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| (this photo was taken March of 2010 - they were so little back then) |
I went to Trader Joe's today with all three kids in tow. I love that they have little shopping carts for my children to "help" - we usually go over the rules in the parking lot before entering the store. "No running down the aisles, stay near me, ask permission before you put something in your cart, no racing, no ramming your cart into my heels or the heels of anyone else, be aware of other shoppers trying to walk around you..." blah, blah, blah. I'm surprised they think it's fun anymore after my laundry list of do's and don'ts.
The store seemed busy today, but the kids were still very well behaved. Hyper, finding ways to entertain themselves (that sometimes got in others' way or caused a scene by banging their carts into each other) but overall, the trip was a success in my book.
Then I noticed another mom with kids. Five of them. A baby in the front of the cart, a toddler boy inside the bed of the cart, two girls (4 and 6 years old, maybe) holding onto the sides of the cart and an older daughter (maybe 8?) pushing the cart containing all of the food.
And I thought my kids were well behaved? Wow. These five children were like perfect little angels. I don't think any of them spoke, not even the baby. They were calm and pleasant and mild mannered. The boy in the cart was a little antsy, but even he was a compliant little gentleman. I suddenly noticed that I was comparing myself.
Jason sat still in the front of the cart, but often turned around to grab a grocery item to hold, shake or threaten to throw. Ryan asked a million questions and made a million observations...chattering constantly. Kaylin wanted Ryan's attention and was doing everything possible to get it by giggling, making funny noises and calling his name a little louder than I would have liked. My children seemed like trained monkeys in comparison to this lady's kids.
I was dying to say something to her. "Your children are amazing," or "What's your secret?" or "You homeschool, don't you?" But I said nothing. I found myself justifying that she had mostly girls. Or that she and her husband weren't big talkers. Or that she secretly beats them into submission and the poor kids were scared to speak. I'm positive it wasn't that last one...she looked like a lovely woman who just does something different and better to parent her kids. And I was very, very jealous.
As I drove away from the store, I wished I could be a fly on the wall of her kitchen. What does she say and do differently than how I run my home? What are her household rules? What are her family convictions? What do I need to do to get kids like that?!?!
Then I snapped back into reality and eavesdropped on the backseat of my own van. Kaylin was giggling wildly, Jason chanted, "Tan-too" for the sticker Ryan shared with him, Ryan offered to help unload the groceries when we got home...
And I realized that I need to shut up and count my blessings.
The store seemed busy today, but the kids were still very well behaved. Hyper, finding ways to entertain themselves (that sometimes got in others' way or caused a scene by banging their carts into each other) but overall, the trip was a success in my book.
Then I noticed another mom with kids. Five of them. A baby in the front of the cart, a toddler boy inside the bed of the cart, two girls (4 and 6 years old, maybe) holding onto the sides of the cart and an older daughter (maybe 8?) pushing the cart containing all of the food.
And I thought my kids were well behaved? Wow. These five children were like perfect little angels. I don't think any of them spoke, not even the baby. They were calm and pleasant and mild mannered. The boy in the cart was a little antsy, but even he was a compliant little gentleman. I suddenly noticed that I was comparing myself.
Jason sat still in the front of the cart, but often turned around to grab a grocery item to hold, shake or threaten to throw. Ryan asked a million questions and made a million observations...chattering constantly. Kaylin wanted Ryan's attention and was doing everything possible to get it by giggling, making funny noises and calling his name a little louder than I would have liked. My children seemed like trained monkeys in comparison to this lady's kids.
I was dying to say something to her. "Your children are amazing," or "What's your secret?" or "You homeschool, don't you?" But I said nothing. I found myself justifying that she had mostly girls. Or that she and her husband weren't big talkers. Or that she secretly beats them into submission and the poor kids were scared to speak. I'm positive it wasn't that last one...she looked like a lovely woman who just does something different and better to parent her kids. And I was very, very jealous.
As I drove away from the store, I wished I could be a fly on the wall of her kitchen. What does she say and do differently than how I run my home? What are her household rules? What are her family convictions? What do I need to do to get kids like that?!?!
Then I snapped back into reality and eavesdropped on the backseat of my own van. Kaylin was giggling wildly, Jason chanted, "Tan-too" for the sticker Ryan shared with him, Ryan offered to help unload the groceries when we got home...
And I realized that I need to shut up and count my blessings.
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5 comments:
Honey, your kids sound like normal, healthy, expressive children. I'm actually a bit concerned about five siblings that don't have a million things to say in a supermarket, that don't laugh and talk loud and point things out to their mom, their siblings, and other people. Curiosity and enthusiasm are GOOD things in kids. Other people understand that. Sounds like you're doing just fine.
.....and remember that there will be times YOU are the mom that others see in Trader Joe's thinking 'How can I be more like HER?'
It's just too bad we never get to know about those times, isn't it?! ;-) xoxoxoxoxox
Yes, you measure up! You are doing your best and that's all that matters, isn't it?
AMEN SISTAH!!!! You are "that Mom" more often than you know, dear Katie. I hear it all the time from so many people.
I like it a lot better that your kids are learning to behave WHILE being themselves, instead of making a choice to behaver OR to be themselves. You've chosen the high road. You're encouraging them to be all that Christ envisions them to be.
And you're doing an AMAZING job. Imperfect? Sometimes. Loving and committed? ALWAYS.
Hugs and blessings, my wonderful daughter. I so wish I was one "nth" the Mom to you that you are to Ryan, Kaylin, and Jason.
You inspire me.
I have felt the same way many times about this subject. One day recently while visiting a friend of mine and we chatted for almost an hour and finally I said so where are the kids. They are here and busy doing their own things, WOW I thought. See, when this same friend visits me or anyone stops by my kids are racing to the door and chat with whoever it is and will usually stay with me and this friend/guest and chat the whole time not leaving me much room to talk. It seems rude in a way but I also know my kids love to talk to EVERYONE. I still think it's great her kids occupy their time quietly for that long when I go there and wish my kids sometimes could do that. Sorry so long.
I think your a great mom and that I and lots of others look up to you in awe and appreciation for all you do.
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