my own I came up with recently. I have so many great blog posts and articles pinned on my Pinterest board, but sometimes have trouble fitting in fun things like science experiments and craft projects. 

So I've made my kids responsible for them. 

Once a week, 10-year old Ryan looks through my "Weird Science" Pinterest Board and picks an experiment that he wants to do with the kids. He's in charge of preparing it and gathering the supplies. Then Kaylin, my 8-year old budding artist, is in charge of planning a craft for her brothers. 

While Ryan or Kaylin is in charge, their siblings practice taking direction from them, listening to instructions, and showing them respect. 

Now all I have to do is find something for Jason to be in charge of so he can have a sense of control in his little life!

(if you're interested in following me on Pinterest, click here)

Teaching Kids to Cook

I am so excited. SO EXCITED! We are joining a new Homeschool Co-Op and I offered to teach an "Intro to Cooking" class for some of the kids ages 7-12. When asked what my special skills are, I drew a blank. Then it hit me! I'm not good enough at Science or Art or Spanish to teach anyone other than my own kids, but cooking? I can teach cooking. 

I've spent the better part of this afternoon obsessing over my tentative syllabus for this 12 week course. Wanna know what I've penciled in? Because I'm really excited about it and I want to share it with someone, so it may as well be YOU. Even if you don't homeschool, you could teach your own kids how to cook in just a matter of a few months with this basic skeleton of an agenda.

(I still need to figure out how much the supplies and ingredients are going to cost, so I can come up with a dollar amount to charge each child, but I can figure that out later.)

Week 1: Intro to Cooking

I'm going to get the kids each an apron and, while we get to know each other, they can decorate their aprons with fabric markers and puffy paint. We'll also go over cleanliness, recipe basics, etc. during our first class together. No cooking yet, just getting everyone on the same page.

Week 2: Knife safety, Peelers, Whipping Cream

After going over knife safety, we'll learn how to safely use a vegetable peeler and they'll peel some apples for Easy Apple Turnovers. While those are baking, we'll make homemade whipping cream.  I'll never forget my kids' faces when they first saw heavy whipping cream transform into whipped cream. It's magical! Minimal measuring, pretty simple, but fun, right?

Week 3: Differences between liquid and dry measurements

Again, keeping thing simple early on, we're going to make Homemade Ice Cream in a bag. We'll learn about the difference between liquid and dry measuring utensils, cups and spoons, measuring equivalents (3 tsp = 1 Tbsp), things like that. Still learning the basics.

Week 4: Breakfast in bed

I polled some friends and it was a consensus that these kids need to learn how to bring their parents breakfast in bed! So we're going to learn how to cook eggs to order (scrambled and soft/hard boiled, plus the difference between over easy, over medium, and over hard fried eggs) and I'm going to throw in a little character lesson about why they should bring their parents (and eventually their spouse) breakfast in bed. It's all about serving others, people!

Week 5: Baking/Oven Safety

This week, we'll make Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins because we'll be heading straight into fall. We'll talk about measuring dry ingredients by making the top of the measuring cup even with the back of a knife, why things go in the mixing bowl in a certain order, stuff like that.

Week 6: Chicken Safety

I can't do a cooking class without talking about cross contamination and the disgusting world of salmonella! We'll make homemade chicken fingers, and while those are cooking, I'm going to bring some basic seasonings (basil, garlic, onion, thyme, oregano) and let them smell/taste each one, explaining why adding seasonings is so important to cooking.

Week 7: Making Lunch

Making a grilled cheese sandwich seems easy, but for littler kids, they don't understand that it's necessary to butter the bread evenly so it all cooks the same, how not to burn it before flipping it over, things like that. Someone mentioned that learning this in Home Ec gave them huge confidence in the kitchen, so I'm throwing this in there. 

