My older kids are both thumb suckers. Ryan started out with a pacifier until he was about 6-7 months old and started chewing on the outside of it while teething. When that happened, I figured it had lost its purpose and got rid of it. Then he became a big fan of his thumb. He's only ever sucked his thumb when he has his blanket, which is at bedtime. But now he's five years old and, despite many dentist-recommended, too-early efforts to break this habit, he still sucks his thumb.
These pictures are from the same photo shoot: Ryan's 1 month pictures. It was around this time that he found his thumb, but I'd always pull it out and put his pacifier in his mouth. And I don't remember whether or not I put him to bed with his pacifier, but I know that in the early days, I used to put it back in his mouth again and again if it fell out. I tired of that game quickly.
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Then there's Kaylin. She never took a pacifier, but found her thumb, too. And now she's just like her brother: a blanket and thumb girl at bedtime.
I struggled with this issue with both of the older kids. There are pros and cons to both thumb sucking and pacifiers. You never lose a thumb or forget to pack it in the diaper bag, yet you can't throw it away when it's time to stop the habit. I was told that kids naturally stop sucking their thumbs around 4-5 years old, but it's not happening with Ryan yet.
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So here we are with Jason. He loves to suck, too, and takes a pacifier well. He falls asleep with it very easily, but it often falls out and I refuse to keep popping it back in his mouth 100 times each night. But I'm at a point where I don't WANT him to find his thumb. Ryan found his thumb while sleeping when his pacifier would fall out, so I'm sure Jason will, too.
He WILL fall asleep without it, but it's painful. I mean look at the poor kid in the picture below...it always gets stuck under his cheek, which you know has to be torture for someone without the ability to put it back in his mouth.
At least he didn't end up like Ryan many times. The picture below was taken when Ryan was 2 weeks old...trying to suck on the outside of the fallen pacifier. Asleep.
What I want to know is this: for those of you whose kids took pacifier, did you go through an early phase of retrieving spit out pacifiers as your babies were falling asleep? Because I'm not up for that. But I really don't need another thumb sucker. Do you realize how expensive our orthodontist bills are going to be as it is???
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I guess the nights have just gotten really long already. If the pacifier falls out before he's completely asleep, he cries. And I get up. It falls out again, I get up again. After 2-3 times, I won't get up, hoping he'll be so tired he'll fall asleep. It happens, but it's rare. Because I'm a sucker (no pun intended) and I keep getting up. I didn't do this with the other two...I need to get a spine. I'm looking for advice from the pacifier moms out there. Anyone?!?!
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(I know at least half of you reading this are already arguing with me silently to yourself. There are lots of schools of thought on parenting, so if you comment, remember to be nice!)
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16 comments:
I'm not sure how helpful my comment will be for you. I have longed for a thumbsucker but alas my first two weren't, though my third is showing signs she might! I tried getting all of them to take a pacifier and none of them have (for which I end up being greatful for when I don't have to take it from them). So, I don't have any advice from a pacifier standpoint. BUT, from a thumbsucking standpoint... I was a thumbsucker way longer then I usually care to admit...lets just say I stiopped somewhwere between high school and college! :) I NEVER had any dental problems. I may be an exception..but sometimes I think those things are said to scare us! :) Also.. my mom tried everything under the sun to get me to stop...nothing work. I really had to decide to stop on my own..even if it did take me A LOT longer the the norm! :)
I did NOT want thumb suckers because you can't throw it away, their teeth start to grow outward adn they get a lisp.
My boys were both paci boys for about the first 4/5 months, then I took it away. Mean maybe...but at that age they could not throw a big fit about it. I also never purposely put it into their mouth to quiet them or kept putting it back in when they spit it out. That is you needing it, not them. My boys got it when they were restless or needed to snuggle, but the minute they sat up, I took it completely away, out of sight.
I don't know either...let me know what you find out! Elly never took either, she was a dream! Boe was addicted to the pacifier, but when he would wake up 600 times a night when it fell out, I decided, enough with that! So I took the pacifier away, and now he has been sucking his fingers for 1 1/2 years, and they are all crooked looking!! (I'm hoping that they will straighten out once he's done with this stage!) My husband says he wishes we had kept the pacifier (granted HE wasn't getting up those 600 times to pop it back in) because it is easier to get rid of.
