Bunking Up

We've tried to let our kids have sleepovers in each other's rooms. Dozens of times. Until recently, 100% of the time, the efforts resulted in two overtired kids getting reprimanded and separated 2-3 hours after they "went to bed."

Everyone whose kids share a room insist that I need to stick with it to let the novelty wear off, but I couldn't take the exhausted, whiney, crabby pair the day after the attempted slumber party. One day was bad, two days was awful.

My kids are talkers. They ask a gazillion questions all day long and our house is rarely quiet. They talk and talk and talk. And, even after playing together all day, when they get together to sleep in the same room, they talk some more. Ryan used to be the culprit, but now it's Kaylin who can't keep quiet. Ryan even comes out of his room to tattle on her for continuing to talk.

Once baby #3 arrives, it's likely that the kids are going to have to share a room for about a year. I realize I have almost 9 months to prepare for this, but I decided to give it another try this week. On Tuesday, out of the blue, Kaylin asked if they could sleep in Ryan's tent that night. I reluctantly agreed and (as usual) they were beside themselves with excitement.

They're bedtime is 7:30, 8:00 if we're running late or feeling lazy. At 10:00 on Tuesday night, both kids were up and in the bathroom getting a forbidden drink of water. (we're still working on nighttime dry-ness) I pulled Ryan aside and pleaded with him, trying to get him to understand 10% of what I was saying, though I know he got much more. "Ryan, you're the big brother. You need to set a good example for your sister. She's going to be tempted to talk, but you need to do your best to not talk back. Say, 'We're not supposed to be talking, we're supposed to be sleeping,' or something like that. If she keeps talking, ignore her or pretend to be asleep. Do you want to have sleepovers more often, buddy? Because if you guys can make this work, you can have sleepovers all the time. But if we keep having to separate you, it's not worth it. I'll just keep you alone in your own rooms. I'm counting on you to help me out. I need you to do your best to fall asleep without talking all night long. Do you think you can do that? Can you be a big helper?"

Now I know what you're thinking, "He's four. You're wasting your breath. He doesn't understand when you talk to him like an adult." Oh yes, he does! He nodded throughout my speech, eyes lighting up at the possibility of being "counted on" and being "in charge" of stopping the conversation and getting to have future sleepovers. I think until this point, he's thought, "This happens so rarely, I may as well make the most of it."

I didn't hear much after that little chat. But Kaylin did wake Ryan up at her first opportunity at the crack of dawn. And that day, of course, she was exhausted and crabby. And took a 4.5 hour nap instead of her usual 1.5-2 hour nap.

We tried again last night, but in the bunk beds instead of the tent to keep them separated. Kaylin wouldn't stay in her bed, Ryan couldn't get her to climb back down to her own bed, I had to intercede several times, but they went to sleep much quicker. Today, Ryan was the exhausted one. He asked to go back to bed all morning, even though he was at school. The meltdowns were a-plenty. THIS is why we don't let them sleep together!

Tonight, when they asked to sleep together again, my habit has been to decline the request, since everyone's overtired and Kaylin has proven that she can't handle the temptation to talk and play once the lights are out. But I pressed on. No one came out of the room to go potty. Or get a drink. Or tattle. Or grab ONE more thing that they forgot to bring to bed. It was quiet. And when I went in to peek at them at 9:30 (which is earlier than my last visit in there the last two nights) - all I heard was snoring.

Third time's a charm! This has to get easier. Kids have been sharing rooms for centuries - why am I experiencing such drama? My kids need their sleep and I certainly need them rested to function at my drained, pregnant, already half capacity.

I feel like a new mom whose child finally fell asleep on their own for the first time without crying. Tonight was seriously a victory for my kids sleeping in the same room!