Week 8: Boiling Water

Not only are we going to make a pasta dish and learn about boiling water on this day, but I found a fun recipe on Pinterest for putting uncooked spaghetti noodles through hot dog chunks and boiling them, then they look crazy on the plate. Who wouldn't love that? But I wonder what you would serve them with…? Ketchup? Marinara?

photo credit

Week 9: Meatballs, Meatloaf and not clogging the drain

Most kids will love squishing and rolling meatballs, plus a friend told me about a cooking birthday party her son went to where they spent some time talking about properly disposing of fats. To help them understand why not to put fat down the drain, she did a demo with two kids holding hands in a circle, then a couple of kids stood between them. Then she tried to put another kid in, then another, until the "circle" was clogged. Then she lifted another kid up and tried to put her on top, showing what happens as the drain slowly gets clogged up. This demonstration is right up my little homeschool alley!

Week 10: Using a Mixer/Beaters

I can't teach a cooking class without sharing the best ever Chocolate Cake recipe with these kids and their families! They'll also learn how to make homemade frosting with their own set of beaters, and we'll discuss how softened vs. melted butter affects the outcome of a recipe. Then they'll frost their individual cakes in disposable tins and I'll send them on their merry little way.

Week 11: Sugar Cookies

Again, when you have the most amazing Sugar Cookie Recipe on the planet, it must be shared. Plus, my recipe doesn't require that the dough be refrigerated first, so they'll get to make the dough, roll it out, flour the surface, use cookie cutters, bake and decorate. We'll be closer to Christmas by this time, so it will be good timing.

Week 12: Reading a Recipe Independently 

By the end of the class, my goal is to have these kids reading recipes on their own. They will (hopefully) know how to measure properly, go through the instructions independently, etc. They'll make my easy, moist Banana Bread recipe in disposable loaf pans to take home as their final class project.

Doesn't this sound fun!? I'm seriously jumping out of my skin I'm so excited. Hopefully these kids will get 10% of my excitement and actually retain something I teach them so they can learn to be confident in the kitchen. 

If your kids were taking a cooking class, what would you want them to learn? I have plenty of time to tweak or add to my agenda!

When You Give a Homeschool Mom a Morning (inspired by If You Give a Mouse a Cookie)

This morning, we waved good-bye as Mike and Ryan went off to church camp. Then I immediately dropped Kaylin and Jason off for a week of Vacation Bible School. I suddenly had three hours all to myself. 

Let me repeat that: THREE HOURS. TO MYSELF. 

Do you know how rare that is in my world? 

Do you know what three hours equals in homeschool mom hours??? Practically a week. 

I intended to run some child-free errands, but decided to head home and cross a few things off my to do list first. It was only 9am, so I had plenty of time to do both.

But before I sat down, I started a load of laundry and cleaned up the kitchen from breakfast. 

Then I sat down at my computer. My eyes wandered over to the cluttered desk around me. Papers, Legos, football trading cards, drawings, lists, receipts…I couldn't concentrate. I decided to spend 30 minutes re-setting my house. Clear surfaces, clean floors, tidy nooks and crannies. 

But I had to go to the bathroom first. Once in the bathroom, my sink counters made me cringe. With Mike gone for a few days, I decided to stick all of his toiletries under his sink. 

But the counter was still gross...toothpaste crusties and stray whiskers everywhere. So I quickly wiped it down. And cleaned the mirror. And while I was at it, I may as well clean the toilet and just call it, "done," right?

It took me all of 11 minutes, so I carted my cleaning supplies over to the kids' bathroom. 

As I walked past the schoolroom, I noticed Jason's bedding all over the floor. I had forgotten that he wouldn't stop talking to Ryan last night, so I separated them. I grabbed his pillow and covers and went into the boys' room to re-make his bed.

While I was in there, I tidied up a bit. Hangers hung up in the closet. Books on the shelf. Clothes in the hamper.

The hamper looked pretty full, so I grabbed the clothes to bring to the laundry room. While I was at it, I emptied Kaylin's hamper, too. And pulled the clothes out of my hamper.

After the clothes were sorted in the laundry room and the towels were moved to the dryer, I decided to clean the hall bathroom. And disinfect the kitchen sink. 

Then the dishwasher was ready to be unloaded. 

Then I noticed Ryan's birthday party decorations all over the house. Time to take those down!

