Today is our first official, planned day off from homeschooling. I was feeling a little burned out and made the executive decision to take the month of June off. It's still cool enough in the afternoons for the kids to play out front with their neighbor friends, we have things like VBS and church camp scheduled, and the novelty of "summer vacation" is definitely in the air with everyone we know. And this is the perfect time for me to get all of my stuff done. Car stuff, hair stuff, doctor appointments, scrapbooking...you know, the important stuff!
Yesterday after the gym, I took Jason and Kaylin to the car wash and to get the oil changed. During the 1+ hour adventure, I noticed was another mom and a young girl who arrived at the same time as us and had the same services done on their vehicle. The girl befriended Kaylin.
We learned that her name was Sara and that she just finished 5th grade. She. was. talkative. She talked to Kaylin, she talked to me, she talked to the man sitting near us, she talked and talked and talked. And her mom was silent the entire time. She watched Jason and smiled at his Jason-ness a few times, but she didn't say a word. After an hour of chatting and playing, Sara asked where Kaylin goes to school.
Kaylin: "We homeschool. I'm getting ready to start 2nd grade and my big brother is starting 4th grade."
Sara: "Oh! You homeschool! I go to (named her school). That's where I make most of my friends. Except I don't have many friends. Most of the kids in my school are pretty mean to me."
Heart. Breaking.
Being in our little homeschooling bubble, I tend to forget about the "mean girls." And the cliques. And the teasing. And the bullying. It's like this cultural stigma that we can't get out from under as a society. There are anti-bullying campaigns and no-tolerance policies and yet there are hundreds of thousands of kids, just like Sara, who are affected by their peers in a negative way.
I haven't been able to stop thinking about Sara. That poor girl could very well continue to grow up feeling less and less worthy. Or maybe she'll get to high school and "find" herself, make some friends who treat her well and use her past pain to write awesome ballads that will earn her a Grammy?
I'm hoping for the latter.
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1 comment:
Hmmmmm, this is one of the issues I'm divided on. As much as I hate the idea of my kids suffering at the hands/words of the 'mean kids' at school, I also see HUGE value in them learning from Day One how to manage interactions with children of all personalities, both the good and the bad. When they get out into the big bad working world, those same 'mean kids' are going to be there, and they won't be able to be sheltered from them then. It breaks my heart when Mr T comes crying to me because one of his friends has been 'mean', but I love the learning opportunity to talk through the situation with him and also to let the children conflict manage themselves. So while I love the idea of homeschool shielding him from (most of) that kind of thing, I can't get over the idea that the 'cruel to be kind' philosophy of having him live through those tough experiences will benefit him more in the long run.
However it works out, I hope Sara can get through her difficulties with pride and dignity. xoxoxoxox
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