Creating a "Pause Button"

This morning I blew it. My first interaction with Ryan was a horrible example of my recent preachings teachings to the kids about the importance of having self control.

I moved Jason into the crib in Ryan's room this weekend. It's been working out well so far, even though he still wakes up crying around the 5:30 hour. Ryan has gotten up every day to give him his pacifier before the fussing turns into screaming and Jason even fell back to sleep for over an hour today with his pacifier back in. I was thrilled!

Until I heard Ryan go to the bathroom. I peeked on the video monitor to see if Jason stirred. Nope - out cold. Ryan snuck back into his room and closed the door quietly. Jason still didn't budge. "Wow," I thought, "Maybe I should have made this transition sooner?"

Then Ryan flipped his light on and poor Jason jolted awake. I immediately ran up the stairs and did the loud, harsh whisper. "Ry-YYYYYYEN! What are you DOING? That light just woke up the BABY!" (with the ever encouraging, "What are you, an idiot?!?!" tone...please don't all rush out to nominate me for Mother of the Year at the same time...)

I went back downstairs, fuming that Ryan doesn't ever seem to think before he acts. GRRRRR! That kid!

But wait...I didn't stop to think before I acted, so why would HE at just five years old? Ouch. (Can you hear my eyes rolling?)

So I had this light bulb moment. I took some time to pray that I could display the kind of self control, patience and consideration that I expect from my kids. I read my Bible for a bit, then opened up "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families" to read a little before everyone was awake and downstairs eating breakfast. Do you know what was on the first line of page 29?? (hey, that rhymed) The first thing I saw when I opened the book to my book mark? Here is the whole section:

Creating a "Pause Button"

It is so easy to be reactive! Don't you find this to be the case in your own life? You get caught up in the moment. You say things you don't mean. You do things you later regret. And you think, "Oh, if I had stopped to think about it, I never would have reacted that way!"

Obviously, family life would be a whole lot better if people
acted based on their deepest values instead of reacting to the emotion or circumstance of the moment. What we all need is a "pause button" - something that enables us to stop between what happens to us and our response to it, and to choose our own response.

It's possible for us as individuals to develop this capacity to pause. And it's also possible to develop a habit right at the center of a family culture of learning to pause and give wiser responses.

I really needed to hear that this morning. I thought maybe some of you might need to hear it too! Remember to pause before reacting today.