Then I picked up all of the paper and peripherals from the kids playing "hotel" with their friends in the front room yesterday.

I casually looked at the clock. Only 10:15!??!!

Time for a snack. I poured myself some Rice Chex and almonds and gathered some stuff to bring upstairs with me. Like an idiot, I tipped the bowl and spilled Chex everywhere. I figured I should vacuum it up before accidentally stepping on them and made a bigger mess.

And while the vacuum was out…I think you see where this is going...

Then I finally got back to decluttering the surfaces. It is now 11:20am, I have completely picked up my house, cleaned the bathrooms, done a load of laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, vacuumed the kitchen, disinfected the sink, written this entire blog post, and I still have 30 minutes to spare before I need to go pick up the little kids.

What on EARTH am I going to do with myself for the next four mornings??!?!

#24 - Preplan Homeschool Schedule for a Month (and stick to it)

This quick post is LONG overdue, but the task is done! I began this feat on July 28th and planned our schedule through September 6th. (a little longer than a month because of two trips on the calendar)

After the homeschool conference this summer, we decided to incorporate KONOS unit studies into our curriculum. They're character based and very activity driven, all meant to supplement the current reading, writing and arithmetic programs that are already in place. 

The kids have loved it! We are just now finishing up the first 12-week character study on Attentiveness. We've covered everything from the five senses to Helen Keller and Alexander Graham Bell to predators and prey (they certainly need to be attentive!) to pioneers to Native Americans. 

Back to the task at hand: during one of our trips to my in-law's cabin in July, I spent a chunk of time planning a month of our school schedule and activities. I requested books from the library online, made lists of supplies needed, it all seemed like a great idea at the time.

But as far as the "stick to it" part of my goal, I decided not to get stuck on fulfilling that piece. One of the best things about homeschooling is the flexibility. And having everything written down (albeit in pencil) didn't allow for much flexibility for my Type A personality. We got off track by week 2 and a small piece of me died inside. Not to mention that not doing my weekly planning every Sunday got me completely out of the habit and it took me until just recently to get back INTO the habit. (the same thing happened when I meal planned our menu for a month - I haven't been in a good routine of meal planning since!)

As you can see, I pick my own categories for "lunchroom" and "playground" since I bought a traditional teacher's planning book. 

We were at the cabin again this past weekend and I planned the next two weeks of our schedule. I think that's about as far in advance as I'm comfortable with for now. Things come up that throw us off and I need to work on my spontaneity, not my organization. People get sick, we go on impromptu field trips to the pumpkin patch or Phoenix Children's Museum, we learn that the neighbors have "fall break" and our doorbell starts ringing at 8am with requests for Ryan to play football at the park...I'd much rather he get exercise with his friends instead of checking off his school to-do list. There's plenty of time to practice his spelling words...next week.

That's the beauty of not being accountable to anyone except myself. We can switch things up whenever we want! So #24 is crossed off my 101 in 1001 list, but I honestly don't know that I liked the results. But it's done, regardless!

Poor Time Management

If I do say so myself, I have naturally awesome time management skills. Well, maybe not naturally...maybe I've learned to have great time management over the years, but regardless, I rock in this area.

Except not lately. Like at ALL. These last few weeks have left me overwhelmed and unfocused many hours of most days. And when I do have some free time, I find myself wanted to collapse into a pile of mental exhaustion from the day's activities, lacking any motivation or desire to cross anything off my to do list. 

This is all very unlike me. Very. What happened to my incredible ability to spin plates and wear different hats?

For some reason, I am feeling a lot of pressure lately. Pressure to get back into a good routine with our homeschooling. Pressure to declutter my house (seeing unnecessary crap...er, I mean, STUFF, in every corner is suddenly driving me insane). Pressure to stick to my recent commitment to eating right and doing the Bikini Body Mommy 90 day challenge. Pressure to keep my kids from destroying everything that I just tidied up five minutes ago. 

