Out of the Mouths of Babes

Kaylin: "Why don't boys wear lipstick?"
Ryan: "Because only girls wear lipstick. Boys wear chapstick."
Kaylin: "But why DON'T boys wear lipstick?"
Ryan: "Because if they did, people would laugh at them."
Kaylin: "Oh...yeah."
(I'm not sure that answer goes back to the origin of WHY boys don't wear lipstick, but it was good enough for Kaylin!)
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(at 3am, there was a soft tap on my arm)
Ryan: "Mommy, I had a bad dream..."
Me: "What was it about, honey?"
Ryan: "There was a Sea Monster on the playground and it wouldn't get off the swings and it was trying to eat people. It was really scary."
Me: "Don't be afraid. That would never happen because Sea Monsters don't play on playgrounds...they live in the sea."
(silence)
Ryan: "Um, Mommy?"
Me: "Yes?"
Ryan: "I thought monsters weren't real..."
(Oops, that's right. I'm so sleep deprived, I didn't even go that route!)
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Kaylin: "Mommy, can I have dessert?"
Me: "What's the rule?"
Kaylin: "If I eat all of my dinner, then I can have dessert."
Me: "That's right."
Kaylin: "What's for dessert?"
Me: "Cookies."
(15 minutes of pushing food around the plate later...)
Kaylin: "May I be excused?"
Me: "Sure. Are you done eating?"
Kaylin: "Yes."
Ryan: (in a shocked tone) "You won't get a cookie if you don't finish your dinner..."
Kaylin: "Yeah, I know. But I shouldn't eat sugar. It will give me holes in my teeth."