SO, I guess I'm no help at all! Just feeling your pain!!
I'll come out of lurking for this one. :)
My boy was a sucker and needed the pacifier and then decided to use his fingers or thumb as soon as he was coordinated enough for put his pacifier back in himself. But yes, we would run up and down the stairs putting that pacifier back in his mouth whenever it would fall out. As he got older he could keep it in better so we didn't have to go up and down so much. Is this making sense? Anyway, we just tried to associate the need to suck with sleeping and now he doesn't suck his thumb unless he is dead tired or in his crib. It could just be him. But I would keep up with the pacifier as long as you can because those are easier to ease off than thumbs. :)
Oh, and I would try to prop up the pacifier with his hand (he would just grab it and take it out due to reflex) or his blanket. Hand is safer, blanket works better.
LC could never figure out how to use a pacifier (despite our desperate attempts to find ANYTHING to keep his screaming to a manageable amount .... you remember how much he screamed) and became a thumbsucker, and still is at four and a half. BUT, he only does it in bed as he's falling asleep. And yes, he also lisps, but there are many reasons children do this (he's already been evaluated by a speech therapist, and thumb-sucking is only one teeny part of lisps....and pacifier use can also cause lisps!).
All in all, both our dentist and the speech therapist have said that thumb-sucking only for the few minutes it takes to fall asleep is NOT a problem. It's a problem when the child thumb-sucks ALL DAY, not 10 minutes out of the day.
I hope others can provide you advice on the pacifier issue, I can only talk about personal experience with bed-only thumb-sucking and speech/dental advice. There's no one-size-fits-all wisdom on this, so find what feels right for you and go for it!
Well, I didn't really want either. So, I offered the pacifier for the first month or two, but not to sleep, only to get their "suck fix" out. For Sophie, she used the pacifier a little around 12 months to chew on when teething, but for nothing else. So, again only while awake. She never sucked her thumb or fingers until about 6 months ago when she realized one of her friends sucked her thumb, so I worked a little on not doing it, and she hasn't.
Lydia started to try thumb sucking around 6 mo and mostly while sleeping. So, for about 5 or 6 nights, I got up every couple hours to pull the thumb out of her mouth, until she consistently didn't do it anymore. It was effort, but well worth it.
So, in conclusion I have two girls, 3 and 1, that sleep through the night and don't have pacifiers, blankets, or suck their thumbs.
I thought i was commenting but sent you an emial insted...DAH! All my kids were Pappy kids. I sucked my thumb and didn't want them to go through the issue of stopping because you can't take the thumb away. Mac had his pappy(all 15 of them) till he was 2 and then we packed them up and threw a pappy going away party. Kamryn was the same way. She had a ton of them and they liked the Nuk kind. Zander would only take the ugly, big green one the hospital gave us when he was there for 8 days. When he was about 6 months old I was at the outlet mall and chased a mom down asking where she got her cute pacifier. It looked like the green one with a small beanie baby attached to it. It is called a Wabbanub. It was great. He was able to find it in his crib when it fell out and pop it back in. I even let him keep them to chew on while he was teething. It was the only thing he liked. I would put it in the fridge for a bit and give it to him. I ordered mine off the internet but it was well worth the investment. Good luck.
I have/had both. carley found her thumb at 6 weeks and slept through the night from then on, but i have no way of removing her thumb with all attempts from the dentist and me harping on her she still sucks her thumb, we just have to wait for her to want ot stop. Cohen was my deedee (pacifier) baby, he took it from day one, and I was a sucker and would make sure he had access to it, only for my own welling being, meaning if he was quite there was peace in the house, he was relentless when it came to crying, there was no cryng it out for him. Once he started chewing the sides of the pacifier we had to remove it, and he was fine with it, he was about 2, but around age 1 I wouldn't give it to him out in public. I don't know if this was much help to ya, but I personally feel babies 1-2 mos. old still feel the need to suck and be near you since that's all they knew for 9 mos.
I highly recommend the wubbanub. My kids all use pacifiers until they were two. Took it away and we were done. Wubbanubs are cute and they stay in the mouth better.