We've also had a lot of larger time-suckers taking over the schedule (eye doctor appointments, the allergist, hair cuts, not to mention preparing and packing for, then unpacking and doing laundry from, several trips and weekend getaways) - plus we've suddenly added football practice and Cub Scout meetings back into our weekly rotation. Is it horrible that I'm so grateful that no one signed up for our new weekly Bible study this semester? Having one more night filled with people just sounds...exhausting.

I'm probably going to be shunned from the mommy community for admitting this, but the worst part is (...brace yourself...) I have not been enjoying my kids lately. For some reason, their singing is driving me crazy. Their banter is driving me crazy. Asking simple questions, even legitimate ones about schoolwork, is driving me crazy. The whining and constant talking and "Mommy, Mom, HEY MOMMY..." is driving. me. crazy.

Yet it's funny how God has been dropping snippets of hope and encouragement into my life.

This past weekend, I found a blog post in my email about being a Mental Neat Freak. After reading it, I realized that I need to do a brain dump to "sort" all of the stuff floating around in my head. I am hoping to find the time to blog more often. 

On Monday, my daily devotional had this to say, "You will not find My Peace by engaging in excessive planning; attempting to control what will happen to you in the future. Just when you think you have prepared for all of the possibilities, something unexpected pops up and throws things into confusion." (don't I know it)

On Tuesday, this was in my in-box, "So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up. Galatians 6:9" (Promise?!?!?)

Then this morning, in a futile attempt to escape all that I should be doing, I cleared out my email in-box and found a blog post titled, "What about ME: On taking care of yourself as a homeschool mom." 

I almost cried while reading it. THIS is what I have been needing! ME TIME. I have felt selfishly guilty for escaping for some much needed daily mental and physical rest. My kids are around me all. day. long. Sometimes it feels like my day is one big run-on sentence. I speak and am spoken to constantly. Constantly. 

Jason is such a bundle of energy that I can barely see how quickly he is maturing. He's growing out of the...let's call it a...tough phase, that he's been in for more than two years. He no longer thrives on making waves or causing trouble. He can still be a challenge, but he is getting so much better. And I wish I was more appreciative.

Kaylin wants so desperately for her brothers to love and accept her, but generally gets caught in a wrestling match which ends in tears. It seems that she's drawn to me during my quiet moments when all I want is to be alone. Please, for the love of all that is good...I just want some space. Even as I type this, she's curled up on the bed next to me, forfeiting stories with Daddy to just lay near me before bedtime. And all I want to do is escape.

Then there's Ryan...my clone. He is so responsible and I feel that I've taken advantage of that recently. Soliciting him to help with extra chores or occupy Jason with a game of Duck, Duck, Goose because I just don't have it in me. 

I feel consistently torn between doing what I want to do and doing what I know I should be doing. I haven't felt this way since before Jason was born...back when Ryan was the one who was the handful. I'm just feeling so...smothered all of a sudden. On Monday, it was literally giving me anxiety. Mike came home from work early (which never happens) because he had a dentist appointment and I was giddy. I asked if I could go run errands alone then head to the gym. When he asked if I'd be willing to take one of the kids with me, I nearly cried. 

This is SO unlike me!!!

What's worse is that the more I want to be alone, the more the kids are attracted to me. It's a vicious cycle...like they can sense it. 

I need to get my time management under control. Letting all of this out has been helpful, but the practical side of me realizes that I need to sit down and block out chunks of time for school, work,  exercise, Mike, of course, and I can't forget ME TIME. Because I'm drowning without it. 

Whew! I feel a little better already. Time to snuggle with my girl.

Ryan's Cooking Class Binder

Phase one of Ryan's Life Skills Binder is complete! I compiled a binder that has everything I need to teach him the chemistry of baking and how to follow a recipe. Each recipe will be prepared three times: he'll watch once while I make it, then he'll make it while I watch, finally he'll make the item on his own.

Then, just like in the original idea, when he completes our "classes", he gets to invite over some friends for a party where he'll prepare 6-8 of the recipes himself and celebrate with his guests. How fun does that sound??? 

