Not to open a controversial can of worms or anything, but homeschooling has been on the forefront of my mind in the last couple of weeks. A series of unrelated, perfectly timed events brought me to a daily discussion with God about whether or not I would homeschool my kids in the fall.
I've always been very open to the idea of homeschooling. Arizona is ranked 49th in the country for education. 49 out of 50 states. That in and of itself is a scary thought! Everyone has their thoughts and opinions on the topic, so I'm not trying to bring about a debate, but since Ryan was little, homeschooling has never been far from my mind.
Things are going well for Ryan in school right now. His teacher is great, his school is fine, he isn't having social issues or learning setbacks or behavioral problems...things with him are fine. Not to mention the fact that Kaylin is out-of-her-mind excited at the prospect of going to school with Ryan next year. Big girl Kindergarten, riding the bus, homework that needs to be turned in...August can't come fast enough for her.
So why consider homeschooling, right?
My biggest issue is how Ryan and Kaylin get along during the school week. Ryan seems a bit disconnected from his sister after being away all day with bigger kids (complete with attitudes that aren't acceptable in our family, but that's for another rant). Kaylin then becomes unnecessarily competitive with him, which translates into her being bossy and controlling. She acts out to get his attention, which annoys him after being with a more mature crowd for several hours. And so the afternoon power struggles begin.
I notice a substantial difference in their sibling rivalry during breaks from school; Christmas, Spring Break and especially during the summer and even on the weekends. Best friends. They play well together, cooperate, use manners, are kind and loving...they are the ideal team.
I want these qualities in my children. I want them to have the one-on-one attention they deserve in a learning environment without the traditional classroom distractions when the teacher, pulled in many directions, is forced to redirect/refocus child after child. I love the idea that most homeschool moms have "school" from 8-noon, then they're done with classroom learning for the day. I love that every homeschooled child I know read far beyond their grade level and that many are able to graduate early. I love that they have the kind of family unity that I strive for in my family. The children are mature, self-disciplined, confident, and they don't hesitate to try to make new friends on the playground because they're clueless about cliques, bullies and "mean girls."
While I prayed and waited for a genuine peace about whether to homeschool or not, I made a decision: I would research homeschool curriculum and work with the kids each morning this summer. We could see how it goes for a few months and get a true picture of what the school year would look like once the new school year began. I felt good about that for the time being.
One major issue that concerns me about school (public, private, charter or Christian alike) is the exposure to topics, ideas, and words that are far beyond my child's years. While I was knee-deep in this decision making process last week, my neighbor friend called me and started the conversation with, "Wanna hear reason #499 to homeschool?" Her 2nd grader came home and asked what "gizz" is. Yes he did.
The story went like this: a 5th grader on the bus wiped something on the 2nd grader's shirt. I'm not sure exactly how he reacted, but he's a bit of a germ-o-phobic, so he didn't like it. The older boy said, "Oh relax! It's germ killer, not gizz." My friend's son asked, "What's gizz?" and a different older boy replied, "It's what you need to get a Mexican girl pregnant."
This situation is disturbing on so. many. levels. These boys are in our neighborhood. In fact, they ride Ryan's bus. Not only are they discussing bodily fluids, they're making racial remarks that are beyond inappropriate. I'm still so bothered by this whole thing. My neighbor friend actually decided to pick her son up from school for the rest of the year (all 6 weeks of it) to avoid further conversations with these kids. (FYI, she handled the situation really well. Later that evening, when he asked her again about gizz, she said, "It's kind of like mucus," which thoroughly disgusted him, sending him racing to the bathroom to scrub up.)
I was obviously further convinced that I wanted to rip Ryan out of school to keep him home with me, protected in a little bubble for the rest of time.
But that's not really why I want to homeschool. Yes, I want him to stay young and unexposed to the nastiness of the world as long as possible. However, my issue truly is more with his heart attitude toward his sister, our family, and others.
Then one afternoon, while praying about whether to homeschool (again), it hit me. I shouldn't be praying about whether or not to homeschool, I should be praying about wisdom and guidance in how to respond to situations and behavior issues as they arise. THAT is my concern, not necessarily all of the issues involved with my kids' education.
Immediately, I felt a sigh of relief. I've restructured my pleas with God and am starting to sense that it's not time for our family to homeschool. Yet. I might change my mind in one year or three years or nine years, but for now, we're sticking with our local, public school. I may still consider some sort of homeschooling curriculum this summer to give us some structure and continue the kids' education...we'll see. And I'm seriously considering scrapping the gas-saving, all-too-convenient bus option altogether. Ugh...driving to and from school every day seriously makes me cringe, but the bored, cocky older kids on the bus may be more real-world exposure than I'm ready for my kids to be around right now. Again, we'll see.