:)
my 2 cents for free.
www.wubbanub.com
I had two thumb suckers in my seven children. They are nine and six now, and still suck their thumbs. My pacifier children I did a HUGE no-no. I took a small burp towel, rolled it up tight and small, and placed it by the paci to keep it in the babies mouth. I'm sure tons of people are aghast that I put something next to my babies mouth, but it worked for us, and was safe in my opinion since the baby wasn't moving around anyway!
P.S. The paci babies all got rid of them by age two. It has been nice!
I wish my teenager would take a pacifier...seriously.
LOL
I have also had paci kids and thumb/finger sucking kids.
I didn't encourage the finger/thumb sucking...it came naturally. I think it was an awesome answer for those two babies who needed to "self soothe" with that method. (Abbey was even caught sucking her thumb on an ultrasound in utero) She just came out with that desire/need.
Abbey (now six) still sucks her finger when she is really tired...but not really much any other time.
My paci kids...never really took them past the age of 6 months.
I have been blessed, most of my kids have been happy and easily adapted to whatever was going on and I didn't need to pay too much attention to this whole issue! :)
Do what your heart tells you to do.
One of those.."whatever works for me" issues again. ;)
SORRY about the deleted comment...that was me...I had a couple of big typos...and I couldn't live with that! LOL
My daughter sucked her fingers and we are working on quitting that now because she was really attached to them and it bothered my husband (we've had success, though, I can email you about it if you want to hear)... So I've used a pacifier more this time with our son to try to avoid the finger habit. But I don't give it to him in his crib at night because I don't want to be a slave to the pacifier. He gets it mostly only in the evenings when he is cranky to calm him down. I have a feeling he is going to suck his thumb eventually - he has a few times already.
I was a thumb sucker and it really jacked up my teeth when I was little, but my mom's theory is "They are going to need braces anyways, so don't sweat it".
But if Sam is a thumb sucker, I'm sure we will try to break the habit around 2 years old just like with our daughter.
I have had both thumb suckers and binki users here at my house. Both of my girls sucked on their thumb/fingers. Both of my boys used binkis.
When my oldest daughter came home from the hospital, we tried using the binki. It kept falling out and I kept putting it back in every time she cried! Ugh! It was exhausting. We helped her find her thumb. Big mistake! At 12 years old and an expensive orthodontist bill later, I so wished I had stuck to the binki.
My eldest son had a binki, and loved it. He lost them just about as often though. At 2 when he had croupe and couldn't breathe, we took away the binki and it never came back. Yeah! No braces for that one! Next son, we used the binki for him too. I don't remember when he stopped using it, but I remember we told him the garbage man took it. He was fine with that.
My youngest daughter, who is now 7, sucks on her two middle fingers. We tried the binki with her, but it didn't stick. We didn't encourage sucking on her fingers, it just happened. We, despite many attempts, are having a hard time getting her to stop. (She is wearing a sock on her hand while she sleeps at this very minute) She really wants to stop, and gets discouraged when she wakes up and finds herself with her fingers in her mouth. Her front teeth stick out a bit, and she has a lisp (which she is in speech therapy for) not sure if that is from sucking on her fingers or not.
I myself, sucked my thumb until I was about 12. I never needed braces as a kid, and I didn't not have any speech problems. Maybe I was lucky, maybe the fact that our teeth are constantly moving had something to do with it. Who knows. There are pros and cons to both. You just have to do what works best for you and for your kiddos.
Good luck! :0)
We are a pacifier (we call it a binkie) family ALL THE WAY! I had one until I was about 9, embarrassing to admit, i know. My older son had one that he loved - way too many pics of his first year with a binkie in. Around a year we only let him have it in his crib and made a little game of him throwing it down in the crib after naps or in the morning. then around 2 we just told him it was time to throw them in the trash and he never asked about them. With son #2, who is 16 months, we are on the same program. Just recently we started the throw down in the crib routine. Both boys only liked 1 kind, the gerber soft center bulb, which you can't find anymore. They have never fallen out at night, and both boys were swaddled too so they couldn't even fish around for the binkie in the crib. My personal opinion is that binkies are better because you can throw them away and a thumb is forever. Good luck!
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