Here are the recipes I included in the baking section. After his baking party, we'll move on to learning breakfast and dinner recipes/techniques because those are a little less concrete. (I already chose our "syllabus" for those classes and included them below. The dinner items are all easy enough to teach the basics, which hopefully will translate over into most other recipes.)

Baking
Granola (minus the wheat germ)
Granola Bars (also minus the wheat germ)
Gluten-Free Banana Bread
Chocolate Cake
Homemade Frosting
Alton Brown's Chocolate Chip Cookies
No-Bake Paleo Cookies
Gluten-Free Brownies
Monkey Munch
Homemade Bread (either Olive Oil Bread or Whole Wheat Bread)
Gluten-Free, Grain-Free Muffins
Apple Pie
Whipped Cream

Breakfast
Eggs - fried
Eggs - scrambled
Eggs - omelets
Eggs - Dad's concoction
Oatmeal
Pancakes
French Toast
Smoothies

Dinner
Chili
White Chicken Chili in the crock pot
Chicken Noodle Soup
Vegetable Soup
Tacos (with homemade, clean eating taco seasoning)
Chicken Enchilada Crustless Quiche
Chicken Fried Rice
Meatloaf/Meatballs
Mashed Potatoes
Rice
Hummus (not dinner, but I want to teach him anyway)

I can't wait to get started!!! My responsibilities are clearly dwindling as the kids grow up. I can see it now: "Ryan, could you please go get dinner started? The defrosted chicken is in the fridge." Soon my role in this family will be all but obsolete. (Mwahaha...)

Inspired: Life Skills Binder

My kids have really had to bring their A-game lately. My wrist will be in this dumb cast for another 2+ weeks, yet my household needs to keep running...smoothly, if at all possible. 

Over the past 3 weeks, I've had the time to teach my kids to help me, and help each other, do basic tasks. Dishes, folding laundry, picking up more regularly, working together to carry heavy things...so many big and little things. Kaylin ties Jason's shoes for me and Ryan has even changed soiled sheets. All of this "life training" has been interesting, to say the least. 

This morning, I read a blog post from Simple Homeschool that could take this training to a whole new level. The writer explained that 9 year old son just "graduated" from his cooking class. With his mom. She has formal baking lessons with her kids when they turned 8 years old. This is SO up my ally!!! I was instantly inspired me to put together a "Life Skills Binder" for each child (starting with Ryan) that helps me teach them how to cook, bake, clean properly, etc.

I'm in the process of putting together a cooking class for Ryan. I announced it to him this morning and he was crazy excited! I have a feeling our neighbors are going to benefit from the extra baking going on in our house!!! 

Our first week back to school was...rough.

I love the beginning of a new school year. Crisp paper, fresh school supplies, sharp pencils, eager minds.

After our 5-week break from homeschooling, we were all starting to crave more routine in our lives. So on Monday of last week, we cleaned up the kitchen after breakfast and wandered up to the schoolroom at 8:30 sharp. Kaylin had spent Sunday resting and recovering from her raging fever Saturday night. She still wasn't 100%, but she was well enough to join us. 

I thought back to the first day of school in a traditional classroom. The teacher spends the whole first week acclimating to her new students and helping them get to know each other. They don't dive right into grammar or math facts, but instead everyone eases back in with "fun" types of learning. As much as I wanted to pick right back up where we left off in May, I restrained myself and took a different approach.

I welcomed the kids into the schoolroom individually, opening the door one at a time and asking, "Who's ready to start 4th grade...???" on down through Kaylin for 2nd and Jason for pre-school. Jason loved it so much, he asked if I can do it every day? I agreed to repeat this simple greeting every Monday morning until they're sick of it.

I began the day by reviewing our school rules and going over some goals for each of us. I explained our new curriculum and how our schedule will change a bit. Then we got into a short Bible lesson.

Getting through this brief introduction was torturous. Everyone was interrupting, everyone had an opinion, everyone was asking to add this or change that...I had absolutely no control of my tiny class. 