So that's what's been on my mind recently. When it comes to my kids, these kinds of major/minor issues are enough to keep me up at night! But for now, I'm at peace with sticking to what we're doing.
And I cannot wait for the summer break, when I can deprogram my kids and get them back to normal for a few months!
I want these qualities in my children. I want them to have the one-on-one attention they deserve in a learning environment without the traditional classroom distractions when the teacher, pulled in many directions, is forced to redirect/refocus child after child. I love the idea that most homeschool moms have "school" from 8-noon, then they're done with classroom learning for the day. I love that every homeschooled child I know read far beyond their grade level and that many are able to graduate early. I love that they have the kind of family unity that I strive for in my family. The children are mature, self-disciplined, confident, and they don't hesitate to try to make new friends on the playground because they're clueless about cliques, bullies and "mean girls."
While I prayed and waited for a genuine peace about whether to homeschool or not, I made a decision: I would research homeschool curriculum and work with the kids each morning this summer. We could see how it goes for a few months and get a true picture of what the school year would look like once the new school year began. I felt good about that for the time being.
One major issue that concerns me about school (public, private, charter or Christian alike) is the exposure to topics, ideas, and words that are far beyond my child's years. While I was knee-deep in this decision making process last week, my neighbor friend called me and started the conversation with, "Wanna hear reason #499 to homeschool?" Her 2nd grader came home and asked what "gizz" is. Yes he did.
The story went like this: a 5th grader on the bus wiped something on the 2nd grader's shirt. I'm not sure exactly how he reacted, but he's a bit of a germ-o-phobic, so he didn't like it. The older boy said, "Oh relax! It's germ killer, not gizz." My friend's son asked, "What's gizz?" and a different older boy replied, "It's what you need to get a Mexican girl pregnant."
This situation is disturbing on so. many. levels. These boys are in our neighborhood. In fact, they ride Ryan's bus. Not only are they discussing bodily fluids, they're making racial remarks that are beyond inappropriate. I'm still so bothered by this whole thing. My neighbor friend actually decided to pick her son up from school for the rest of the year (all 6 weeks of it) to avoid further conversations with these kids. (FYI, she handled the situation really well. Later that evening, when he asked her again about gizz, she said, "It's kind of like mucus," which thoroughly disgusted him, sending him racing to the bathroom to scrub up.)
I was obviously further convinced that I wanted to rip Ryan out of school to keep him home with me, protected in a little bubble for the rest of time.
But that's not really why I want to homeschool. Yes, I want him to stay young and unexposed to the nastiness of the world as long as possible. However, my issue truly is more with his heart attitude toward his sister, our family, and others.
Then one afternoon, while praying about whether to homeschool (again), it hit me. I shouldn't be praying about whether or not to homeschool, I should be praying about wisdom and guidance in how to respond to situations and behavior issues as they arise. THAT is my concern, not necessarily all of the issues involved with my kids' education.
Immediately, I felt a sigh of relief. I've restructured my pleas with God and am starting to sense that it's not time for our family to homeschool. Yet. I might change my mind in one year or three years or nine years, but for now, we're sticking with our local, public school. I may still consider some sort of homeschooling curriculum this summer to give us some structure and continue the kids' education...we'll see. And I'm seriously considering scrapping the gas-saving, all-too-convenient bus option altogether. Ugh...driving to and from school every day seriously makes me cringe, but the bored, cocky older kids on the bus may be more real-world exposure than I'm ready for my kids to be around right now. Again, we'll see.
So that's what's been on my mind recently. When it comes to my kids, these kinds of major/minor issues are enough to keep me up at night! But for now, I'm at peace with sticking to what we're doing.
And I cannot wait for the summer break, when I can deprogram my kids and get them back to normal for a few months!
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10 comments:
Great, thoughtful post. So glad you're "back"! I can't wait to hear more on your thoughts and decisions, especially how to handle all the "real world" stuff our precious kids are going to face.
We are back in Australia and my oldest started Pre-Primary (equivalent to Kindergarten) in January. She hadn't been in school for 9 months with US summer break and then relocating and different school years... Within weeks I was amazed at all the 'grown-up' stuff she was talking about and doing, especially the attitude. So I've definitely been struggling with this as well. We've had many discussions on good vs. bad choices as well as the old "just because so-and-so does something doesn't make it right".
