Random Ramblings

I need a good brain dump. I emailed a friend the other day, spewing out all sorts of nonsense, but apparently I have more that I need to get out of my head.
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I went to the doctor yesterday and all is well. This man, however, is a complete liar. He said I'm not that big. HELLO? Nice try buddy, but I'm your patient, not your wife. There's no need to flatter me. Let's get real. He tried convincing me that I've grown as wide and long as my body will allow, so I'll probably only gain a few inches in depth (horizontal to the ground, if that makes sense) and that's it. I've gained 25 lbs so far (again, I think he was rounding down here, but I haven't been paying attention) and he's convinced the baby will be 7.5-8 lbs and come flying out in 3-5 quick pushes. He clearly wants to be in my good graces, for some reason. The best news from the appointment was that he's willing to induce me early, since I'm opposed to having a baby on Halloween. (call me crazy, but you'll agree when you find out this kid's name) For that, I am completely thrilled. And since I delivered Kaylin a week early and this is #3, he seems to think I'll deliver on my own a couple of weeks early without being induced, which would be just lovely. (He's probably blowing smoke there, too, because really...how could he be so sure???)
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Have I mentioned that I feel fat? I'm not sure if you caught that in the last paragraph. I am so sick of strangers asking me if I'm SURE there's only one baby in there. What are people thinking? Here's a little tip: don't ever say that to someone. Ever. I know it doesn't help that I've been wearing more form-fitting shirts this time around. They really do make me look like a whale...if I threw on an XL maternity t-shirt, all would be camouflaged, so I can see how I'm kind of bringing on the conversations myself.
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A couple of friends have separately offered to throw me a shower (or as one called it, a "sprinkle") and I felt really weird about it. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of stuff I don't have, believe it or not (much was borrowed from now-distant friends with the first two kids) and I love me a good party (especially when it's centered around...ahem...ME) but it still felt a little selfish. They talked me into it, have joined forces and a Sprinkle is now being planned. Now my dilemma is who to invite. Because I don't want anyone to feel excluded, but I also don't want people to get an invitation and think, "Really? For her THIRD baby? Did she just invite me for the gift, or what?" So this is a blanket statement to all friends, acquaintances, neighbors and fellow pre-school moms who read my blog: if you DO get invited, please don't role your eyes and feel obligated to spend lots of money on me. If you DON'T get invited, pu-leeeease don't be hurt. I probably felt too weird about asking you to come, wondering if I appeared greedy having a shower for a third baby. Now that I've said all that, watch...NO ONE will show up. :)
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I noticed on my baby countdown yesterday that I had 66 days left until my due date. That suddenly seems so...soon. Especially considering the news that my doctor is willing to knock 10-14 days off of that!
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I pulled out all of our baby boy stuff last weekend and am starting to get really excited about having another boy. I'm in such a "little girl mode" that I think I was a little disappointed under it all, but now I'm officially looking forward to having a new little bubba around.
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Switching gears (I warned you that this is a brain dump...) the floor under my kitchen table has huge chunks of cantaloupe, sandwich and dried pasta that my handy dandy Shark sweeper won't pick up. These are the times where I wish we had a dog. It's just not that easy for me to bend down and grab the big pieces anymore. So the food will have to sit there and taunt me every time I walk by.
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I've been going a little stir crazy being home so much. Yesterday, I took Kaylin to a free story time at the library, which she loved. Then today, we went to an hour of "open gym" at a nearby gymnastics studio for $5. Taking both kids for $10 felt like a stretch, but $5 to get Kaylin out and active in this 110 weather seemed do-able, just this once. Especially considering that I dropped an extra $5 on Tomato Basil Hummus and Rye Crisp Crackers from Trader Joe's for lunch instead of eating the salad I have every day. The hummus was delicious. And a 7 oz package is nearly scraped clean. (I did share with Kaylin, but still...I ate most of it)
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Kaylin is no longer excited about starting pre-school. I think she's starting to enjoy being an only child from 8-3 every day. What's cute is that she sometimes calls it, "Pretty School" and I overheard her tell my mom today on the phone that Ryan was at, "Kid Garden" instead of Kindergarten. A garden for kids. Hilarious.
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She asked to sleep in Ryan's bed today for her nap, which was kind of sweet. She acts aloof, but I know she still misses him all day.
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As much as I seem to complain (about being hot, fat, tired, bored, sick of listening to arguing kids) I had an overwhelming feeling come over me this morning that nothing really BAD has happened to our family in a very, very long time. Sure, Mike's layoff last fall was a shock, but for some reason I was never really worried about him finding a new job. I'm talking BIG stuff. Mike and I were watching Cinderella Man the other day and it helped me to feel very blessed. Seeing the main character give his breakfast bologna to his daughter (because she was still hungry and there wasn't enough to go around) and watching them live in a REAL depression put it all in perspective. The economy is bad, yes, and people are still losing their jobs and homes left and right, yes, but the vast majority of Americans aren't turning to soup kitchens for food or being forced to live on the streets, as they did in the 30s. I'm sure some of you reading this are heavily affected by the economy, so I don't want to stir up raw emotion, I'm just saying that getting a visual picture of what my great-grandparents went through gave me some perspective...and it's much different than how the media plays it out for us every day.
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In other blessings: I haven't had anyone close to me die since I was 11. My family has had one threat of cancer that was quickly treated and we've all moved on. Most everyone I know is in fairly good health. I do know of a couple of shocking infidelities and some heartbreaking stories of divorce, disease, infertility and miscarriage that friends have had to endure, but nothing like that has hit our family yet. Is it strange to think that my time might be coming?
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My daily life doesn't always seem easy, but in the grand scheme of things, I have it SO incredibly easy. And in this moment, I am very, very grateful.