The rest of the day? It was a joke. At 11:30am, I texted my best friend: "Today is the epitome of why people say they could never homeschool." All three kids had been in sobbing tears at different points of the morning, I was stressed beyond belief, no one was cooperating with each other (or me)...it was a disaster.

Tuesday, I vowed, would be a better day. I was prepared for the worst and hoping for the best. It didn't take long for me to realize that Jason was acting funny. Not funny haha, funny...calm. Turned out he had a raging fever. I felt a little better knowing that on Monday, he was "off" because he was getting sick and Kaylin was off because she was getting over it. Maybe I'm not such a failure after all?

I plopped Jason in a bean bag chair with his best friend Cocoa and set out to continue educating the big kids. As the day wore on, I noticed my throat itching and my nose feeling stuffy. I popped some Ziacam and trudged on.

(this is not Cocoa's best angle)

Wednesday I woke up officially feeling sluggish and horribly congested. No fever, just a messed up nose, which is difficult to bear when you only have one free hand to use a tissue. I pulled out Mary Poppins and told the kids that while watching the movie, they were learning about music (which totally coincides with our lesson on the ear and paying attention) while I passed out on the couch. It still counts as "school" when the teacher falls asleep, right?

That night, Ryan complained of an upset stomach and hung out around the toilet, convinced he was going to be sick. Our family was falling apart...one person at a time!

By Thursday morning, everyone was better. No fevers, no nausea, my nose was even clearing up. We went to our weekly summer movie, then finished the school day strong. It seemed that things were falling back into place.

Until 2am, which was technically Friday morning. I woke up with severe stomach cramps, convinced I was hungry because I hadn't eaten much for dinner. After some almonds and a half a banana, I still couldn't fall back to sleep. I spent the next hour running back and forth to the bathroom, begging God to help me throw up because I was convinced I would feel better. Finally, for the first time in my life, I stuck my finger down my throat, as far as possible, and made myself vomit. I felt a little better, but was still in too much pain to sleep.

I finally nodded off around 5:30am...just in time for Mike to get up and go to the gym. As he rolled over to turn off his alarm, I grabbed his arm and asked him to call in sick to work so he could take care of me and the kids. He's never had to do that before, but thankfully, he was easily convinced.

My sweet husband then spent the next 10 hours being...me. Well, the old, two-handed version of me. He cooked, he cleaned, he served me meals in bed, he even followed my lesson plan and homeschooled the kids. I think he surprised us both! By 3:00, I was finally feeling better. 

So here we are on Monday and I am completely unmotivated to be productive. Which is a shame, because we have several social things on the calendar this week that require us to stay on task during our at-some school hours.

Here's hoping that everyone stays well for more than 24 hours! And that maybe I'll be more motivated to homeschool after lunch...?

Battling Attention/Focus Issues with Nutrition

Last week, I mentioned that we took the boys off gluten. Many moms with hyperactive, um, busy children have reported incredible results in behavior when their lifestyles eliminated wheat and gluten. Children with ADD and ADHD who have removed gluten from their diets have been taken off medication while showing vast improvements in following instructions and focusing on daily tasks, chores, and school work.

I wanted to give it a try, even though I didn't understand all of the details. After this weekend, I finally feel like I'm in the loop on WHY it works, not just THAT it works. 

Mike and I spent all day Friday and Saturday at the Arizona Families for Home Education (AFHE) Annual Conference. One of the speakers, Dianne Craft, taught one-hour break-out sessions to cover a variety of learning delays and processing problems. This woman was awesome: she stopped doing personal consultations (people would fly in from all over to see her for just a day) when she realized she was booking out more than 12 months. Now, she teaches to the masses through her website and speaking engagements. She doesn't want kids to wait a year to get the help they need. I was so blessed to hear her speak about topics that are daily struggles in our family.

Her talk about why kids have focus and attention issues was absolutely intriguing. Sure enough, the primary reason for many children has to do with their nutrition. 