As for the driving, its not so bad. We don't have school buses down here (I was shocked when I first moved here) and so kids either have to take the public bus or get dropped off. As such, they have well-established "drive-thru" lines at the schools (my daughter goes to a private school) as well as drop-off policies. At first I thought it would be horrible to have to arrange my day around driving her to and from school, but its not that bad. Yes, I sometimes have to wake my 3-year-old from his nap, but he should be up by 2:45 anyway so he sleeps at night. I do find she doesn't really want to talk about her school day at all when she first gets in the car, but the ride home gives her some time to decompress (rather than get extra wrild up if she was on a bus with all the kids) and she's rather pleasant when we get home. She does like to go up in her room for "alone time", which my son has troubles with as he's missed her all day, but we're working it all out.
Katie,
Go check out the book The Well Trained Mind. It is FANTASTIC!!! Okay, well I think it is fantastic:) If you end up reading it, let me know what you think!
Wow. So glad you posted about this....I have always had homeschooling in the back of my head. Next year will be the first year we will have a child in public schools, and it does scare me! I want to selfishly keep them in our safe little family bubble!!
Oy.....next year will be quite a learning experience, for us ALL. I'll be praying about it too!
Whatever you decide, it must feel good to know you're not rushing into either decision. I can understand there being a lot of merit to homeschooling, even though it's not something that would ever work for us. But as the Brits are fond of saying, 'Different horses for different courses'!
No matter what path you choose, you will be giving your children one kind of benefit or another. At home they get undivided attention which will help them thrive now, at school they'll learn how to manage a variety of teaching (i.e. 'management') personalities which will help them thrive in the big bad working world. Either way, with your love and guidance, your kids will thrive....one of the few win-win situations in life!
xoxoxoooxox
Would it be possible to arrange a carpool with some of the moms you know in the neighborhood so you only had to drive 1-2 times a week?
I think that is the very essence of what makes parenting difficult, though. Raising kids would be a piece of cake if all negative outside influences could be eliminated.
Go to the home school convention in July, it may change your life and your mind!
www.afhe.com
Sincerely,
A former AZ public educator, now a home schooling mom
If they don't learn it on the bus, they get it somewhere else!
My 3rd grade daughter unfortunately knows a pretty graphic sexual hand signal now thanks to another 3rd grade boy who himself did not know what it really means. She has also been grinded on on the monkey bars at recess multiple times.
The city we live in has dances for 11-14 year olds. I went to pick my 5th grade son up from one early one Friday, luckily found him in the video game lounge and not the dance floor. Out on the dance floor were several groups of (5) 11-14 year olds grinding on each other. My 5th grade child says oh thats how we dance all the time! Last time he went to that dance!
Raising kids is so difficult! I never thought it would be so hard when I longed for a baby. I knew that late night feedings would be exhausting and so would the terrible two's but I NEVER thought I'd have such a struggle with school for my kids.
I was adamantly against homeschooling up until last spring. I didn't want my kids to be one of those weird, anti-social HS kids. God (luckily) changed my heart. My 6 year old son has been HS this year and we LOVE it! I can't imagine doing anything else. I love being the most important influence in his life. And like you said, I can see a difference in how he treats his little sisters. They are a team now and not enemies. There are so many benefits and I am thankful that I was open to the possibility. There are times that I am sad, however. Christmas concerts, Valentines Day parties, the excitement of Christmas break, snow days, etc.
I think that there is never a perfect choice. Nothing is perfect all the time. The only thing you can do is pray and see where God is leading your family. Good luck as you continue to see where God is leading you.
SO. WEIRD. I actually called my husband to discuss this today. We have always been kind of anti-homeschool. The few kids we have know who have been home schooled had serious social skill deficits. I know, I know this isn't always the case, but it sometimes is. But we live in a medium size town. Small enough to only have 1 school system but big enough to be overcrowded. My daughter loved Pre-K and thrived. This year in K she had a teacher that constantly picked her apart for everything. Now she hates school and never wants to go. And it doesn't help she has 28 kids in her class. I never thought I would consider it but if she has as many kids in her class next year we will most likely home school her for a year or 2. There are no other schools or private schools we can send her to. But like I told my husband, I think the benefits of the socialization reach a point where they are no longer beneficial when you have to put up with such a poor classroom environment.
Excellent and thoughtful post, Katie. As a former teacher and a current homeschooling mama, I've seen both sides of it. Homeschooling is definitely not for everyone, but for some families it really is a wonderful option. I'm glad that you have found peace with your decision.
P.S. I had to google gizz. BLECH.
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