I feel like I'm going to be all over the board explaining what I learned this weekend, so I apologize. To hear what I heard, you can go to this website and click on 2013 AFHE Annual Convention (if it's not available now, it should be up later this week) and get the "Kids and Teenagers with Focus/Attention Problems" $4 download. If you struggle the way we do with any kind of learning glitches, daydreaming kids, even picky eaters or kids who are highly sensitive to textures, sounds or tags on their clothing, listening to this download will be a great investment of your money and time. (PS - No, I am not being paid in any way for referring you to her website.)

In the meantime, I'll try to recap some of the highlights for you. Basically, kids with these kinds of issues have an imbalance in their "gut". Maybe they had anti-biotics for ear infections when they were little or you had mastitis while nursing and took anti-biotics yourself. Regardless, the affects are  completely reversible and the results are incredible. 

Many of us know that people, boys especially, don't get enough essential fatty acids and oils. Increasing fish oil (not from Costco or Walmart, by the way - we've been taking the wrong pills) and other natural supplements (to rebalance their "gut") will show amazing improvements when paired with drastically reducing (or eliminating) gluten, processed foods and sugar. She has many supplements that she personally recommends and sells on her website, but she encouraged us to buy them at our local health food store or online if we can find them cheaper. Her heart was to help kids, not to get rich...I am so excited to see if this affects our boys and even me, with my unmedicated ADD. This is her recipe for rebalancing the "gut": 

* Pro-biotics 3 times a day for 3 months to "re-plant" the good stuff that was killed off by anti-biotics. (NOT chewable, liquid or powder and must be refrigerated only - if you get this brand from a discount provider, you will just need to take double the amount of capsules because it will not have been received in freezer packs and has less "life" in it)

* A natural anti-fungal like Grapefruit Seed extract 3 times a day for 3 months to kill the yeast that is fed when gluten and sugar is consumed. Tablets only, not liquid. For children under 6, open the capsule and sprinkle it on something sweet - as long as it gets swallowed, do what works!

* To see the full effects of what healing nutritional deficiencies in children really can do, she also recommended trying the following 3 times a day for 3 months: magnesium (for noise sensitivity, irritability, racing thoughts), 5HTP (the "cooperation" vitamin, insomnia, fear, helps the "Eeyore" personality), EFAs (attention/dyslexia), Orange-Flavored Cod Liver Oil (that is emulsified) for better brain performance. There are recommended brands of all of these in her website store.

Mike is a natural skeptic and even he is on board. We shopped around and placed an order for a bunch of natural supplements that we're going to try. The personal testimonies for various results of this 3 month "plan of attack" were inspiring. Children whose grades improved, some who ate meat for the first time after 5 years because the texture didn't bother them, others whose learning problems were "fixed".

The characteristics of the types of kids this process will help described my (seemingly picky/stubborn) boys to a tee. Things like anger/irritability/aggression, memory problems, bed wetting, chewing on clothing (this is new for Jason), sensitivity to loud noises, sensitivity to tags on clothes or clothes that aren't soft/worn in, seeing more negatives than positives ("it's not fair"), mood swings (I affectionately call Jason my bi-polar boy), sugar/carb cravings - just to name a few. Kids don't exhibit all of the characteristics listed, but I was shocked how many of them described Jason and Ryan.

If you're interested, I'm happy to scan and email a copy of my notes from this lecture, as she doesn't go over all of the hand out verbally in the recording that I linked to above. But seriously, this information was life-changing. Unless, of course, it was all smoke and mirrors and doesn't work at all. In which case, I will humbly retract the praises I have been singing throughout the past several paragraphs.

I truly think this woman is a genius. Or the people who taught her were geniuses and she's just passing along the information. Regardless, I cannot wait to put some of her advice into practice. I normally don't care about the science and reasoning behind why things are the way they are, but hearing her explain the brain and how it works was captivating. Her talk on Training Your Child's Photographic Memory is going to transform how I teach my kids math and spelling. If you're a homeschool mom, be sure to download that recording as well, or at least watch the brief video about her Sight Word Cards on her main webpage. 

I'm so excited to get started with our "new" school year in a few weeks. My kids are going to get their confidence back and fall in love with learning once again!!!

(How's that for optimism?)